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Chapter 9: Fuck Humanity, Robert Horny
Mistake number one, dumbass soldier!
You'd think so, wouldn't you, except the guys you have guarding the door just let us in, no questions.
Lies. She's not even been sealed properly yet. I should kill you just for lying to me.
MAKE WAY, INNOCENTS
They can make entire cities disappear off the face of the planet, but when it comes to sorceresses, the best they can come up with is the set from Stargate SG-1 and two big sheets of saran wrap.
McSlice!
They're in love. Which is sort of weird because in the entire 35 hours they've known each other they've said about a hundred words to each other. Robert's played cards with Dr. Kadowaki more than that.
Four soldiers. You Esthar guys not only never learn, you deliberately go out of your way to forget things and be silly.
oh look i wonder who that could be
Well, yeah. That's Ward.
The only way we can defeat Ultimecia is by being happy and not thinking about things. Thusly I propose that Selphie is the new team leader.
trains trains trains, trains trains WHAT shut up Worf. trains trains trains, i love trains, hehehehe! WHOO WHOO! Trains! Where we goin'? Lalalala!
Whipped. God dammit Robert.
Irvine got beaten up by a girl. A Level 12 girl.
Uh. She's not even here, guy.
Deep thoughts.
If it was about some idiot named Laguna then we're way ahead of you.
...WHAT? Seriously, I've had enough of your shit, Worf. I don't give a shit about whether you had a scary dream about how I couldn't be bothered to hang around with you. I realise that that must be torture for Princess I-Need-Attention-All-The-Fucking-Time, but you're going to have to sit your dumb ass down in the Ragnarok and accept that I don't care. Your mother was an attention-whoring cocktease too. No more running around and fucking things up while we're saving the world. You fucked up assassination attempts on Edea TWICE. You released another sorceress unto Esthaaaaaooh fuck, aneurism.
..with a gun.
CAPTAIN SHITPANTS! I was just focusing all my ranting energy onto Worf but if you want to take some on, be my guest. YOU'RE EIGHTEEN YEARS OLD STOP SAYING "WHOA" AND "OHHHHH YEEEAAAAHHHHH" AND ALSO YOU DRESS LIKE A CUNT AND DRAW ON YOURSELF WITH A SHARPIE
No.
Just because he kept shouting about how gay you are does not automatically make him Kiros. It makes you gay.
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