Part 8: Episode VII: Dukes of Midgar

Episode VII: Dukes of Midgar


Well, gee. I just don't know. There's just no way there could be a link between cries of agony from the direction of Midgar and a television broadcast of some nutjob saying he's going to murder everyone, seconds later. That'd just be silly.

A crash from the back of the camper interrupts Reeve's pondering...


No sense in asking the driver if he sees anything in the rear view mirror. No, Reeve Tuesti is a man of action.



"Where could that crash come fro-oh SHIT!"



Lucky for Reeve, Vincent is more of a 'shoot whatever might possibly be out the back of the door, ask questions later' type. Let's just be thankful it wasn't a nearsighted driver in a fender-bender.


"Should I know what those are?"
"An extremely minor random encounter found only outside Midgar."
"So, that is a 'no'."


I guess that whole random encounter thing isn't so silly when the native wildlife will attack a steel camper blasting through the wastelands going about sixty. Despite the apparent utter lack of food, to make them this desperate; there manages to be dozens upon dozens of the things.


"You'd think a group known as the 'World Regenesis Organization' would have a problem with slaughtering wildlife."
"So, do you have a problem with it?"
"That thing tried to kill me. Put a bullet in every last one of their foreheads. Have you seen all the monsters running about in the fields? We could do for a couple of extinctions. In fact..."


"That's fine, Reeve. I've got well enough footing he-"


"Oh... Oh, wow."


"Reeve, I've got to hand it to you. You know how to fill a dark soul with light."


Here we have the solitary Stage Mission of the area - Wildlife Genocide.


There's not much to say on this section. The chaingun controls exactly like Vincent normally does. Albeit stationary, of course. Going into first person gives Vinnie a much clearer view of what he's shooting. You even get to continue seeing the gun.


Normally, shooter-on-rails sections of FPS games are, in general, horrible. But, games usually have...you know...fun standard gameplay. So, having infinite ammo, ten bullets a second and droves of enemies that go down in a single hit is a welcome breath of fresh air.


Unfortunately, the relative fun is short lived. Vincent decides this isn't quite dramatic enough for his standard theatrics.


Instead, he decides to flip onto the roof for the duration of the action.


This part manages to make gunplay even less fun than usual. The entire strategy is more-or-less:

- Equip long-barrel Cerberus.
- Plink at groups of enemies.
- Cast the occasional fireball.
- Lose 100 HP whenever something lands on the roof for absolutely no reason.
- Wait for end of section.


Luckily, it doesn't last particularly long. We couldn't have too long without a cutscene, you see.


Since having a horde of mutant wolves chasing the solitary camper through the desert (why isn't the leader of this organization getting an escort) wasn't quite dramatic enough...it seems the bridge up ahead has been destroyed.


And the Guard Hounds are back in force.


They were going to escalate the peril a tad bit more, but managed to show remarkable restraint.


Also, fun fact: crashing full force into a wooden support beam using a vehicle which has no wheels?


Yeah, that'll get you a good thirty feet of air. I saw it on an episode of Mr. Wizard once. I'm as surprised as you are.


Also, canines seeing goths atop campers? Yeah... Thirty feet of air too. Science does not lie.


Instead of just aiming backwards and blasting the thing out of the air, Vincent sees it fit to let go of the camper for a more theatrical disposal of the pest.


Physics be damned. This is Cutscene Vincent Valentine we're dealing with.


All joking aside, I've really got to wonder what was going through the developer's mind who penned 'and then Vincent clung to the back of the camper trailer as it soared through the chasm.'

To do that with a straight face takes some kind of balls...or a severe mental condition.


The take-off might not have been spectacular but the landing could really use some work...

Special Feature:


Another stage, another bunch of unexplained references.


Guard Hounds

Guard Hounds are an extremely early game enemy from Final Fantasy VII. They primarily hang out at Mako Reactors alongside Shinra grunts. Their attack include a biting and whipping with the tentacle thinger on the back of their heads.


Tune in Next Time For:


Ambushes!


Silly Names!!


Hover Bikes!!!

Bonus Movies:

Vincent Likes Him Some Big Guns
Dukes of Midgar Away

Cutscenes Present: 3
Cutscenes Total: 30