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Chapter 10: That Bit At The End Of Star Trek: Nemesis
While chilling near Winhill with Enc-None on, as is my favourite way to relax, we saw this. I wonder what it could be?
God damn it, I didn't even get to see Edea's house.
Oh god.
Before reading any further, start playing an mp3 of The Final Countdown by Europe.
Dammit. I sure hope Headmaster Sly Boots put my Ifrit card somewhere safe. It's 3 useless Elem Atks, I know, but it's the principle of the thing.
No, fuckshoes, because you're already here.
"We will call these teams 'Team Hetero', and 'Team Zell'." Guess who's on guard duty?
Yeah, like we're going to let you make tactical decisions after you nearly destroyed Garden twice. Your duty is important, though, Zell. I want you to go to wherever the Galbadians are invading, flip them all the bird and make disparaging remarks about their mothers. I don't think you'll be needing GFs.
Not in a million years.
What the fuck?
stop shouting you fucking mongoloid
I think we established that that's just not on the cards.
Meanwhile:
Instead of doing something useful, Seifer stands on the bow of Galbadia Garden where nobody important can see him.
Oh, except Nida, who is a robot.
Why doesn't Balamb Garden have any of this stuff? We're not even allowed T-Boards, or Z-Boards, or whatever they are.
Robert's ring. I guess anything is better than letting Zell hold it.
Suddenly we get rammed by Galbadia Garden.
The quad crumbles away...
...taking Worf with it.
Shit. I hope she didn't drop the ring. That was a kickass ring.
This is kind of like that bit in Last Crusade, except that nobody would really care if Worf fell, and Indy has been replaced with a complete fuckwit.
This is a lie.
"No time to celebrate, cry-baby-Ze-ll. Go fight some T-Rexaurs while we worry about this stuff."
"Look, guys, I'm as happy as you are, but there are SERIOUS HAPPENINGS happening."
ZELL FUCK OFF
YES! LIKE I SAID, HOORAY, BUT WE WILL HAVE TO DELAY THE PARTY
o shit
AAAAAAGGGGHHHH
Rocket soldiers. We're fucked. All we have is whiny little kids.
Oh, and an ancient Norse god.
That's almost as stupid as "it must be the GFs". Shut up, Irvine.
This is stupid. This whole plan is stupid.
RAMMING SPEED
He-thinks-he-knows-exactly-what-we're-going-to-do!
Moral of the story - don't help children.
Oh, so THAT's what the emergency exit is for. Being knocked out of.
This is the stupidest minigame ever. It's like rock, paper, scissors, but imagine that paper can't even beat rock. Oh, and paper also flakes out and doesn't work sometimes, but only if you're the player.
I win anyway.
"WORF, DO YOU STILL HAVE THE RING"
"yes"
"OK! GRAB ON"
We get dropped into the most awesome FMV in the game.
Awesome.
"If it was me, I would have left you to die. Honestly, that's not a joke. It took them ten minutes to convince me. No, I'm not being cute, shut up, I was going to leave you there to rot and pick up the ring off your decaying corpse."
"The ring was the deciding factor, by the way."
Sure it does.
Haha, yeah, I'm sure they would. And that's exactly what you want. You aren't hiding it very well, or at all.
IT'S THE FINAL COUNTDOWN
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