Part 19
How'd I know this? The idiot wrote it in the front of my address book! However, I can't type a space (it says, "INVALID-CHARACTER") so I have to replace spaces with dashes, just like it does.quote:
>plug computer in
With an irritating little click (it used to be thrilling, but, quite frankly, you have really had enough of the damned Boysenberry by now) your portable computer lurches into action.
code:
Boysenberry Terminal Emulator 5.21 All diagnostics completed Press any key to boot... [CONNECTION IN PROGRESS.... CONNECTED TO DVH2 NODE 0106. WAITING.] [ENTER-YOUR-ID,-OR-QUIT-TO-DISCONNECT] [ID: RANDOM-Q-HACKER] [ENTER-YOUR-PASSWORD] [PSSWD: RAINBOW-TURTLE]
Now we're inside the hacker's system. Time to get revenge on the little bastard:
ZBUG.HAK is the Zalagasa Boysenberry User's Group - that's what the hacker was running the first time we typed "who". Wonder what he's running now?quote:
code:
[LOGON AT 19:37 DVH2 CHA/OS: ? OR HELP FOR HELP] [ENTER-COMMAND] [CMD: HELP] [TYPE THE NAME OF A COMMAND, FOLLOWED BY A CARRIAGE RETURN. ? OR HELP GETS THIS LISTING. QUIT OR LOGOUT DISCONNECTS FROM MAINFRAME AND TURNS TERMINAL OFF. COMMAND LISTING FOLLOWS. COMMAND LIST: WHO: LIST USERS CLR: CLEAR THE SCREEN DIR: LIST FILE NAMES TYP: SHOW FILE ON SCREEN REN: RENAME A FILE COP: COPY A FILE DEL: ERASE A FILE RUN: RUN A PROGRAM] [ENTER-COMMAND] [CMD: WHO] [USER DATA PROGRAM RQH DVH2 CHA/OS RQH ZBUG.HAK HAK] [ENTER-COMMAND] [CMD: DIR] [DIR DVH2<CHA/OS.OP>*.* PLANE.EXE HAK.EXE FIDUC.HAK MENU.HAK AIRPLANE.HAK POST.HAK ZBUG.HAK TRAVEL.HAK DVH2.HAK] [ENTER-COMMAND] [CMD: TYP] [ENTER-NAME-OF-FILE-TO-SHOW] [FILE-NAME: PLANE.EXE] [ERROR: INVALID-FILE-FORMAT.] [CMD: TYP] [ENTER-NAME-OF-FILE-TO-SHOW] [FILE-NAME: FIDUC.HAK] [;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;; FILLMORE FIDUCIARY TRUST ;;; ;;; CENTRAL COMPUTER ACCESS ;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; .RUN LOGON SLARTIBARTFAST] [NON-ASCII CHARACTERS ENCOUNTERED] [ENTER-COMMAND] [CMD: TYP] [ENTER-NAME-OF-FILE-TO-SHOW] [FILE-NAME: MENU.HAK] [;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;; GENERAL RESTAURANT ACCESS CODE ;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ; THIS CAN HACK ANY RESTAURANT WITH ; COMPUTERISED INVENTORY, ORDER ENTRY, ; OR BOOKKEEPING. .RUN] [NON-ASCII CHARACTERS ENCOUNTERED] [ENTER-COMMAND] [CMD: TYP] [ENTER-NAME-OF-FILE-TO-SHOW] [FILE-NAME: AIRPLANE.HAK] [;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;; FAA TRAFFIC CONTROL COMPUTER ;;; ;;; AND NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE ;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ; USE THIS TO CAUSE THE WEATHER ; SERVICE TO ISSUE BOGUS FORECASTS, ; AND TO CAUSE ANY ARBITRARY AIRCRAFT ; TO BE ROUTED TO ANY ARBITRARY ; LOCATION.] [NON-ASCII CHARACTERS ENCOUNTERED] [ENTER-COMMAND] [CMD: TYP] [ENTER-NAME-OF-FILE-TO-SHOW] [FILE-NAME: POST.HAK] [;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;; POSTAL MISDIRECTION HACK ;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ; IN ADVANCED COUNTRIES, THIS CAN ; CAUSE MAIL TO ANY SPECIFIED ADDRESS ; TO BE DELIVERED TO ANY OTHER ADDRESS ; WITHOUT USING TELL-TALE FORWARDING ; STICKERS .READ COUNTRY .READ STATE OR PROVINCE .READ CITY .READ STREET .READ NUMBER .READ APARTMENT .RUN [NON-ASCII CHARACTERS ENCOUNTERED] [ENTER-COMMAND] [CMD: TYP] [ENTER-NAME-OF-FILE-TO-SHOW] [FILE-NAME: ZBUG.HAK] [;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;; NATIVES ;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ; CONNECT TO ZALAGASA BOYSENBERRY ; USERS' GROUP COMPUTERS, JUST TO MAKE ; SURE THEY AREN'T GETTING ANYWHERE ; THEY DON'T BELONG] [NON-ASCII CHARACTERS ENCOUNTERED] [ENTER-COMMAND] [CMD: TYP] [USER RQH ABOUT TO USE POST.HAK] [FILE-NAME: TRAVEL.HAK] [;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;; TRAVEL AGENCY AND AIRLINE ;;; ;;; RESERVATIONS MANIPULATION ;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ; MANIPULATE AIRLINE RESERVATIONS -- ; ROUTE SELECTED TRAVELLER TO ANY ; DESIRED DESTINATION, WITH ANY ; DESIRED INTERMEDIATE STOPS. CAN ; ALSO CAUSE AIRLINES TO AUTOMATICALLY ; ROUTE GROUPS OF TRAVELLERS ; INCORRECTLY.] [NON-ASCII CHARACTERS ENCOUNTERED] [ENTER-COMMAND] [CMD: TYP] [ENTER-NAME-OF-FILE-TO-SHOW] [FILE-NAME: DVH2.HAK] [;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;; EMERGENCY DVH2 CHA/OS ACCESS ;;; ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; ;;===>>>WARNING<<<=== ;; MAKE SURE THIS ISN'T DIRECTED AT A ;; FRIENDLY COMPUTER!!! IT WILL NEVER ;; WORK AGAIN!!!] [NON-ASCII CHARACTERS ENCOUNTERED]
Here's where this is tricky (in the sense of devious or underhanded): if you look closely above, you'll see that one of the prompts says, "USER RQH ABOUT TO USE POST.HAK" instead of the usual. Unlike the standard prompts, this message only stays until you press a key, so if you're flying through typing command after command, chances are you'll start the next command before you even notice it's there.quote:
code:
[ENTER-COMMAND] [CMD: WHO] [USER DATA PROGRAM RQH DVH2 CHA/OS RQH POST.HAK HAK]
Let's try running something now.
If we're lucky, that just summoned a plane to the airstrip we saw above. If we're unlucky, we have to run AIRPLANE.HAK or TRAVEL.HAK first.quote:
code:
[ENTER-COMMAND] [CMD: RUN] [ENTER-NAME-OF-FILE-TO-RUN] [FILE-NAME: PLANE.EXE] [AIRPLANE REQUEST TRANSMITTING... RECEIVED... CONFIRMED... ACKNOWLEDGED...]
So... we can't execute the .HAK files directly, because the hacker's constantly monopolizing the HAK.EXE program. We'll have to trick him into running them.quote:
code:
[ENTER-COMMAND] [CMD: RUN] [FILE-NAME: HAK.EXE] [ERROR: HAK-BUSY-USER-RQH.]
Well, never mind then - let's just go outside and see if the plane comes. If not, we'll come back here and try to run TRAVEL.HAK.
And now, we sit back and wait for rescue.quote:
Your screen goes blank.code:
[ENTER-COMMAND] [CMD: QUIT]
The modular plug is automatically ejected from the jack like a little rat from a tiny drainpipe.
>w
Air Shaft
>u
You struggle up the air shaft, and find yourself back above ground.
Landing Strip
This is a bare landing strip surrounded by jungle. An air shaft leads down.
17 points - getting closer!quote:
>z
Time passes.
In the distance you hear the sound of Zalagasans having a huge row about whether bearnaise sauce or grated Parmesan is better with boiled visitor.
>z
Time passes.
For some reason, the Zalagasans have started droning... or have they? No, it is the sound of an aircraft in the distance. The sound of the engines gets louder and louder until suddenly an ancient DC-3 appears nightmarishly low above the treetops, circles the airfield once, and lands with a cloud of dust and a squeal of brakes.
The door opens and you leap on board to be greeted by a ruggedly handsome flight attendant. "You finally fixed that dreadful nerd," he says. "You wouldn't believe what he was doing, even to our own navigation systems. It was as if he didn't care who he inconvenienced, even himself, as long as he was hacking. Gosh, I'm just so grateful I could die!"
With that, the flight attendant enfolds you in his arms and you begin to realise why people like private aeroplanes.
You knew something was up, didn't you? Quite right.
The pilot comes back to where you are sitting, spoiling your tasty fun. You wonder why he is not flying the aeroplane, but when he explains that the computerised navigation system appears to be going haywire due to outside intervention, you realise why he is not flying it. There would be little point.
You realise just how little when the aeroplane goes into a steep spiral dive and you hear a loud bang followed by a toneless but exuberant rendition of an ancient Zalagasan song about what a coincidence it is that, just when everyone is feeling peckish and wondering about sending out for a 48-inch deep-dish pizza with extra everything, there should be a convenient lunch delivery.
Your last words are "Hey! I don't like anchovies!" But the Zalagasans put them on you anyway.
Death
You are dead.
[Your blood pressure is 0/0, in 714 moves. Your status is Defunct. Your score is 17 out of a possible 21, making you a Victim.]
So, it looks like the plane came just fine, but we have to put the hacker's system out of commission before we get on it. That's simple enough - no need to fiddle about running hacks, we can just delete something important. Say, HAK.EXE.
Ok. So, we need a more subtle way of destroying his system.quote:
Unfortunately, it would seem that the nerd has noticed that someone deleted a file he wanted to use and realised that you are there.code:
[ENTER-COMMAND] [CMD: DEL] [ENTER-NAME-OF-FILE-TO-ERASE] [FILE-NAME: HAK.EXE] [ENTER-COMMAND] [CMD: DIR] [DIR DVH2<CHA/OS.OP>*.* PLANE.EXE FIDUC.HAK MENU.HAK AIRPLANE.HAK POST.HAK ZBUG.HAK TRAVEL.HAK DVH2.HAK]
Doors slam shut all around you, and freon gas is discharged into the room. You continue to breath normally for a bit, and then you breathe abnormally. Then you breath normally again, just for a change.
Suddenly, a small hatch opens low in the wall and a horde of little tiny automatic nerds with dirty spectacles and greasy hair shuffle in, twitching and whining and fiddling with their little hex calculators. You briefly wonder why you have received a social call from the MIT freshman year, then realise that the little nerdlets are in fact the nerd's private army.
Not a very good army, it's true, but then they don't have to be. The freon gas is killing you quite satisfactorily, thank you; all the robot nerdlets have to do is laugh at you, which they do. And all you have to do is expire, which (knowing your place in the scheme of things) you do.
The last thing you hear before you die is one of the little nerdlets saying "Hey! Wait! Would you like to go out with me?"
Death
Our tools: it turns out we can copy files around without him noticing. It's only if a file disappears (that is, you rename it, move it or delete it) that he sends his goons after you. So we can copy the .HAK files over top of other .HAK's. My first thought was to copy something innocuous, like MENU.HAK, over top of AIRPLANE.HAK, which presumably what he used to make the plane crash. This turns out not to work, for no explained reason - he crashes it anyway, and you get the exact same ending text, so there's no point in showing the whole process.
My second attempt was just as successful.
...and repeat for all .HAK filesquote:
[ENTER-COMMAND]
[CMD: COP]
[ENTER-NAME-OF-FILE-TO-COPY]
[FILE-NAME: DVH2.HAK]
[ENTER-NAME-OF-NEW-FILE]
[FILE-NAME: FIDUC.HAK]
[ERROR: TARGET-FILE-ALREADY-EXISTS.]
[Y-TO-OVERWRITE: Y]
[OVERWRITTEN]
[CMD:]
Theory here is that if you can get him to run DVH2.HAK - the one with a big warning saying NEVER RUN AGAINST A FRIENDLY SYSTEM - it'll destroy him. Unfortunately, after the third or fourth file he notices that you're changing things, and sends his little gassy army out.
So, you have to wait until the line that says what he's about to run, and overwrite just that one file. We've only got one shot at this:
Next time: escape!quote:
The DVH2 shuts down. In the distance you hear a familiar gloomy moan like a damp llama, as the nerd yells and screams at his huge computer.code:
[USER RQH ABOUT TO USE POST.HAK] [CMD: COP] [ENTER-NAME-OF-FILE-TO-COPY] [FILE-NAME: DVH2.HAK] [ENTER-NAME-OF-NEW-FILE] [FILE-NAME: POST.HAK] [ERROR: TARGET-FILE-ALREADY-EXISTS.] [Y-TO-OVERWRITE: Y] [OVERWRITTEN] [CMD: WHO [USER DATA PROGRAM RQH DVH2 CHA/OS RQH POST.HAK HAK] [ENTER-COMMAND] [CMD: QUIT]
"I'll give you 58 bucks to get working again," he yells, but unfortunately, thanks to your timely intervention, he has hacked into his own mainframe and destroyed its crucial I/O operations.
[Your score just went up.]
The modular plug is automatically ejected from the jack like a little rat from a tiny drainpipe.