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anyways where was i. oh ya, heres gordon right before climbing up and getting murdered by a bunch of gay douche soldiers. anyways lets go up and see if we cant kill them all


holy SHIT they're all around me


god DAMNIT WHY ARE THERE MORE


ARGH WHY CANT THIS GAME HAVE TURN BASED COMBAT


well i managed to get one of them. thats not too bad.


okay lets try that again with a new strategy


fukken run past them


a TANK? are you fucking serious?


OH MY FUCK


fuck this. i thought this was halfslife version 2 not battletanx 64


UPDATED STRATERGY: stay the fuck away from the god damn tank


finally i find an exit. theres some pipe down in that ditch or whatever


pipes are way better than vents. i wonder where it goes


wait.. what?


YOU FUKKIN TRICKED ME YOU GOD DAMN PIPE


i decide to solid snake my way past these fools


complete with murder by rocket launcher


at least the game is nice enough to keep me stocked with explosives


so eventaully i notice this little booth with this switch in it. unfortunately this booth is in the tanks 45 degree radius of destruction so getting this picture was a royal pain in the dick


anyways that opens a gate which leads to this path


where i find another much, much gayer looking tank


unfortunately unlike the last tank this one's turret can move 360 degrees. thats ALL OF THEM by the way


luckily like the last tank the simple action of moving is beyond it's comprehension, so once i turn the corner its incapable of harming me


holy shit this next area starts off by flying a giant manta ray overhead who drops an alien soldier


followed by a fighter jet holy fucking shit thats probably the coolest thing ive seen so far in the entire game


unfortunately right after that we return to the same old shit with gay aliens attacking me


this fagmotron isnt so hard once i have good weapons for a change


keep the change you filthy animal


oh you want some too??


anyways this next segment has tons of the worst enemy in the game, the exploding camera. luckily theyre not too hard to dodge


anyways i think ill just walk around this corner at full speed nothing bad could possibly happen


HOLY ASS


haha thought you could trick me you gay camera? too bad my reaction time is fuckin amazing


luckily i can just shoot these things so theyll blow up and i can continue


SHIT


fuck you. maybe ill just jump over it next time


hahaha cant kill me from here you fucker


FUCK


I FUCKING HATE THESE THING


Guard: "Help me. Help me. Somebody please help me, I'm dyin out here. Please... help... me."


no. lol


hahahahaha


hahahahaha


hahahahaha


HAHAHAHAHA


anyways i guess i just have to walk down this alley. at least its safe for a change; i dont see any stupid cameras


FUCK. i guess this place has exploding rocks or something


i guess the only way to get past is jump repeatedly while walking through it. this makes me feel like im skipping which is really, really gay


shit


needless to say this takes a couple tries


but eventaully i wind up here. i think this is supposed to be barbed wire, which makes gordon a pretty big badass for standing on barbed wire and not even giving a shit


this next place smells like electricity


well i guess im supposed to go to the roof so ill just walk along this thing


WTF gordon died for ABSOLUTETLY NO REASON WHATSOEVER


i decide to take my anger out on these exploding barrels


yeah blow up you bitches


this gets gordon pumped and gives him the balls to walk up here without dying


aw yea


on the roof is the worlds shortest maze because all you have to do is walk forward, then left and you're there


oh boy, a hole in the ceiling


Scientist: "You're heading for the Lambda complex, aren't you? I was heading there myself until I wound up here, and, well, simply lost my nerve. Take one look through that door and you'll see what I mean. I'm going to wait out the catastrophe in here. If you intend to go on, then I beg of you: proceed with extreme caution." BLAH BLAH BLAH YEAH WE GET IT YOU'RE A HUGE PUSSY


bonk


hahaha look at him cower in the corner like that. what a baby.


heads up douchefag


fatality


anyways i wonder whats so scary out here that he was afraid of?


a no smoking sign? thats not so scary


awww SHIT



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