Part 34: Episode XXV: Missile Strike Meerkat

Canyon Intruder (MGS: The Twin Snakes)


"...airspace."


America... FUCK YEAH!


"Cruise missile launched... now!"


The only useful thing they do the entire fucking game...


YEAH! x 4! (They were apparently very proud of this choppy animation so it plays four times.)


"Target destroyed."
"Snake, keep going north. Infiltrate the maintenance base and destroy Metal Gear."

Yeah, we could do that. But this is, like the first visit, an extremely short stage  punctuated with a boss battle this time.  So before we proceed, let's here what the support staff has to say. It's been a few missions since we bothered checking in outside a boss appearance.

Snake gets in touch with the Colonel...


As per usual, Campbell has fuck all of use to add to the proceedings. On a related note, Takeshi Aono, Colonel Campbell's Japanese voice actor, died earlier this week. So Campbell is officially retired from the series from here on out.

Solid Snake rings the only remaining female on the radio...


"...with a steady eye.' Duc de La Rochefoucauld. About Jimmy -- you're not the only one in pain. ...Hang in there."
"I don't think Jimmy is in much pain anymore. Those beefy stumps bled out pretty quick."
"No, Snake. I meant you."
"Don't worry, I'm fine. No shrapnel from the blast. Doesn't seem like it was meant to hit anyone but the person wearing the booby trapped handcuffs."
"No... I meant more in your heart. For the loss of Jimmy."
"...I don't follow."
"Don't you feel bad about what happened to Jimmy?"
"Well, it was messed up and all but I'm not going to lose sleep over it. It's war. This kind of thing happens on the battlefield."
"But..."
"Look, I've got a Metal Gear to stop. You can give me a... private... psyche eval after the mission."
"....."
"I don't know what else I can say."

Snake gets up with Lensenbrink for some aircraft missile sperging...


"...is the new JASSM (Joint Air-to-Surface Standoff Missile). Those are stealth cruise missiles designed for attacking stable and moving ground targets. Total length is 4.25m, weighs 1050kg with an additional 450kg for the payload. It uses GPS-fitted inertial navigation for high-altitude cruising, then makes a descent near the target to commence final guidance using and infrared imaging seeker with an automatic target identification capability. It has a range of - believe it - 460km so that the firing aircraft can attack from beyond the enemy's aerial defense perimeter. What you've just seen is a demonstration of its accuracy and lethality."

Playing the actual game, that was about two dozen button presses to get through all that dialogue...

Snake doesn't want Brian to feel left out...


"...admit it, but there is no doubt that Jenner is the Black Chamber spy."
"....."
"She must have been behind the decimation of the Delta Force team too. She attempted to gain your confidence from the beginning to extract information from you. She's certainly a first-rate actress..."
"I still don't buy it. Spies never get revealed without a dramatic reveal. Until I see her flip some sunglasses off and suddenly start speaking in a British accent, I'm not sold on her being the traitor."


And last but not least, Chris Jenner is, naturally, offline at the moment.


Canyon (MGS: The Twin Snakes)


Time to backtrack through the northern canyon area for a third time. Once more the minefield has respawned so Snake needs to either be careful or just crawl through the thing to replenish the mines spent on Pyro Bison's lower extremities.


Once we pass the minefield, there is no greeting by gunships or surprise artillery barrages.




It's just a casual stroll up the side of the mountain's zig-zagging path past the wreckage of the artillery.


As Snake reaches the top of the mountain, we spy a woman with long blond hair and a green jumpsuit hopping into the pilot seat of Black Arts Viper's gunship from our first visit.


Welp. I guess that settles that...


Snake doesn't bother shooting a rocket straight into the cockpit canopy before the chopper takes off. He instead just awaits it to fly overhead to get into proper position for a boss battle.

Welp!