Part 29: Drow aren't the only ones who talk too much

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Update #28: Drow aren't the only ones who talk too much

Last we left, our party was mercilessly slaughtering hordes of the undead in a surprisingly temperate part of the frozen north.

Good to see things are pretty much where we left them.

Truly, a vacation for Urggzob!
Warmth! Green grass!
No blimp crashes! ...this time.
Droves of undead monstrosities trying to kill and eat us.
Stop that, all of you. You sound like the worst travel agency ever.
I'm sure there's more to this place than just zombies and grass...something more going on, dudes.
I would think that you of all people would appreciate a place with plants.
Was that a jibe at my being a druid, or my alleged history of herbal supplement abuse?
Really, it works either way.


It's worth noting that Marty is laying WASTE here, equipped with the club of disruption as he is. I'd say he's one-shotting foes roughly half of the time he gets into a fight, and rarely has to actually KILL them.

Urggzob thinks the druid is cheating.
It's worth noting that you WON him that club. Remember the battle square.
Of course Urggzob remembers the battle square. Urggzob is the battle master.



It is a lucky thing for little spell orc that Urggzob has a high lightning tolerance.
Truly so. It's so hard to aim around you, what with you being COVERED in our foes most of the time.
Urggzob has been covered in worse things before.
Like jam? Tell me it's jam. I like jam.
Pip, don't ask. The rest of us really don't want to know.



Urggzob, you shouldn't run off like that, man. There's bound to be more of them.
Good!
Come on, man. Don't encourage the brute like that; he gets us into enough trouble as is.


Pictured is Marty accidentally killing a named enemy in one hit. Whoops.

Bah, no fair! Urggzob wants to FIGHT, not to watch little dead men give up when druid man tickles them!



Call me crazy, but I'm thinking the dead people really just...don't mesh so well with the whole valley here.
What is this? Interior decoration: Secluded Valley edition?
There's no excuse for poor taste, Clobby. I don't care WHERE it is.
Out of curiosity, what WOULD these baddies mesh with?
Hmm...they're mostly a sort of greenish-pastel color, and being zombies they'd really fit in any foggy, spooky atmosphere. I'm thinking that a few throw pillows, though, would--
You had to ask him, Kruskrak.
Apologies.

Our heroes step into the watchtower (or rather, Urggzob kicks the door down and storms in), only to be greeted by these two rather chatty fellows.

Yeah, that's the same guy we saw earlier in the ice fort.

Aaaaagh! Urggzob does not want to TALK to little annoying ranger man, Urggzob wants to CRUSH annoying ranger little man!
I can appreciate that, actually. These two are truly trying my patience. Perhaps once we've milked them for money, valuables, and information you can seek your short-sighted vengeance.
MANY things can be milked with proper application of Urggzob.
That conjures a number of disgusting images.
...Marty, I think you should see this, what Nathaniel's selling.



Well then. I've walked too far down this road to turn up the opportunity to keep going.
Surely so. But Marty...
I know. I'll keep it quiet around the others.
Thank you.




Aaagh!
Marty? Marty, are you alright?
I have become used to it. Do not worry.
What's going on over here?
This trinket no longer works for me...Clobberella, I believe you will benefit most from it.




Wow, that DOES feel weird. Still, nothing I haven't been training years for...thanks, Marty.
What's going on over here?
Let's abruptly go somewhere else and do something reckless!
Foo. I was hoping to get free shiny things like Clobby did.

We spend the next several minutes clearing the rest of the pass of the undead that plague it.


Good gracious. I actually HIT you with a fireball?
Agh! I must be a bit more disoriented than I thought...
Pah! Urggzob thinks fire makes a fighter stronger! Better! Crushier!
You would think that. You're wearing exploding armor.
Urggzob thinks it chafes in ways most delightful.


The previously sealed gate, behind which is the source of our zombies. We gird our loins, and sally forth.



The graveyard is cleared in a record amount of time. Still, it's nice that at least a few of the enemies give us experience; that's becoming the exception rather than the rule lately.

Good man Marty, you've been mighty quiet lately.
I am considering many things. Finding many truths.
...okay, you got me. What's the substance of choice this time?
The universe. What is, what is not. What may be. What will become.
Good lord, man. You're DEFINITELY more fun when I set you on fire.
Assuredly so.


Ahh, yes. This guy. At least we get to confront him rather promptly, compared to some bosses who taunt and then remain unseen for interminable periods of time.

Urggzob, you're doing a lot of the talking lately.
Urggzob has been trying to improve his public speaking.
I'm glad you're trying to better yourself, at least.
You people. When I talk and we get attacked, you yell at me. When Urggzob talks and we get attacked, you give him kudos.
But you're an asshole. Urggzob has a strange and undeniable charm.
With beard to match!
Pah!


The bad guy begins the fight by making a slew of henchmen appear suddenly.


Confusing, yes, but nothing we can't handle. Not surprisingly, Urggzob manages to get himself completely surrounded.



Hah, is a party! All of Urggzob's foes are invited!
I don't think there's enough alcohol for this to count as a party.
Good point! Let us drink!
By the gods, that's some impressive multi-tasking.
I was wondering what he was saving the wine for.


Urggzob has done much damage, as you can see, but I still have Kruskrack throw a resilient sphere on him just because it's closer than I like.

_{Oh, COME ON! Urggzob was moments away from crushing the boastful priest!}
Just being careful.
Here, I'll finish him.



_{Urggzob is not happy about this development.}
Tell you what: I'll buy you the next big axe we come across. How's that sound?
_{...fine. Urggzob is still going to pout, though.}
Aha, found his journal.



No wonder he wasn't more verbose before we killed him; he had everything written down for us.
What a thoughtful villain!

Leaving the glen, we stumble upon the abode of this ghost.

Foolishly, we speak to her. She proves to be as wordy as Jermsy and Nathaniel earlier, only in a more annoying format.


Well, that was fun. You got your fortune told by a nice ghost lady!
Hmh. I'm still disinclined to show her children any mercy because of that.
Urggzob approves of a "less talk more pain" policy. All this dialogue is beginning to wear thin.
Still, we've got some rewards to collect.



Naturally you're taking all the credit.
Let him, Clobberella. There are things more important than glory.
Yeah, I know that. I just like complaining about Heronius.
Let's see what he gave us...



Nice. Urggzob, how about you wear this?
As long as it makes crushing easier, faster, more violent, or more fashionable.
I knew there was hope for you!
Wow, I never thought I'd hear that last bit.



All well and good, but I need a bath. Off to Kuldahar, then?
We may as well, though you know what we will find there. Diversion. Distraction. Further roads to tread.
As long as they pay us, shower us with women, and sing my praises, I'm fine with that.
I hope I can make you see the truth. Soon.
Hm.

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Shorter update than I thought, this week. I usually base my sessions off of how many screenshots I take, but there was so much dialogue this time around it condensed more than I thought. Whoops. Anyhow, see y'all later.