Part 39

yo welcome back. first real update in a while, i apologize. i added some good old pointless shaking of the camera for good measure


if you didnt watch the video ill summarize it: i kill those ninja bitches easily on my first try because i am very good at this game


after stumbling around for about 15 minutes i find my way to this stairwell


only to find another ninja. great. luckily this is the last one here.


up here is another elevator


i know its hard to convey in images but holy shit this is the slowest elevator ever


you see the distance from the top of the elvator (top right) to the bottom (bottom left)? that ride took at least ten seconds.


these alien fucks arent so tough once you know their weakness: getting shot a lot


anyways after i kill all the monsters a door unlocks


Scientist: "I apologize, Mr Freeman, but I couldn't risk opening that door until I was sure you'd scoured the area. This is the last entrance to the Lambda complex. Every other has been sealed off to contain the invasion. When we realized that you might actually make it here, we drew straws to see who should stay behind to let you through. Obviously, I drew the short one. My colleagues are waiting at the tip of the Lambda reactor. Waiting for you, I mean. The reactor is shut down right now, but you can activate it on your way up. You'll have to flood the core anyway to get into the teleportation labs. You're not authorized to know about those, but I can see you already know a great deal more than any one man is supposed to."


"I mean. The reactor is shut down right now, but you can activate it on your way up."


you can activate it


FUUUUUCK YOOOOOOOOOU!!!!!!


fuck, man. i dont even give a shit anymore. i am god damn tired of turning on "generators" and "reactors" and shit


scan your eyes you dumb bitch


NOW i can kill him


fuckin faggot ass bitch. i hope you rot in hell running around turning on generators for the rest of eternity


check out this sweet glitch or whatever i found. wait until the scientest starts scanning his eyes, then shoot him in the head


the screen will go black like you've failed the mission, but no words will appear like normal. you should hear the eye-scanning sequence complete and the door open, but the screen will remain black for another 10-15 seconds


after a while the blackness disappears and you can continue on as normal. try it out for yourself!


another elevator. honestly, valve, couldn't you just have made stairs?


Scientist 2: "Were you in weapons research too? I built the gluon gun, but I just can't bring myself to use it on another living creature. You don't look as if you have any trouble killing things."


well first of all fuck you asshole, ill be sure to kill you in a second, but second of all what the FUCK is this thing? this doesnt look like a gun it looks like a vacuum cleaner


well i look like a queerwad holding it, lets see how it works


holy SHIT! this is AWESOME!


must... not... make... ghostbusters joke...


faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaantastic


another elevator? jesus shit valve this is like three in one update alone, we fuckin GET IT


it is also dull and uninteresting


yeeeeaaaaaaa mothafuckas


god this is awesome. they fucking EXPLODE after you use it on them. i cant get over how great this gun is


FUCK YEA!


FUCK YEA!


FUCK YEA!


...


FUCK YEA!


i should probably stop wasting ammo and running around like a jackass and actually move on


im an equal opportunity murderer


uh, i guess this is the right way. i dont really know


that definitely looks like a generator and/or reactor alright. but uh... how do I turn it on?


oh


auuuuuugh


Scientist 3: "Freeman, isn't it? You'll need to activate both pumps to flood the reactor, and then that access pipe down there will take you on to the core. Time is short."


know what else is short? YOUR DICK!


aw maaaaan, you got blood all over the diagram of the coolant system! way to go you fucking asshole scientists


since you can't climb ladders or swim, there is no possible way you could help me during this segment


which gives me another opportunity to try out my fabulous new glue gun or whatever


well join me next time as we venture to turn on the first pump.


i can already tell this is gonna be fun