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Chapter 5: Does Whatever A Spider Can
After saving the world from whatever Wigs and Badge were planning to beam out of that tower (terahertz beams), we vacate the tower...
Oh my. I think we hit him in the head too hard, he's gone wacko.
Wait, shit, he hasn't. He's sent a giant robot spider after us. They can build this technology, but they haven't figured out how to make a gun or sword or gun-sword that can kill a man in one stabslice.
For maximum effect, the next section requires that I convey it in a different format.
oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit
"ROBERT! IT CAN'T SEE YOU IF YOU STAND STILL PROBABLY!"
activating "kill all humans" subroutines
10 MURDER
20 GOTO 10
This is Robert's "I'm boned" face. It's funny because it is the face he makes for both types of boning.
Is that...?
It is! It's a hot chick with a mounted machine gun!
NUH-UH-UH-UH-UH-UH-UH-UH (machine gun noise)
EXPLODE!
That is hot.
When we get home, that cockjerk Seifer makes off with our vehicle. This is fine because it is actually a thirty second walk. Mind, while we've got the excuse to goof off...
...we can go to the only place of any significance in Balamb, which is Zell's house. He won't let us go up into his room, but that is fine because we don't really care anyway.
And here's Robert playing an hysterical trick on himself.
Back at base camp, Zell suddenly remembers he was supposed to go to the Extra Chromosome club meet. It's where the party would have been at.
That's a pretty weird fetish. I think I won a bunch of cards off this guy, but I can't quite remember because this was years back.
Of course I did.
Haha. The funny thing about this is that at first glance it seems like Seifer is a hard-ass who has no time for other people, you know, like House or something. But when it comes down to it he's just a complete faggot who wants to be thought of like that. No wonder he only has two friends and they're both weird.
Case in point.
Zell is a SeeD. He's the first to be announced as accepted, which can only mean they're going from lowest accepted score upwards.
No-nonsense mercenary.
"Jones". How hard is it to pronounce "Jones"?
Seifer didn't get in again. Hahaha.
"...why are you whispering, Sir?"
What the heck is Zell doing? The "I passed but also am about to shit my pants" dance?
Next time on LPFFVIII, I cover the celebratory Vegas weekend.
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