Part 31: Anal Cave City

_{Music: Canalave City}
This is nice, no. Really. It's like waterfront, but. . . gross.


. . . abandoned buildings and everything.


Oh hey, of course.


Nowhere else to go, I've got some rocks to push.


Sure, I've a minute.

_{Music: Rival Battle - Diamond/Pearl/Platinum}



Your bird has a little thing on its head now!


Oh no. Not that again.




Should have stuck with your last strategy, Jorge.


Oh. Oh my.


Aww ya shouldn't have done that!


She's full of flammable things!


Stupid gamble time!


See. I knew that was gonna happen but. . .




Oh. Oh jeez.



Next?





Jorge, c'mon boy. Snapping Turtle beats Monkey. We do this every time. Get some sense.



Jorge, I can't help but notice all of your monsters have a way to take out Dom. I'm sure he's flattered.








Oh I feel like such a gym leader!







champion!
I—


Mmmmm.


Iron Island, huh?


Dangit, Jorge.


Well first thing's first, looting.



_{Choro Notes: U-turn}
U-turn is a strange, bug-type attack. The user kicks off the opponent's head and switches with one of its allies. Great on fast monsters for hit-and-run tactics—rather than Crobat just switching out, it can smack its opponent and get out of the Thunderbolt headed its way by switching with a Rhydon or something.


. . . Buff dudes?


Eldritch is such a cool word.


Yarr, I hate the sea.




Madam, you haven't seen energy like I have.


Yarrrr.






Everything's rusty and it smells like brine. Great. This was a good idea, thanks Jorge.


. . . here's trouble.


Some call me. . . Lady.


Why would someone in so fine a suit be out here on the ocean, outside of an abandoned iron mine?



Wow uh, do you just hand these out to everyo—I just took an item from you and I have to help you do something now, don't I?


Ugh.


_{Music: Caves of Mt.Moon - Red/Blue - TV version}



Ah yes. The usual cave subjects +1 stage.


It's 8pm, we're on an offshore island in an abandoned iron mine. That's what. What the heck is wrong with everyone?




No. You SHOULDN'T. You're gonna get the black lung, boy.


_{Choro Notes: Protector
The Protector is a useless hold-item. Well, in battle. If a Rhydon is holding it when it's traded it'll evolve.}



No idea where Riley went.


Miss you John!



It happens!


"Friend of mine took some molten steel right in the face. I told the crazy owner those spinning paths were the stupidest idea in the history of anything, but whatever!"


Eh.


That. . . seems like a bad idea. Shouldn't you be focusing on the lifts?



:I




What the hell was that?!

". . . g-geodude."


Hey yeah, thanks for waiting for me, jerk.


They're ALWAYS restless. Why do you think I was stuck in the same town for twelve years?







Uncanny resemblance.


_{Choro Notes: Riley's Pokémon}
Riley's single monster is pretty recognizable as of late: it's a Lucario. Lucario are Fighting/Steel types. They can throw hadoukens and have adamantium skeletons. They even have wolverine claws. I'm not making that up, when they use Metal Claw they fist spikes become three-pronged claws.



Yeah, sorry Riley. This is how my octopus rolls. Don't worry, Lucario can tough it out.



I should get extra EXP for that.


Hmph. A bunch of weirdos and eccentrics down here.






These are the people working on our infrastructure I'm realizing. See? This is why I don't go into the underground.


_{Choro Notes:} NOTHING INTERESTING HAPPENED EXCEPT THIS:

Taunt makes the target unable to do non-attacking moves while the user is still alive and kickin'. So it basically shuts down moves like Thunder Wave, Growl, Double Team, Sandstorm, etc.


Riley, that is NOT how steel works.


_{Choro Notes:} Yes. That is a wild Steelix. Despite being a trade-based evolution, they're catchable in the wild in Sinnoh.


Look bro. No offense, and it's not that I love KOing your Lucario (heh) but I don't want you finishing off my target here.


Take out your lady friend.





Game set.

Steelix

Steelix lives even further underground than Onix. It chews its way through boulders with its sturdy jaws and its eyes are adapted to seeing in the dark underground. This Pokémon is known to dig towards the earth's core. There are records of this Pokémon reaching a depth of over six-tenths of a mile underground. Tempered underground under high pressure and heat, its body is harder than any metal. The many small metal particles that cover this Pokémon's body reflect bright light well.
Choro Notes: Steelix is one of my favorite "use-a-giant-monster-to-fight-tiny-monsters" monsters. Just a big, pissed off metal snake that wants to be left alone. Truly one of nature's greatest sights.
Zorak Notes: Clearly they need to make every other trade evolution catchable in the wild, just like steelix. CLEARLY.
HulkaMatt Notes: At one point in my life when pokemon first came out I thought onix was the tallest and most amazing pokemon ever so imagine what i thought when it turned into a GIGANTIC SNAKE MADE OUT OF STEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
_{If it was male I was gonna name it Monitor.}





Nope!


Tch, Family issues.



_{Choro Notes: Chalk up the Steel-type plate!}


I'm doing that now.


I bet it sounds cool. Kind of like a demolition derby.


I think you're kind of overthinking it.

any trouble into this mine.
They're not. . . really doing anything, though.



So. . . you're just catching them?


Riley, uh. They're just catching Pokémon. Heck, I abducted a Steelix earlier. You watched me.


I know, but, man you're kind of a jerk.


_{Music: Team Aqua & Magma Battle - TV version}


Hey take out the Zubat for me, thanks in advance.

You dick.




Ok, you know what?


Get out of the way, you're slowing me down.



That frog's got the right idea.




Good thing this mine's so well constructed!




Snapping turtle reigns supreme over jackals, cats, frogs, skunks, and bats!


I hope you mean me and Dom~.



SEE? They weren't doing squat.


Hmph.


Where'd you get a Pokémon egg? Your only Pokémon is male.


Ugh, yes. But only because nobody's asked me to do anything after giving me an egg.



Yeah, whatever.


Hmm.




_{Choro Notes: Shiny Stone}
The Shiny Stone evolves Togetic and Roselia.


This cave looks like it wasn't always here.


. . . I'll have to remember this place.

—BACK IN TOWN—



OH BOY RIOLU WOOOOOOOoooooooo. Oop, enthusiasm gone. Into the box with you.

Riolu

Riolu has the peculiar power of being able to see emotions such as joy and rage in the form of waves. The aura that emanates from its body intensifies to alert others if it is afraid or sad. Its body is lithe yet powerful. It can crest three mountains and cross two canyons in one night.
Choro Notes: Riolu evolves into Lucario. It's a fighting type and this is the only place you get one. Uh. Shit, I dunno.
Zorak Notes: Riolu is so unremarkable in every possible way. There is hardly a pokemon less worthy of remark than riolu. I mean really, do you have anything of worth to say about him? I BET YOU DON'T.
HulkaMatt Notes: Riolu's a god damned small lucario and is also a dog and dogs rule
_{named by Cheapsteaks}

Eh, I think I'm sufficiently tough enough to fight Byron.