Part 40: Episode XXXVI: In Which We Ask "Who Watches the Watchers?"

Episode XXXVI: In Which We Ask "Who Watches the Watchers?"

Verse 4: Despair


Some of these verse preludes tend to be like the "Episode Synopsis" on DVDs of The Wire. I don't need to know Slim Charles and Cheese play hopscotch with Omar when Ziggy Sobotka comes out of fucking nowhere and guns them all down with a Tommy Gun! I haven't even watched the episode yet! Why are you telling me this?!


Time for yet another Event Stage. While it is possible to die in Event stages, you have to really, really suck to do so. All enemies have ridiculously low HP and go down in one or two hits. Unfortunately, they also give only 1XP a piece and don't count toward sword murdering level up (which doesn't matter because only Caim's Sword is auto-equipped.)

A short jog and a dozen dead soldiers later...


Who could have seen this tragedy coming? What? Everyone? Oh well... Inuart is still going to sulk like a nancy about it.


"What shall I do?"

It is worth mentioning that aside from being a clingy ex-boyfriend, Inuart has fuck all official status and there's no real reason anyone should be following his lead whatsoever. Caim and he are supposedly childhood friends. But other than sort of enjoying his singing, there never really is any reason they would ever get along.

A plot device flows through the air...



"No, he has a ham radio operator's license... Of course he has a pact beast. Have you seen the man?!"
"No..."
"Why are you here again?"


I...what? How does that even work...? How would you...?


Right, let's just glaze over that for a bit. Maybe it's just some odd figure of speech.


As I previously said, Drakengard Europe has really no correlation with the real Europe other than its shape. If I remember correctly, I think the desert in question is around Germany.


Let's be honest here, your initial plan was "Run away and hide in the woods with the elves and hope everything will blow over." Your lack of anything resembling a spine was made abundantly clear when your only contribution to the last battle was pushing over one guy, playing a harp, and singing.


"I like butterflies."


I'm sure this desire for power to protect the goddess will never become an issue later on down the road. No sir.


Yeah, I can still do that no problem. The only thing that isn't working anymore is my voi-oh you mean come along with you! Sure...
"Be glad I am the only one who can hear you..."


Well, that was all very enlightening.

Verse V: A Distant Sound


See, now this is a decent summary. It recaps what had taken place and leaves a little hook on what's to come. It's not that hard to do.


There is roughly two seconds of walking before the cutscene triggers. Why these things don't just start out in the cutscene phase, I will never know.


What's this? The murder of Imperial soldiers by someone besides Caim? Something is clearly afoot.



"Eat not the Watchers.
Smell not the Watchers.
Watch not the Watchers.
Rap not about the Watchers.
Make not political cartoons about the Watchers.
Photoshop not the Watchers.
Make not Wikipedia entries about the Watchers. They would just get deleted anyway."


Another lamer ARG? Probably viral marketing for something.
"I was thinking more along the lines of heavy handed ominous foreshadowing. But, now that you mention it, that does sound rather likely."


"Love... Crimson blood... Poison... Eternity... Revenge. Two. Sacrifice. Mother! Ritual. Scarlet. Prayers! Heresy. Hell. Solitude. Clouded skies. Madness. Goddess. The world. Watchers. Adore."
"Us."




Another lamer ARG? Probably viral marketing for something.
"I was thinking more along the lines of heavy handed ominous foreshadowing. But, now that you mention it, that does sound rather likely."


"!!"
"...?"
"..."
"Have you forgotten your pact price already, fool human?"
No, I'm not retarded. I just got startled is all. And don't call me a fool, damned dragon.
"What's gotten into you?"
I'm annoyed about something you did... At least I think I should be. I don't know.
"You are an odd one, Caim."
The hell do you want, Lenny? Hey, are you friggin' PRAYING for this guy?!


Caim kicks Leonard in the knee since...well Caim just enjoys kicking people.


Oh great, this crap again! Another damned wild goose chase incoming.
"When has Leonard lead you us astray?"
You know... before. That whole thing with the ocean and the portal and... You know, with my sister.
"What on earth are you talking about? The goddess is with Inuart and we're in the same woods where Leonard joined us."
Yeah, well the woods don't look like they're burning to me.


"Is this the forest of the seal? The Empire has invaded. What shall we do?"
Don't worry, I have a plan!
"Don't tell me... Does it involve k-"
We are going...
TO KILL
EVERYONE!!!
"You know, the dramatic pauses don't really work when I'm the only one that can hear you."
I know... I was finally getting used to the no voice thing and now it feels like our pact just began yesterday all over again...
*sigh* Oh well, let's see if Lenny is right. I mean, what's the worst that could happen...?



Despite the fact that last verse was 95% like its previous incarnation, they did managed to sneak another weapon in there (in the exact same place we found the one here forever ago.)


This is pretty much the best you can hope for in this game's world. Hey, at least nobody died!

BONUS CONTENT:

Movies -
Lenny Fucks Up the Scene
New Game + Title Screen Voiceover