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Chapter 6: A Race In Space Takes Place
We left our questionable heroes blasting into space after being shot out of a space-gun.
We're headed for this giant mysterious space station, shrouded in mystery. Nobody knows what it's for. Well, at least we don't.
Ah, alright, I guess it's where they hold Adel captive because she's all bitchy with the powers.
The perfect time for a little zero-G necrophilia.
No! Why does everybody keep saying that? Just because her heart stopped and she's cold doesn't mean she's dead! She's... in a magical coma!
You can't fool me. That's a coffin.
Here's Adel. I don't know why she's so weird-looking. All the other sorceresses in the game are hot and big-breasted. Except for Worf, who's flat. Like two fried eggs.
No time for pleasantries.
"...thus creating a paradox in which I have no reason to go back in time and save her and thus she still gets killed and time loops forever and ever. OH GOD"
Oh, I get it. You'll only put out for your friends. Shallow bitch.
I honestly don't remember that lesson.
Like there isn't enough shit going on.
Time to go have Ellone save Worf.
Oh shit. I KNEW it was a mistake to bring Worf up into the grasp of another evil sorceress. I would have said something, but two minutes after someone suggested the idea we were already in space.
Oh dear.
Remind me to slap the fuck out of Odine when we get back down to... uh, Earth? Is it Earth? Gaia? Terra?
Maybe she's just sleepwalking, did you guys think of that?
She doesn't even know how to use a spacesuit. We're fine.
Right on dramatic time, the Lunar Cry begins.
There's a shitload of monsters around. Blue Dragons, Gaylas, everything.
Monster lump.
And with a little help from no law of physics, they shoot down to... uh, don't tell me... Spira?
I gots to go stop Worf!
Robert looks snazzy in a space suit.
However, he moves like a slug and misses Worf completely, so he has to go back inside.
Adel is freed. Top work, Robert. Her capsule thing is swept up in the Lunar Cry and carried down to... the Planet.
What Robert doesn't know is that Worf was raped by her uncle when she was a kid. He's about to get a fun surprise!
Ellone uses her majick powers as the capsule blasts off.
Ellone, you suck. This is way too long ago.
Sorry isn't going to cut it.
Oh, so THAT'S what happened. ...Meh.
No. You're useless, Ellone.
"I have to go out there, because YOU fucked up."
This is such bullshit.
Worf is going to die! Yay!
That's right, you're going to suffocate, and it will HURT.
Hahahahahahahaha.
That's what I'm sayin'.
I don't know why but the name 'Worf' makes this scene even funnier.
Worf's breaths get shallower and shallower, and...
... she dies! HUZZAH!
Wait, what... fuck!
...she still has the ring? Now I'm PISSED.
Hooray!
...alright, that's a game over screen. I just wanted you guys to be happy.
Now I have to play an incredibly stupid minigame in which I 'catch' Worf by facing her for a minute.
God dammit.
Shut up. 
Maybe there's a chance I can kill Worf after all.
What the hell is that thing?
It's a space ship!
Yeah, you better be thankful. Thankful in the 'totally organic experience' kind of way.
What the... a HUG? That's ALL? Get the fuck out of here.
"If you want to live, don't hug me."
And without so much as a light embrace, we enter the ship.
BUT THE DANGER IS NOT OVER DUN DUN DUNNNNN
How will Robert and Worf escape this little dilemma? Find out next time, only on Final Fantasy 8!
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