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Chroanopol seems to have bailed on us, so I'm going to go ahead and take over for now. If he wants to get back in the game, no skin off my nose.

Part 1: I Don't Care What You Think, Quistis Is Fucking Hot

I think Robert is a good name for a hero. OK?

One might say he is a loose cannon. A renegade. A maverick, if you will.

Seifer and Quistis. What weird names. Not like reliable ol' Bob here.

Oh ho ho, who's this, I wonder? Rob's met her before. Probably at a party. Or a frat panty raid.

Never mind, she's going away.

Suddenly a slamming hottie walks in, proceeds to have a little orgasm, and smiles.

Oh shit. Robert was so busy getting his head sliced open that he forgot to revise.

This bitch better not be talking about the scar. That's not even fucking funny.

Go ahead bitch, play the jinx game. Lucky I don't have to talk to punch you in the mouth.

(Note: this will NEVER happen, ever.)

Oh ho, we're double-funny! Say goodbye to your teeth!

SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER

Class! Slamming hottie is Robert's teacher. Wooo. But wait. Shit, shit shit. I didn't revise. I'm going to fail. Not good.

Ah ha. If the adult channel has taught me anything, this is going to end in sex.

I like where this is goin'.

Also, Trepe. Hahahahahaha.

...maybe the sex isn't such a good idea.

Well, sacrifices must be made, I guess. But first, Robert wants to check his PC to make sure there are no monsters lurking in there.

Robert is a lazy, lazy man.

Oh yeah, I forgot. I can summon gods to fight for me. It's a great skill to have.

OK, so what shall I call them?

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