Part 6

Sirs? You have an incoming transmission, sirs. Shall I put it through?
Ooh. Hold on. I want to savour this for a bit.
Savour what?
Someone else taking our calls for us. I've been waiting for this to happen.
...why?
Well, doesn't it make you feel all...I dunno. Executive?
...
Put it through, pilot. I need to talk to someone who isn't Tark'la for a while.



Hello, gentlemen! I hope you're both having a pleasant day.
I must say, you have a fine vessel. One of the finest I've seen. It would be a terrible shame if anything...
...befell it.
Er...yes. Yes it would.
Indeed. That's why I'm here today to talk to you about Voyager's Insurance. To put it simply, gentlemen, Voyager's Insurance is the first, last and only means of protection against the many, many dangers that shipping companies such as yourselves...
...will most certainly face.
Fortunately for you, it couldn't be simpler! You just pay us a small fee before setting out on a journey, and we will provide you with full compensation should you meet with any...
...misfortunes.
We have to buy insurance for every individual trip?
Oh, sir. It sounds so negative when you put it like that, doesn't it? We simply believe in allowing you, the customer, as much freedom as possible. No need to tie yourself down with long-term contracts. With Voyager's Insurance, you are always at liberty to decide whether you'll accept our protection, or take it upon yourselves to handle...
...unforeseen disasters.
...so...er...what kinds of things would we be insured against?
I'll forward you a copy of our brochure. It contains a full listing. But if you want a quick summary, we cover personal injury to you and your crew, lost, damaged or faulty cargo, breakdowns and fuel leaks, damage to your ship due to space or planetary hazards, damage by collision, and of course...
...damage by malicious intent.
Okay, let's just clear this up right now. Are we getting the shakedown here?
Not at all, sir! We at Voyager's Insurance would never dream of using threats, implied or otherwise, to ensure your...
...loyalty.
So what's with the dramatic pauses?
Oh. That. Please, try not to let it bother you. I'm afraid I have a slight...
...speech impediment.
Alright. We'll take you into consideration. Thanks.
My pleasure, sir. I sincerely hope you will become a regular customer of Voyager's Insurance. Good business to you both, and goodbye...
...for now.





Fifteen to fifteen thousand? The fuck is that about?
Well, there are a lot of things for them to think about. Local conditions, our accident record...I mean, obviously they have to base it on the chances of something happening to us. Of course it's going to vary.
That's still a hell of a range, Slev. I mean, fifteen kubars is what? If we're going next door to sell cookies?
Hey, the cookie trade's been fierce lately.



I hear there've been deaths.
Ah, whatever. Not like we're ever gonna buy it anyway.
Um. No. What? No. Why not?
Come on. Insurance is the universe's biggest scam. Nine times out of ten, nothing goes wrong and you're just giving them money for nothing.
...yes, and then the other time something does go wrong and they pay you back. That's the whole point.
Only after they strangle you with red tape.
Tark'la. Space travel is dangerous. We need to have some kind of coverage in case anything happens to us.
Oh, fine. I guess we'll be dropping about seven grand a week on insurance, then. I'm sure Zinn will think that's a fine excuse for all the money we aren't paying him.
...
You know, just because I'm forced to concede doesn't necessarily mean you're correct.
Still good enough for me.




Anyway, looks like it's Lava Lamps again this week. I wonder why there's so much demand for these things?
Actually, I've been meaning to say. We don't have to stick to one commodity at a time, do we?
Well...no, we don't. But Lava Lamps have got the biggest price range and they're going real cheap right now. They're the best choice.
Right, but there are only 81 tons. The ship can hold 110, so we'll have room for some other stuff. We might not get as much money for it, but as long as it's still a good deal...
True. Small profit's still better than nothing. Might as well fill it up.



See, now you're thinking! You're getting into it. I knew you would.
You'd be surprised what I can "get into" when the alternative is a trip to the ocean floor. In a sack.