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Chapter 2: Furries!
Looks like everyone got busted. Shit. Oh well. Zell will enjoy prison, I think.
Haha, Zell got to be the janitor. Great stuff.
Don't you even pay attention to Robert? Thinking about it is a waste of time!
As is discussing it with Zell, who's about as sharp as a pebble.
So yeah, this is one of my favourite scenes in the game. Some guards come in and Zell runs his mouth off, so they smackjack him and kick him repeatedly while he lies on the floor. The reason you guys aren't seeing an animated .gif is that Fraps wasn't fast enough 
They take Worf off somewhere, and - this is great - Zell gets kicked again for speaking.
Meanwhile, Robert's been taken into solitary.
Remind me, Seifer - who passed the SeeD exam first time round here? And which one of us got the shit beaten out of them in front of the entire population of Deling City? It must really suck to be outed as a weakling in the middle of a parade.
Pfft. Torture. It's OK, Robert's in enough emotional pain (on the inside) that he won't notice a couple of tera-amps coursing through him.
And yeah, haha, Seifer. You don't even know what SeeD is. Nobody will tell you because you sucked at the exam.
Well, it's not a secret exactly, it's that videotape of you and Raijin getting drunk on prom night. Pretty kinky, ya know?
Zell! Do it to Zell, and for crying out loud take pictures.
Ominous!
This little guy is a Moomba. He brought us food, then tripped over, so a guard got angry with him. Sure, that works. So Zell stood up to him, and regrettably didn't get kicked again.
Why can't we ever meet any sweet, sensitive prison guards?
Oh NO! I must warn Xu! And that librarian chick. And, uh... Nurse Kadowaki. Yeah, you heard me.
You'd think I'd be scared, but... meh.
... 
Swish, Robert. That's absolutely fucking watertight.
Yeah, that's good. And hell, if you don't make it back, we've solved an even bigger problem.
Zell opens the Book Of Tricks ('sorted by date' Edition), and picks the first entry.
Sucker punch. Ho ho ho.
It's like that old Special Olympics joke. Even if Zell wins, he's still retarded.
Back in that ol' cell...
Biggs and Wedge! Yay, hey guys. What's that? You're going to teach us a lesson? Show us who's boss, maybe?
KAPOW. Fred, Daphne and Velma lay the smack down on Wigs and Badge.
Biggs carries Regen, so I blinded and silenced him and got 300 of them from his ineffective ass. Better HP junction than Curaga, and now everybody has a great Vitality stat. We're pretty much unstoppable at this point.
Ladies and gentlemen, Zell "Master Plan" Dincht.
Oh, god, whatever will we do?
That was pretty easy. There weren't even any guards. What the hell kind of prison is this?
Stick to the plan, guys!
Hmm. I wonder why this animal recognises Laguna on... oh, never mind.
How the hell does Robert know that, being that he's only experienced the inside of the cell? I mean, this thing could be a stun gas distributor.
Hahaha. Even the girls hate Zell.
Let's head to the ground floor to find the exit!
Oh, shit.
It'd be funnier if the guards had just piled up sand outside the door to mindfuck escaping prisoners.
Suddenly there is a noise.
Hooray!
No! It could be dangerous! We must stay here where it's safe, and build sandcastles!
It's like Christmas.
I accidentally deleted the shot of Robert dispatching this guy, so here's Zell trying to give thanks. Eeew.
As Hot Tits and Kawaii arrive, we're pinned down by gunfire. How will Robert and pals escape this little fix? Tune in next time to find out!
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