The Let's Play Archive

Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus

by The Dark Id

Part 47: Episode XLV: Ruining the Moment




Episode XLV: Ruining the Moment


So we now go toe-to-toe with Nero the Sable. I like how none of the villains actually refer to themselves by their retarded codenames. I half suspect Reeve just made all of them up, just to be a dick.


In any case, Nero is...to put it lightly, ridiculously easy. His primary attack is dashing to a point on the map and shooting at Vincent.


It is of particular note that his metal 'wings' have an alternative function: they can dual-wield pistols. It doesn't particularly help his offensive or anything. It just makes his attack animation look even sillier and his character design as a whole just that much more retarded.

But it will get more retarded... Just you wait...


After taking a bit of damage, Nero calls forth his powers of darkness to...



...pull the old "split into three doppelgangers - which could the real one be?!' trick. Most recently featured in every video game series since the dawn of time.


If he had any more attacks, I didn't see them. As luck would have it, a jockstrap proves to be ineffective protection against bullets to the face.


Well, at least Nero was nice enough to lay down for a few seconds to give an ever so brief feeling that battle meant anything.



Well, this worked so well the first time. Why not give it another shot?

Meanwhile, in the darkness of infinite emo...


"Thank god..."


"...darn it."


They give damn good service.


What? You mean there's no zen-like willing yourself out of the abyss? You just can...walk out? Like, there's a neon exit side just off camera?


Huh... I guess so. Would have been nice if someone told all the redshirts that. What happened to those guys, anyway? Or Reeve? I liked Reeve.

Back in the slightly better lit side of Deepground...


Nero ponders to himself why he just didn't do that in the first place, before wandering off.


He is quickly interrupted by Vincent and Shelke emerging from the void. Well, Vincent emerges. Shelke just sort of flops out. You can see her foot in the bottom right from her faceplant.


For added fun, try saying aloud "Don't you understand?! My soul is wrought of terra corrupt!" without feeling like a total tool. Bonus points if you announce it to someone during the course of the day.


Yes... This was established twenty minutes ago... When it happened the first time... Can we get on with it!



"Get on your flapper dress, it's time to swing!"


"...?"
"..."
(Oh for crying out loud.)




"She does know the area is entrenched with snipers, correct?"




"Mmmm..."


"I'm thinking...no..."


"Very much not..."





"..."
"..."
"Holy shi--"




"He uhh... We're supposed to watch Two and a Half Men in a hour so yeaaah... I should probably go..."


"I uhh... Guess I'll take a mulligan on the whole climactic battle thing... Yeah..."

Nero vanishes into the void.


"God these pants are chaffing like crazy."

Vincent rushes to Shelke's side.


"I... I don't know... Maybe..."




"Unfortunately, it seems I was..."




"I think I am just going to go ahead and go back to sleep."
"I hate my game."


And that does it for that horrible stage.


I like how nearly 18,000 damage sustained by a character who only has slightly over 2,000 HP qualifies as an 'A'. There might be something off with this picture...


Looks like I failed to destroy one of those villainous mine carts. Surely, Deepground's conquest is sealed now. Err...they were conquering something, right? I forget. Did we ever get an established plan for these chucklefucks beyond vaguely ending the world by kidnapping people in order to kill them later on anyway?


"It's like some arbitrary number has suddenly made my bullets shoot harder."

Tune in Next Time For:


Baths!


Emo!! + Pussing out!!!

Bonus Content:

Stage 11 Outro

Number of Cutscenes: 3
Total Cutscenes: 173