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Chapter Train: All Aboard The Inconsistent Express
Time to plan our mission.
Watts is like the little brother who hangs around Mom when she yells at you, saying "Yeah!" like he's hot shit.
To explain our mission a little more thoroughly, Worf and Zone have constructed a model railway to show us. Let's play with trains!
Basically, we're going to attempt to steal the President by disconnecting his car from the rest of the train and attaching it to our own, replacing their car with our own fake car with a fake president, hoping all the while that the train passengers don't notice the buffeting, the speed fluctuations (thanks, Newton's 2nd) nor the thumping of footsteps on the roof. We also hope that nobody notices that the "president" has suddenly become a mannequin. God damn this plan sucks.
Party! I vote we have a strip poker party.
Oh come on. We're travelling at a hundred miles an hour and our clothes aren't even billowing in the wind. This is the fake Presidential car. To fool onlookers, we've even painted "The President's Private Train" on the side.
We disconnect the car pretty easily -
And steal it with our own train. I'd like to think that were the President privy to this plan, he would choose to come on this awesome fucking train.
I sure hope nobody's looking out the window on the real train or this could get pretty hairy.
No, we got away scot-free. Also, Watts is so far in the closet he's dancing with Fauns.
Time to go confront President whatsit.
Oh. He's going to beat the shit out of us.
I TOLD you this was a stupid idea, Worf.
SWWWWOOOOOSSSSH! It's battle time!
He just wants hugs, guys, it's OK. WAIL ON HIM!
Haha, sucks to be him.
Oh no...
The President is actually The Thing. You can tell the Galbadians are bad guys because they hire undead monsters to be body doubles.
Since he's undead, throwing a Phoenix Down at him kills him stone dead. Wait... shouldn't that bring him back to life, since that's what it does to dead people?
I can't believe how much fucking research you didn't do, Zone.
Well, why shouldn't he? Isn't today the State Of The Union address?
No! No! He's going to give TV to... POOR PEOPLE! That monster!
"Remember, if we lose, it's Will and Grace 24/7. Nothing in the history of the planet has been as important as this."
Golly, that sure would be corking. Spiffing, even.
"Zone's wet his pants again."
Robert didn't think to check this before. I mean, these guys could be working to assassinate Cid. Nobody in FF8 knows ANYTHING.
Oh, for FUCK's sake.
"......."
"Hey guys. I have the most AWESOME idea."
We also find (or buy, I forget which) a copy of Pet Pals for Worf's dog.
AUUUUGH
Now, where the nibble do we find Timber Maniacs?
Oh, there it is. Behind it is the pub that leads to the TV station.
Nice place if you're into decrepit places and personally I am.
Our intrepid heroes are ready to STOP THE PRESIDENT FROM BEING ALLOWED ON TV.
Next time: We either win or lose.
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