Part 35

Sorry for the big delay, but my computer's hardware was on the fritz and I had to use my internet-less laptop for a day or two.

1st Granite, 111, Early Spring

So some dick at Headshoots decided it would be a good idea to send me to engrave right under the drawbridge and then crush me for no reason. I was obviously enraged as fuck at this stupid stunt he pulled off, but luckily I was so furious at that time my spirit drifted away from my body and I became a ghost. So after all the assholes had run out of rulers for the year, I thought I could get a little revenge on Headshoots by playing overseer. Those assholes will regret what they did to my precious, dwarven body.

After some time wandering around the fortress getting myself comfortable, I have to say that this is one fucked-up fortress. There are exactly 99 dwarves living in this deserted hole of a fortress, and I can't see why. There are zombie skeletal imps skipping merrily with skeletal mountain goats shitting out fire on everything, skeletal naked mole dogs, crocodiles, unicorns, fucking troglodytes are roaming everywhere getting every chance they can to rip apart anything they see.

Good thing I'm a ghost


Right after I'm done recording the description down in my journal, a goblin thought it would be a good idea to take a sack and steal all the children left around.


Good thing we have hardcore dwarves that laugh at the face of death.

Meanwhile, I witness the mayor bursting with rage as he whines about his current quarters and demands a fucking new one. I would have placed him in front of the doomsday machine and set it off, but I was feeling generous so I thought "Why the fuck not."

As I was moving furniture around, I caught a gli-


God damn it.


RIP SirPenguin


The Headshoots army arrives...


... And promptly ruins the goblins shit.

Again, sorry for the delays, but my computer is freaking out for no reason, and I'm shocked that I can even run Dwarf Fortress at all.