So... how much to 'forget' my little girl's indescretions?
Well... she could come work for me.
Fuck me! Can't I just... I don't know... pay it off or something? Hmmmm. Alright. 7800 dollars. Unmarked 100 dollar bills, behind the white building in the town square at midnight. Come alone. The church?!
Do you have the money? Where's the big man? The boss is very busy and can't be bothered with every day to day chore. Do you have the money or are we going to have to get rough? It's right here... what the... Sister Lee?! Oh poop. How'd you know it was me? I can't think of anyone else who'd wear both a balaclava and a habit.
Well, let's see if it's all here.
One hundred...
Two hundred...
Three... What, don't you trust me? Shhhhh! You're going to make me lose my place!
Four...
Five...
Six... Zzzzzz...
Seventy-seven.
Seventy-six. I think you mean... SHHHHH!
Seventy... uh, seven? Uhm, I guess it's all here. Well, thank God for that. Indeed. Nice doing business with you.
I said SOMEPLACE OTHER THAN CHURCH.
Ooops.
I could have just gone and killed a harpy and gotten more than that. 
A duel? Why?
Uhm. I don't know, it just seemed like the done thing.
Have at thee!
Argh, mace'd!
I swear all this church-going will turn out badly.
Is it me, or am I getting uglier?
Aaaaaah, much better.
What, are you crazy? DO IT.
Great. That's really great. Because exactly what she needs is more power.
How'd it go?
Are. You. High? Quite possibly so.
Sir, may I have your daughter's hand in marriage? Fuck off!
We're not going to return the present? You're kidding right? Hooray! We're rich!
Faster! Harder! More princess-like!
I'm behaving as fast as I can! 
She looks dangerously anorexic to me, sir, but whatever you say.
Just because it's part-time work doesn't mean you can treat it lightly. You may be an amateur, but I want you to work with the pride of a professional. A professional what? Bunny-girl waitress. 
Hey... do I smell gas? WE'RE GETTING OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW! I swear I keep seeing the same octopus...
...and then his arm came off! I didn't even twist that hard!
Oh Lord, why?
I challenge you to a duel!
You say 'duel'... 
...I say 'brutal beating to within an inch of your life'.
Stupid, stupid cabaret... now I've to clean up all this sin again.
What, another one?! FINE.
Die and be forgotten!
mommy
What, the girl you nearly crippled last time? That Ma-gi-cian girl? Yup and yup. I wonder if she's recovered then embarked on a long regime of brutal training, becoming a battle-scarred hardended warrior-wizard in order to defeat me this year?
Guess not.
Ooops. Was it the same one as last time?
M-my arm!
You keep that up and soon you're going to be an unarmed swordsman. Ha ha, get it?
Oh you kill me.
Deal.
Didn't I just brutally beat your ass while we were on our way here? Uhm, yes. How about I just roll over and play dead?
Good boy!
Oh, another one? Yup! Well that's another one for the pile. You did good, Lizzie. You did good.
What? Why're you looking at me like... that? BradleyJamers posted:
...I think she needs a new dress too, something more extravagant and cool. Something that when she walks into the room, everyone is blinded by it's magnificence.
BRAAAAAAADLEEEEEEY! 