<< Previous Chapter
>> Next Chapter
^^ Index

Episode XXIII: Let’s Play as Secondary Characters.

When last we left our pair, they had each met up with their newfound sidekicks for a second time. Let’s see how this is panning out…

“What with the vanished police chief and rotting corpse around the same time you took off.”

Honestly, what are the chances of two people deciding to climb down a manhole in a filthy back alley within seconds of one another?

Oh, great. This is one of those little shits that never got the taste smacked out of them as a kid and end up on Maury.

“Not after that creepy chuckle, no.”


Good grief…

“I have a gun and stuff. I mean, what are you going to do to the alleged monsters attacking your so called ‘father’? Hop on their heads like it’s the fucking Mario Brothers?”

“Sherry, you have to answer me. Sherry?! SHEEEERRRRRY?!?!”

Oh, Christ. We’re playing as Sherry now. This is almost as bad as the stint with Ashley Graham. Only, Sherry is 12 and kids are dumb, so she has an excuse. Ashley was just a fucking moron.

Sherry was good enough to bring along medical supplies. I guess Umbrella doesn’t believe in child-proofing its products. Regardless, she won’t be needing this, as Sherry is the toughest goddamn character, health wise, in the whole series.

Lil’ Birkin also has a photo of her happy family to go along with her. We’ll be meeting this peachy bunch soon enough.

Sherry hops a ride upstairs to search for her wayward father.

A couple of Cerberuses are patrolling the area. Despite Sherry moving at the rate of a puppy with two broken legs, they’re not much of a threat. Sorry, no gory deaths for the kid. She’ll just collapse if she gets hit enough. Which takes a good 10-12 hits. Kid drinks her milk.

You know what I think this already fun section needs, outside of running from dogs slowly?

A crate pushing puzzle. Luckily, it’s as basic as you can get. There’s three crates. They need to be pushed against the wall to make a bridge when the water rises so Sherry can cross.

This kid is a goddamn tank.

I’m not sure how safe that would be to cross. I don’t exactly think empty crates propped aside one another makes for the safest passageway. But then again, Sherry looks like she weights about 60 lbs, so I suppose it can slide.

Ah. So that’s where the final RPD key was located. In the adjacent sewage treatment plant. Where else?

Despite the look of the place, we’re about done here.

But, there’s still time to make our pint sized pack mule grab some high explosives. Kid friendly. Mother approved.

Sherry slowly flops back to where she began.

We’re this in the same state as realistic, Claire would have booked about a minute after Sherry wandered off, giving her up for dead. But, hey. This is Resident Evil.

I suppose it’s reasonable she’s totally zoned out for five minutes and stared at the hole in the ventilation.

Nothing like a stream of consciousness responds.

Kid Birkin’s got quite an arm on her.

Wait, shit! Don’t throw that one!


No! Shut up, you tart!

The only thing Resident Evil captures in the department of realism is the fact that kids are dumb.

“You know what? Fuck it. Score one for Claire.”

Well, that went about as well as can be expected. Let’s see how Leon has faired with his female counterpart…

Hmm… Boyfriend has been gone for six months… He’s either dumped her and never called back or I’ve probably blown his head off at some point in the last few hours… Time for the old Kennedy rebound slide in…

“No shit, Sherlock. It says so in giant white letters on both sides of your shirt.”

“You’re just a goddamn scholar of the obvious, aren’t you?”

Get upstairs? I…thought we were heading toward the sewers? We’re not even in the sewer yet. Why would a hole in the wall lead upstairs anyway?

Regardless, Leon is never one to pass up an upskirt view. No matter how contrived the reason.

Crap. We ran onto the other set. Sherry’s gonna be pissed her smoke break got interrupted.

Sherry runs off.

It seems Sherry dropped her pendant. Despite, ya know, not having been wearing it earlier.

Stealing jewelry off children. I knew I liked this game for a reason.

Seems we’re doing this song and dance with Ada now.

Ada is slightly more well armed than the kiddo was. Though, she takes damage like a wuss.

I suppose this would be the elusive “John” Ada has been seeking out; grabbing a feel.

A half dozen zombies have since driven out the roaming hellhounds. That, or they’re currently busy devouring Sherry’s corpse and the zombies are just holding up shop. In either case, I think I know where this is going.

Now, the little kid I could see maybe maybe making it across that if she went very slowly. A full grown woman I would not afford such a benefit of the doubt.

Must be some nanomachine key generating shelf.

Ada returns to where she began. Leon I could see as being a total schmuck and just standing there slackjawed. Eyes fixed on the opening.

Hurray for awkward girly throws.

“Be tough… Do not cry from box hitting your foot…”

What? It’s nearly arm length just standing. Sherry could use that excuse since she’s approaching dwarfism. You’re just friggin’ lazy.

The man sure loves shouting her name. I think poor Leon just got launched into the ‘friends zone’.

Claire calls up on the radio.

Yes, I know this call already took place. But, that was so unfuckingbelievably inconsistent with everything at that point there was no getting around it.

Sherry still has her pendant when you first meet her. Claire proceeds to give Leon a call telling her about finding Sherry. At this point, Ada had just finished her sidetrip on Leon’s side of things. At which point she bumped into Sherry, who drops her pendant and Ada pilfers it.

So, for this all to work, Ada would have to spook Sherry, who was already trolling around the sewage treatment plant and grab her pendant. She’d then have to high tail it up two levels of the RPD, somehow get through the wrecked corridor, evade Chief Irongrip, and meet up with Claire. Oh, she’d also have to have picked up a spare pendant.

After that, she’d have to go all the way back down to the basement, loosing the spare pendant along the way and go back to the sewage treatment plant, but somehow forget how she got out in the first place.

Somebody really didn’t think this zapping system through…

Tune in next time for weapon upgrades, silly puzzles, and more zany item fetching in Episode XXIV: Running Redfield

Bonus Content

Ada gets killed by zombies. Don’t want to make her feel left out:

<< Previous Chapter
>> Next Chapter
^^ Index