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Chapter 3: I'm not going to 'abadon' Worf, lol
Previously on 24:
The following takes place between 33:00 and 34:00.
That sucks. Centra's all peninsulas and inlets, we'll be looking for years.
Oh. Well I guess we were only looking for about thirty seconds.
"Honest, we're good guys. Hand her over."
Jerks.
Oh god.
Son of a bitch. It's Pisspants McGee and his friend Gay Yellow Life-Preserver Man. Didn't we leave you guys to be slaughtered in Timber?
Haha. There's a funny story behind that actually.
Haha, look who's finally growing some testicles! They're almost as big as Zell's, which is to say they are almost visible with an optical microscope.
Yeah. She has some kind of status condition that makes her cold, lifeless and floppy. Much like your penises.
Evil force? Oh no! WE NEED DINOSAUR POWER, NOW!
SeeD. Elite organisation of mercenaries, heroes, and pornography dealers.
Zone gave me the Shiva card and a Rename Card, which I used to call Ifrit Burnard. I also won the Angelo card from Watts. It is unforgivably not the Vaginal Card. What's in YOUR wallet?
Yes. We were not lying to you.
I remember her when I'm jacking off. Yeah I said it.
DAMMIT! WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME
TELL ME WHERE ELLONE IS
"Hey, soldier guys. Where the party at?"
She's probably in Esthar already letting Sorceress Adel do body shots off of her.
Full ahead for Esthar, then.
"Guess what bitch, I don't care. Esthar."
Garden can't fly around Esthar so basically we need to walk from Fisherman's Horizon. Sucks.
In response, Worf stares vacantly. Her tongue lolls out of her mouth and a maggot falls out of her sleeve.
"Well, technically, you won't. But I will, and I will have at least some of you with me."
It's totally not worth the walk.
Yes. In the three hours or so between the end of Disc 2 and the beginning of Disc 3 you did a whole 180.
You're kidding.
We hate it too.
Worf agrees to keep it a secret by emitting a loud BANG as the gases produced by bacterial decomposition inside her body reach critical pressure and escape by blowing her navel open.
Edea's lies are getting pretty transparent. "I'm not a sorceress and I don't want to kill you or anything. Let's all go get lost."
That said Robert is a sucker for cleavage and will do anything she asks.
Note that you can have Edea in your party here, but she is rubbish, Level 20, and doesn't have any sorceress powers at all.
We're lost, hooray.
Literally two minutes after the first opportunity, the game makes you choose your party again, in case you have changed your mind during the ten lines of dialogue.
Apart from all the bones and creepy ground-hands, this place is quiet and dreary-
-what the fuck is that?!
It's Abadon. He's an undead whatsit, like President Nobody of the Galbadian non-empire. I think you can chuck a Phoenix Down at him to kill him but there isn't much point because a) that would be a waste of an item and b) nobody has Item junctioned for some reason.
WE NEED JESUS POWER, NOW!
Alexander doesn't kill him or anything but I wanted to drop in a Power Rangers reference again.
He's weak against curative magic, so I guess it's a stupid idea for him to be carrying Curaga. I was kind of bored so I just cast Regen on him and waited to see which of us would die first.
We won.
Did anyone bring a map or something? That might have helped.
"Huuuuuh", observed Worf as her diaphragm gave way and allowed her lungs to move downwards slightly inside her body, applying pressure and expelling air through her rigid, decaying larynx.
Onwards to Esthar, intrepid heroes!
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