The Let's Play Archive

Gazillionaire Deluxe

by Didja Redo

Part 13


Hey, I've been thinking. We should probably open a bank account soon.
...
What?
Please tell me that's a joke.
You think it's a bad idea?
Not at all. I think a bank account is a superb idea. That is why I kind of assumed we already had one.
Dude, you can't expect me to think of everything. We're supposed to be partners. If you have an idea for the company, you've gotta speak up about it.
I...you...I...
Alright. Yes. YES, we should open a bank account. Where have you been keeping our money all this time anyway?
Piggybank.






What?
Let's just go and do this before my blood pressure gets any higher.



Alright, gentlemen. Your new business account is now open and ready for use. I take it you'll be wanting to deposit all your funds right away?
Will we?
It's the only sensible thing to do, sir. We offer 1% weekly interest on all business accounts. If it's not in the bank, it's not earning you anything.
So...you're saying there's no point in not dropping all our money in the bank before the end of the week, then.
Well, yes. That's exactly what I'm saying. You're simply depriving yourself of money if you don't do it.
Huh. Seems kinda silly, don't you think?
Why?
Well, it's not like it takes any effort to deposit cash. Couple of clicks and it's done. Almost seems like we should just get the interest automatically.
...how exactly would that work?
I dunno. I'm just saying, the whole thing seems a bit unnecessary.
Yes, but where would the interest come from if not from a bank?
I don't know, okay?! Jesus, do I have to explain every little notion that pops into my head?



Alright! Finally a good chance to sell some Exotic. Let's-



What in the...what do you mean "No money"?!
It's all in the bank, remember? We'll have to take some out before we can spend it.
...
See, that's what I'm talking about. This is completely retarded.



Hello again.
We need to make a withdrawal.
Certainly. How much?
You know what? I don't know. 'Cause I forgot to actually make a note of how much we'd be spending.
...so, er...
So we'll take all of it. Everything in the account. And when we are done, we will come back here with our big pile of leftover cash and shovel it all back in again, because apparently that is how banking works in Kukubia
Ooh.



Right. Will that be the last hoop to jump through for today?
You're really inordinately unhappy about this.





Incoming transmission, sirs.



This is Slev, Tark'la and Sons. How can we...
...oh god.
Oh god!
What? What's the matter?
That's Lady Shimmer! We're getting a call from Lady Shimmer!
Oh, yeah. I think I've heard of her. That dancer, right?
"That dancer"?! What is wrong with you?!
I'm sorry about him, Ms. Shimmer. He's just impossible sometimes. No appreciation for art at all.
Am I speaking to a fan?
Yes! Geez, you have no idea. I have every single one of your...
...
Er.
Pin-ups?
Portraits. I have every single one of your portraits.
That's great, hon. Anyway, let me tell you why I called. See, I was on my way to meet with Emperor Nicolson? He's such a sweetie-pie. Have you met him?
Er, not, not recently, no.






Or...ever.
Mm. Well, I'm supposed to be giving him a private performance tomorrow. Poor man just hasn't had the chance to unwind lately. But you know what's happened? My ship's gone and run out of gas, and now I'm stuck in space all by myself. I'd be really, really grateful if you could give me a lift to Loro.
You'll help me out, won't you?
You want to travel here? With us? On our ship?
That's the idea, honey.
Yes oh god yes a thousand times y-
Hold up. That's a little out of our way, isn't it? We've got 95 tons of Exotic here that really wants to get to Xeen, in case you'd forgo-
...
Hey, I'm just sayin'. It's gonna cost us.
I'll make it worth your while, boys. I promise.