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Chapter 4: The Worst Sorceress In The World

This is Ultimecia.

She prefers to sit in a really high chair, which is always a sign that someone is trying to look important and hence failing.

She also knows the rule of three. She clearly went to some kind of politician class.

I always wonder how she manages to pronounce a 'k' instead of a C. Oh well.

Actually, this works for me. I've always liked dominatrixes. Dominatrices. Hot women in leather.

You can't do the dimension thing by exterminating us first, think about it.

Who do you think she picked? Selphie, Zell, and Worf.

The funny thing about Ultimecia is that she scales her level up and down depending on the characters she picks herself. Hence:

Level 13.

Selphie was first to die in vain...

Substituted by Robert, who immediately gets down to the one thing for which we have all been waiting all game.

EAT IT, YOU INFURIATING LITTLE SHIT

Worf is next to go, and suddenly the team is on top form.

OW! OW, THAT REALLY HURTS, STOP IT

With 11800 health, Ultimecia submits to two physical attacks.

Oh, right. You want to take the sissy way out.

Who're you calling a canteloupe, ya melon head?

Mr. Belding is Level 65, which presents slightly more of a challenge. As in, I will one-hit him by a slightly lesser factor.

I have quite a few Aura spells left.

SUCK IT, BELDING

...wow, looks like I completely misunderstood the junction system.

Another Lion Heart! Wow. Ultibelding is even easier than plain old Mr. Belding, since heshe doesn't even get a spell it.

Both Ultimecia and Mr. Belding have been felled. Hooray! We won!

Oh shit.

HAHAHAHAHAHA what the FUCK

Haha, ok, I don't wanna sleep with you any more.

"YOU WILL SLEEP WITH ME... FOREVER"

The final boss deserves to be beaten with some style. I had Irvine cast Meltdown, because style is directly proportional to speed and power.

Ultimecia has an awesomely beneficial attack called Hell's Judgement, which brings your entire party to 1HP. It is quite possibly the worst thing she could do to herself.

First things first - let's even the odds.

As Quistis and Irvine are both permanently destroyed by their own weapons, Robert tops up his Aura. I know I've got the speed to win this fight, but I'm now relying on that jumped-up Luck stat of mine. There's no way to beat Ultimecia without sustaining damage, because after a certain amount of HP lost she casts Apocalypse. Only pansies voluntarily use curative magic, though.