The Let's Play Archive

Final Fantasy IX

by The White Dragon

Part 52: Racist About Dragons

The Saurus posted:

and random English Major () knowledge.

Linguistics

But its relationship to other fields of study is rather vague, I have noticed that folks like to umbrella it under whichever tangentially-related school they're most familiar with: English, Foreign Languages, Anthropology, and even Mathematics.


"the five-o came and cleared folks out is all"


"(They must possess incredible powers to accomplish such a feat.)"

Or a Phoenix Down.






that


that is not a fuckin dragon

(also a coming out of the closet joke)


Aww yeah, final showdown.




"Are you even listening to me, he went down the trunk. There is no up involved."


Oh now you're not even listening to yourself, you guys are hopeless.






"Hell no, I don't have Thievery yet. Besides, I sold all our potions to buy ten of each item so I don't run out of them for synthesis later on, I need a healer"




"Oh so you wanna get all platitudes on me now huh?"

"FINE"







Well he might be a jerk, but he is a badass jerk.

Plus it'll be useful to have someone around who can pick those two up when they cause too much trouble.




TO BATTLE


Is that... thing... wearing mascara?


Plus look at those feathery wings.


You know what kinds of dragons have feathers? Mexican dragons




protip: organizing your party right now doesn't mean shit








"I don't have the power to do such a thing. I just gave them a little recipe.
Begin with the broth of Mist, add fermented souls, and boil...
Then, pour genuine black magic into a mixing bowl and heat to--
"




"Again, I said FERMENTED souls, not 'dregs.'"


Come on where are your sick burns now? This is Basic Rudery, you should be pro at this


"Everything inside her! In her mouth! In--"
"Kuja"
"What"
"I am gonna kick your ass simply because that was the most disgusting mental image I have ever had"


"First Act: The End of the Ugly Desire. It's showtime!"


Who would make such a retarded-looking ship design


"You're all that stands between me and total domination!
Gehehe! But I haven't forgotten all you've done for me! In return, I will show you the ultimate power!
"




man if only i could tell MY mages to do that




"You're just the opening number. Time for the real show.
The Mist may be created no more, but it still lurks in caves and forests, right?
I can make monsters with magic! Come forth, spawn of the Mist!
"


So we fight some stuff. I didn't really screenshot it because it died so quickly.




I mean look at that thing. It's like if Kuja had sex with a pterodactyl




"Uhh, Holly? She extracted eidolons from you and started a war!"
"I still don't want her to die!"




well they say a little bit of shouting is indicative of a healthy relationship


"Um, yeah.
It's a long way down. You see that place with lots of roots? That's it.
"





But first

there is a Moogle hiding behind this tree here.


Stiltzkin
Shut up
Thanks


As you run down, you'll find yourself chased by these ugly motherfuckers. They are what we fought earlier, and they are called Mistodons. They are considered Undead.

If you keep moving down this root at top speed without stopping to check shit out, you'll only have to encounter one. Walk back up and you'll definitely see more.






Shouldn't you have known this as soon as you saw the statue? Come on lady haven't you ever played a Final Fantasy game before


"An eidolon who wipes out its enemies with a huge tidal wave! I'm sorry, Holly!"






"That insolent whelp! Now I can finish him off!"


what the fuck kind of incantation

are you telling a dragon to like blow a load or someshit









FWSHHHH


"THAT THING IS NOT A DRAGON"


"AND WHY ARE YOU WEARING MATCHING MASCARA"


"THAT IS UTTERLY INFURIATING"









"And now I shall do my Squall impression"




"Power, mobility... You are truly the best! You even hurt me... a little.
And you, Brahne... Your tragic role in this drama now comes to an end!
I'm sure you'll enjoy the second act from you soul's hellish prison, since the stage will be your former home!
The final act will take us away from Gaia, and I will kill my nemesis... with my own hand!
Hahaha! Everything is going according to plan.
"

Kuja is just so fantastically cackley.


WHAT IS THIS?


WHICH OF YOU BITCHES IS TRYING TO QUICKSCOPE GOD?!


I AM SO FUCKING ANGRY WITH ALL YOU CHEATING FUCKS RIGHT NOW




"no please no i had nothing to do with it i only play on this serverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"
















if you can't watch the youtube video, at this point you should be making the appropriate explosion BWFFFFSHHH onomatopoeias with your mouth






"Our work here is finished, Dragón de Plata. Well done, how about we celebrate with some Chipotlé? Or am I being insensitive?"


"But we found Queen Brahne on the beach, next to her escape pod."


"I hate Kuja a lot. I hate Brahne a lot, too...
... so much that I wanted this to happen to her.
I should be happy, but...
Once Holly started to cry, I didn't know how I should feel.
"








"Free... of that... terrible... greed...
I haven't... felt this way... since I saw that play... with you... and your father.
I led... Alexandria... down... the path... of ruin...
"


Can you imagine this scene done today? I can't imagine it done tastefully. They'd have a VA drink a lot of milk and have her do her best fat voice, and it would make you, the player, crack the fuck up.


"We also brought...
Holly's mother with us...
"






"How horrible that her life had to end this way."


"Will both of you please help me during this, my time of need?"




"The townspeople sent it as an offering for the queen's grave.
True, Queen Brahne had been acting quite erratic before her death...
... but the people are still very fond of her, as you can see.
"






"I know we needed to widen the mausoleum stairs for mother, but in retrospect it just makes things kind of comical"










"I wish the profile of the castle didn't have such titfuck imagery. You know, we'll probably be doing a lot of renovation under my rule."




PRETTY IN PINK