Adexia posted:
On that note, how the hell do Drifloon and Drifblim use Cut? They lack sharp edges of any sort. 
...huh. Come to think of it..quote:
This Balloon Pokémon invites its opponents in close with its big, round eyes and then puts them to sleep with a soothing lullaby. It puffs itself up when angry, and while it may look adorable, it's not to be trifled with; it knows several powerful techniques. Jigglypuff evolves into Wigglytuff after exposure to a Moon Stone.
Weedwhacker/Paper Cut principle.Adexia posted:
On that note, how the hell do Drifloon and Drifblim use Cut? They lack sharp edges of any sort.
Zorak posted bonus content:
MEANWHILE, STILL SEVERAL HUNDRED YEARS AGO IN THE MIDDLE AGES:
CASTLE NASEHAAR – HALL OF STRATEGY AND STRATEGIC IMPALEMENT
Have you feasted enoughe, men!? Good, good! Nowe, it is time for use to readye our battle planse... the Divans have been restrainede in the past, what with the whole sendinge them tributes and boys to be janissaries and the like, but they've been rapidly moving their army into our lands ever since we turned the "tribute" funde into our "basket lunche" fund, and insteade of sending them a certain amount of our youth trained them in the arte of "impaling people from the Divan Empire in very intimidating ways".
"Well... at least they're very good basket lunches sire."
I knowe! It was totally worthe the whole “them invading us” thinge.
"The boys especially like how the meat has the little wood pick impaled through it."
Welle, I'm one who likes sticking with a motif. I'm onto a good thinge here. Anywaye, let's see that map...
Hmm... did you draw upe this map, Captainehackcoughhack? "Yes sire."
It's... a quite nice map, I must say. "Thank you, Sire."
So, our army is right now camped neare this towne, yes? "Yes, that's the town of Franceistan." Franceistan? Home of the... Frances? Frances... Francis...
...What an odde name...
Anywaye... How faste is this river? That's the Glockenspiel, isn't it? Yes sire. This stretch is one of the few areas that it's relatively safe to cross it without a bridge or boat."
Hm... They should be camped there for a few days. They usually get their roots set down to collect resources around them before they move, which will give us time to get there as well as some time to acte. Now, to make a battle plan... Er, waite, one seconde. What'se that thinge in the middle of the rivere there? The one with the bridges and stuffe. "Those bridges are actually destroyed sire, pardon my slightly inaccurate drawings. The thing in the center is an old Castle, Castle Olmec." Ah... Castle Olmec.
What team were we on again at the last Order of the Dragonite party-meete there? I think we were on the Silver Ekans. Bishop Blargharlar led the Purple Chatots." Ah yes. Good times, good times. We never shoulde have solde that Nosepasse to that “Nick” guy.
So… how many troops do we have stationed in our campe right now? ”About 3,000, not including Pokemon.” How about them? ”…About 7,000. … bugger. ”But… that’s not including their thousand man special Janissary force…” You don't mean those Janissaries, do you!? "I'm afraid so."
oh jesus they ride giant land scorpions we’re boned
Fucke.
Er…
Lieutenant, my good man! Do you have er, any brilliant ideas how we shoulde move through the battle in order to beate the Divans? You have won us victories in the past with your brilliantly creative tactics, perhaps you have some insightful way to solve our predicament? Possibly involving impalemente in some way?
INTERACTION GOOOO
SOMEWHAT LATER, STILL IN THE MIDDLE AGES:
4:30 AM Vlalacchian Camp, Franceistan-Glockenspiel Plain
Welle, we've arrived... We had to ride all night, but we got here. Are we ready to inacte the Lietuenant's plan, Captaine? "Er, sir... I don't know if this is the best idea in the world..." Come now Captaine, his ideas were the most original things I've ever hearde in planning a battle before!
"... Yeahhh... That's sort of the problem. Looke at the Lieutenant thoughe, he's as happy as a dickens that we're going with his ideas. Besides, what's the worste that can happen? "You mean besides us being killed, our people being enslaved, our families being raped and murdered, and those they decide not to rape to death thrown into slavery?"
You worry too muche... let's not forget, God is on our side. Now...
MEN! PREPARE FOR BATTLE! Have the Symphony warme up with their first tune. Starte with "That One Olde Bar Songe about the Pikachu Who Dranke Three Gallons of Ale Too Muche." The maestro can go wherevere from there.
Now... have some of our men set the foreste on fire. RAISE CONFUSIONE INTO THEIR RANKS!
Now, counteracte that previous' team efforts by having a Dragonaire summon a rain storme, flooding the river enough for us to put Octi- wait, one second, we don't even have Octillery. "We've got Psyducks though. Loads of them." Oh. Well... send our Psyducke to then flooded Castle Olmec. If anythinge, maybe it'll give everyone in the area a headache.
Okay, nowe to start the frontal assault! Send our fire types to attacke. Make sure to sneake them through the river... it's so deviously clever, they'll never see it coming!
"Sire, our fire types all fainted!" BLASTE, OUT MANEUVERED! "Not really sir, the Pokemon are just weak to wa-" Sende our ice types instead to the banks to freeze them if they attempte to Ford the river!
"Sire, their force is finally moving!" Wait, what? They haven't moved at all until now? Well freeze them as they attempt to cross! "They are sire! But they're just walking over the frozen people on the frozen river now that they're crossing!"
Blaste! Have our men hide in the farmlands to attempt to take them by surprise! Sir, it's all low lying shrubberies, how are they- Fine then Captain "Whinesalot", let's try building a giant wall of Shuckles to impede their movement!
Hm... so the walle was ineffective. I guess we should have broughte more then one Shuckle to the battle. Hm... now, what next... What do you think Captain, shoulde we sende a troop of Jigglypuff to try to serenade their army to asleep, or should we challenge them to that game of honor the Lieutenant suggested in the now flooded Castle Olmec an- "Sire! I've just got word, the Divans are retreating!"
They are!? We managed to repulse them? "... No, sire. They uh, decided to go home. Their General sent their messenger to tell us "If you guys aren't going to try fighting this war serious we're just going to go home.""
Er... well...
Heh...
Heh... hehehe....
Ten miles southward, in the retreating Divan Force's Command Wagon
"What a joke that was... I don't even want to be on the same battlefield with a man like that. It's a disgrace to my skill and office, tsk." "My commander, we're coming upon some strange objects on the horizon... it seems to be a long thick role of poles blocking the pass!" "Eh? That looks like... Mighty Allah, it is... those are all... and they're covered with..." "Sire! There are more being raised to our sides, just beyond our archers' range! There's thousands of them, no, more, more!" "This... this is..." "Behind us too! We've been totally boxed in sire! There's so many... oh Allah..." "...Allah, what matter of nightmare have we walked into..."
...
What fools... did they forget my personal touch always affects my battle tactics? Hehe... The Divans are going to be in for a treat... They thought my "Forest of the Impaled" was bad in the past, this "Maze of the Impaled", my magnum opus, is going to drive the stake of fear and submission into their very souls!
...
...
Hah, stake of fear and submissione. You get it Captain? You know, driving a stake like how I- "Yes sire, I get it, like impalement." Yeah, you know, because I impale people. This is the beste job ever.
Drake Lake posted fanart:
Zorak posted:
Roxy is probably doing normal Roxy things right now in Johto without Pokemon at all. You know, getting tricked by Elm into getting attacked by swarms of bees and stuff like that probabaly.
