The Let's Play Archive

Resident Evil 1

by The Dark Id

Part 34: Episode XXI: Black Dog




Episode XXI: Black Dog

When last we left our heroine, I'm pretty sure she got brained. But, assuming a blunt object bashing in the back of one's skull, at full force, wouldn't cause significant damage, let's continue...


I guess we'll also have to assume that despite clearly collapsing in a heap at the top of the steps, Jill managed to roll down them and in a completely different direction. As well as flip unto her back at some point. Amazing what people can accomplish with a smashed in cranium.


Though, despite the braining, she still managed to keep her sassy beret on. What a trooper.

The sound of rattling chains close in on Jill.


She's been trying to itch that spot all day long.


Jill, slightly off camera, snaps into action to face the newest ho-


WHAT...


THE...


CHRIST?!


Meet Lisa Trevor. An invincible abomination wearing the skin of women's faces she's torn off. Also, a lovely black dress in dire need of a needle and thread.


Oh right, horrible immortal banshee trying to bash Jill's brains into a pulp proper. What's the phrase I'm looking for, here?


Run away!!


RUN AWAY!!


Well, that was quite the little harrowing jog. Lisa doesn't actually chase you through the woods or anything. She doesn't even leave her house. A very sheltered child. We'll have a few more visits with her in the future.


First, to put that lovely crank to good use. You remember? The one in the cabin in the woods with the she-demon drapped in women's flesh? That crank. It goes here. It turns things.


Like the control to the gateway controlling the flow of water. Since Jill's floatation devices render it difficult to navigate across the little waterway.


Also, how could she keep her hat on? Metal shackles wrapping around her head, I can suspend my disbelief on. Swimming and wearing a beret? That's just nonsense.


Unfortunately, the water is now flowing directly into the lower area, blocking a cave passageway beneath. As to where the rest of the pool sized amount of water went off to? Meh. Details.



There's also an elevator leading to the upper level. Which is, of course, missing its battery. Are all elevators battery powered and I've just never noticed until now? Will this be a startling revelation, should I ever be caught in a zombie outbreak?


Maybe I should pack an emergency one. The rest of the group will be all, "oh fuck, there's no battery in this elevator. We're gonna have to go fiddle with the city's power grid to get into the storeroom and grab a spare!" And I'm gonna be all, "bitches, got it covered."

I'll then discover someone drained the fluid from it and a two hour fetch quest will ensue.

Officer Valentine wanders into the residence.


Which is pretty empty and boring at this point. What with everything that isn't nailed down and flashing in the dark already swiped. All the puzzles already solved. The zombies dead. The doors unlocked. And the ink ribbons already used. Man...this must have been a really shitty place to work, in better times...


But, Jill is unaware of all that, so she soldiers forth in her wandering aimlessly.

Our heroine overhears voices coming from down the corridor.


"You said that I would be getting cookies. There's no cookies here. There never were any cookies, were there?!"


"So, you're only getting animal crackers until everyone else is dead."


"Yes... Yes it is... What part of 'help me lure the rest of the team here so I can have my monsters kill them for test data' didn't you understand?"


This camera angle is implausible.


"Let me reiterate, what part of 'help me lure the rest of the team here so I can have my monsters kill them for test data or I'll rape your wife and kill your family' is going over your head?"


"I promise I won't kill your family."


"You still won't beat my full house."


So, if you haven't gotten all that, Wesker is evil and is manipulating Barry into...well...that point is never made too clear, as he doesn't really have Barry do anything out of the ordinary. Regardless, this entire plot thread will continue to fly over Jill's head, as though her beret was a goal post and someone is kicking from the ten yard line.

Jill wanders into the room.



So, Barry's voice she immediately recognizes from the hall. But the team leader that regularly issues her orders doesn't ring any bells.


Alright. Alright. Keep it together, Burton. Think of something quick. She's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Mmm...sandwich. Jill sandwich... Oh shit, don't let the captain come up! For God sake, you're married, Barry! Right. Focus! Think of a lie!


"Uhh...also ventriloquy... and umm... voice impressions. My daughter's birthday is coming up. I'm uhh.... Gonna dress up like clown and stuff..."


"But, all that sounds perfectly logical. Carry on."


You know, by all accounts, Wesker is hiding either behind the bookcase or beneath the bed.


There's nothing like the heavenly fragrance of rotting flesh on the wind.

Barry begins to walk off.


"Maybe with something awesome. Like a flamethrower. Yeah... Like in Aliens. That'd be the ticket. Man... A man can dream..."


Good, she didn't notice the general is at attention. I need to get to a bathroom...

Tune in next time for revisited boss fights, overkill, and inappropriate usage of firearms.

Bonus Content:

Lisa Trevor Intro:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWBCS1_k1Cw

Wesker and Barry Cutscene:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XafYkTKjo_c