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Episode XXIV: Running Redfield
When last we left our pair, they’d just had both their sidekicks turn out to be too lame to reach a somewhat high hole in the wall and run off for points unknown. Let’s see how Claire is fairing since then…
Well, then. There’s not much left to be done in a back alley hole in the ground. Time for some door unlocking, it would seem.
First up is the autopsy room. As Claire Redfield is a moron.
I know I’m controlling the character and all, but she could have very well went “Fuck that noise” when I clicked the door. So, I place the blame of the idiocy solely on her shoulders.
No monster intervention there. Just the R.P.D.’s near comical state of disrepair.
Claire locates a recolored version of the earlier Marvin keycard. Which in turn sends out a dog whistle like signal to all the zombies in the room.
“Keeeeey….iteeeeeem…”
The ill obtained keycard unlocks the weapon storage room, which Leon activated the reader to a bit ago. Which hosts a decent amount of ammunition. But, the more importantly…
A heavy duty upgrade. A sub-machine gun and a side pack which increases inventory space by two slots presents itself. Whichever item Claire doesn’t take here can be left for Leon in his scenario. Or, she can just take both, if she’s a total bitch. But, Ms. Redfield knows what’s what…
And acts accordingly. Special weapons are pricks in this game and take up two inventory slots. But, we can keep this for a rainy day.
The rest of the underground holds little of interest to Claire, so she heads back upstairs.
We have our second of three uses of the Club Key at the top of the staircase.
A little rest area is found with standard issue deadpan examination of mutilated corpse to be had. Old Mr. Gutted left behind a journal of his last thoughts. I’m sure it will be riveting…
Watchman’s Diary
“How I managed to see the sky in an enclosed room on the third story. I must have been trippin’ balls that day.”
So, did the Chief ever do any actual police work or did he just dart around the precinct bitching out random officers for touching his valuables? Which apparently consisted of 83% of the building. Didn’t this guy have a house he could keep this shit in?
“Claire, this is Leon. Tell Thomas he’s a faggot. Over.”
Option C: Thomas does a lot of coke.
A lot of pot too…
Oh, you card.
Yeah, well having your throat and abdomen ripped out will do that to a fellow.
Claire now ventures to the hallway that had the interrogation room and the licker scaring the bejesus out of me smashing through that damn magic mirror.
Thus, we part ways with the final silly ass theme key of the RPD. 
Ms. Redfield finds herself in what appears to be a conference room. Or junior high music room. I can never tell the difference.
Another extremely easy puzzle crops up. Another last for the RPD!
The most difficult part of this one is knowing to bring the lighter with Claire.
Each of the three statues can be lit once the furnace is activated (why are these things in here? The ‘it used to be a museum’ excuse is crumbling here.) Anyhow, the statues have numbers 11, 12, and 13 etched beneath them going left to right.
This is another card themed set-up. Twelve is the queen. Thirteen is the king. Eleven is the jack. In that order, the gear sticking out of the crude painting falls out.
Guess where we’re heading next?
Claire heads up toward the clocktower.
ZOMBIES HAVE BREACHED THE RPD! I REPEAT ZOMBIES HAVE BREACHED THE RPD!
Too bad Claire is spending all of five more minutes in this place and it ain’t around there. Nice try, undead.
Before we were so rudely interrupted.
Man, it’s been forever since Claire got that crank.
Didn’t we already do this exact same thing in Nemesis? Gold gear and everything?
Well, it seems we’re well on our way to Irons’ secret kiddie porn dungeon. There’s also a gaping hole which leads into inky darkness below the final piece here. Only some nutjob with knees of steel would ever consider braving that drop.
Three puzzle pieces in hand, Claire returns to Irons’ office.
“Goddamnit! What is with you and Irons’ office? Is there something I should know? Where did he touch you?”
“Did he touch you here, Sherry? Is that where the man touched you?”
Yeah, that’s nice kid.
Open sesame! Oh, what’s that? Do I spy a precariously dropped confidential document? I think I do.
MAIL TO THE CHIEF
*cough* “Of course, said lab was a biohazard nightmare and all hands were lost before it exploded.”
Well, Irons was doing a smashing job of…just sort of ignoring them while they collected evidence and built up a case. But, I see how that could fall under parameters.
“P.S. Affair as in shady dealings. Do not rape my wife. Thanks.”
…underground research facility? Is Umbrella run by Bond villains? And no red flags were raised by $10,000 appearing in Irons’ account? It’s not like he was being particularly subtle with it. What with the fucking suits of armor, gems, and stuffed tigers scattered all over the damn place.
Gotta love a company who’s end of the year bonus involves a rifle magazine in your chest.
It’s good to take a hardlined stance on deadlines. Maybe we’ll finally see Duke Nukem Forever through such a method.
Further in the newly opened corridor is a creepy little elevator. If I know my survival horror, no good can come of this.
“If Irons isn’t down here and is out stalking the building for people to murder and happens to return, just curl into a fetal position and hope for a swift death. See ya!”
Yeah, so…what were we hoping to achieve by venturing into the bowels of Irons’ hidden dungeon? I’m lost.
Tune in next time for similar degrees of item fetching with far more giant bald men in Episode XV: Bald is Beautiful.
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