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welcome back to sexy gordon's adventures. who knows what will be in store this update. action? comedy? romance? more faggy soldiers? it is a mystery


after ditching the stupid tram you have to go down this long ass ladder


wow. this does not look like a good situation to be in.


god damn bitch why do you make me put up with this shit? the zombies are not scary anymore and theyre retardedly easy


look at this shit. do you see how fucking far away from those exploding cameras i am?


but if i shoot them i still die. that makes a lot of sense. NOT!!!!!!!!!


one thing the grenades are actually useful for is taking out the turrets


well so much for that finding an elevator for my previous tram theory


down the hall is another one of the fucking turrets which are nearly impossible to get a good picture of because they do so much damage that you die before you can snap a good one


god damn i hate you so fucking much


i overhear some soldiers gossiping like WOMEN.


Marine 1: "So, who is this guy, Freeman?"
Marine 2: "They say he was at ground zero."
Marine 1: "Science team... You think he was responsible? Sabotage, maybe?"
Marine 2: "Yeah, maybe. All I know for sure is he's been killing my buddies."
Marine 1: "Oh yeah, he'll pay. He will definitely pay."













eat my piss


it took me a long time to figure out why this health pack is glowing such a disgusting greenish yellow color. Then I realized it's supposed to be the MOONLIGHT


yes, this is actually nighttime.


i have to go through some blast doors. what could be on the other side of here that requires blast doors?


wow. i dont get it lol.


getting up these stairs was a bitch and a half. those lasers arent attached to turrets theyre attached to a RIDICULOUS AMOUNT OF EXPLOSIVES


"I didn't sign on for this shit. Monsters, sure, but civilians? Who ordered this operation anyway?" awwww look guys this marine has a conscience. maybe not all marines are just mindless evil killers. maybe i should be nice to him for a change.


OR I COULD JUST BLOW HIM TO FUCKING SMITHEREENS


YEAH YOU LITTLE FUCKING BITCH DO YOU LIKE BEING DEAD YOU DUMB CUNT? HOW THE FUCK DO YOU LIKE THAT?


HOW DO YOU LIKE IT WHEN GORDON RAPES YOUR BITCH ASS? YOU LIKE THAT YOU DEAD SON OF A FUCKING CUNT BITCH? BURN IN HELL YOU FUCKER.


anyways this room has a lot of science in it. nothing important in here.


theres some controls to something in here. i dunno.


i cant tell what the fuck thats supposed to say. laundry? lunch? well i am pretty hungry i could go for some lunch. ill press the button.


all of a sudden these blast thingies shut over the windows and i hear a rumbling sound. what the hell is going on outside?


HOLY SHIT ITS THE FUCKING SPACESHIP. HOLY SHIT. ITS FUCKING LAUNCHING INTO FUCKIGN SPACE HOLY CUNTDICK THAT IS SO COOL


If I leave here tomorrow


Would you still remember me


For I must be traveling on now


There's too many places I gotta see


And if I stay here with you girl


Things just wouldn't be the same


For I'm as free as a bird now


And this bird you cannot change


fuck yes spaceships are the best. god bless america.


im pumped. lets go kill some bitches.


for some reason the rocket taking off caused these big ass doors to open. dont mind the fact im taking damage in the picture thats just some dickbutt sniper ruining my picture AGAIN


this looks familiar


not another fucking tr-- wait a second what the hell? this one is different. its big and red. i wonder whats different about it


oh okay thats wahts different. IT GOES A MILLION FUCKING MILES PER HOUR HOLY SHIT SLOW THE FUCK DOWN


finally the shittyness of "on a rail" is over


SHIT BITCH SLOW DOWN


HOLY FUCK


OH GOD IM FALLING I DONT KNOW WHATS HAPPENING BAIL OUT BAIL OUT


jesus christ. i land in a bigass pool of water which saves me from dying on impact


great. a water level. remember when i said that stuff about "the shittyness being over"? nevermind.



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