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i can never think of anything good to say to start an update god damnit

at this point in the game corpses tend to disappear very quickly after you kill an enemy which makes me sad because i cannot beat on dead bodies anymore which was one of my favorite parts of the game 

i love soda. i can even press the buttons on the machine and cans come out

BUT GORDAN REFUSES TO DRINK THE GOSH DARN SODA

drink THIS

semper fi bitch. wait what?

OH SNAP

hooray generic looking green soda. i hope it is surge.

i have to remember this trick in real life

hm i see a laser trip wire, a dead scienceman, and turrets. i may not be the brightest bulb in the drawer but even i can figure this one out

I swiftly jump over the laser like a swift brown fox jumps over a lazy dog

HOLY SHIT YOU GOD DAMN IDIOT YOURE RUINING THE PLAN

fuck. at least his dumb ass got blown up

great now i got 2 turrets up my ass that i gotta take care of

luckily i can hide behind these metal barrels for cover

GOD DAMNIT BITCH ARE YOU SHITTING ME. well at least the explosion takes out the turrets so i can take care of that problem easily now.

great more lasers, i thought this was halflife2 not star's wars

in case of fire break glass

okay lol

hahaha oh god damnit. i kinda really needed to get through there. fuck me i have to load a previous save now.

time to go mission impossible on these bitch ass lasers

DOO DOO doo doo DOO DOO doo doo doo

DOO doo doooooooo doo doo dooooo doo doo

doo doo doot DOOOOO doo doo doo

haha check that shit out made it past without touching a single laser

SHIT I DIDN'T MEAN TO LET GO OF THE CROUCH BUTTON

god damn bullshit

well shit if you think im even going to bother trying to dodge lasers with wet floor you can think again

FUCKING TURRETS oh shit this floor is more slippery than i thought it would be

FUCKING OPEN ELEVATOR SHAFTS

oh no the turret is killing the scientists before i can!

haha i managed to save one. dont worry buddy your safe with me

okay stand right there


crouching will only delay the inevitable

HAHA oh man look at his organs fly

oh man that was worth having to reload a previous save.
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