Part 7: Did someone say Fetch Quest? (Part Two)
Chapter 6 - Did someone say Fetch Quest? (Part Two)
So, just to catch up, I have a hot Asian girl waiting by a hot tub. She has low blood sugar or some other pussy disease so I have to get her candy. I can't find any candy, though, so this hot hippy girl said she'd give me some if I gave her shrooms for some ritual she wants to do with me. And to get the shrooms, I needed to find my friend B's friend E.
E, also, I should mention has a crush on me - I basically have three girls into me right now and nowhere near enough time for all of them. All I had to do was get E to give me the shrooms without hurting her feelings. Or just use her to get them. Whatever.
I was so determined that while I running, I made this on my Blackberry:
Fortunately, I managed to pass a clothing store, and E just happened to be there. Talk about dumb luck! I figured she'd be in her room or somewhere more predictable, but what do I know? And what are the odds of her having shrooms on her here? Very good, actually. She brings her mushrooms everywhere. I don't know.
Her hands smell like fish! Ha ha, get it? Because I don't!
This was going to be tricky. I needed all the tact and social skill I could muster...
So, of course, I had nothing. What do I say, Internet?
I need your fungus.
...When did 'fungus' become slang for sex? Did it ever? Oh Christ... the battle of wits has begun. I'd better just ignore that and say:
There shall be great suffering on this mountain if I do not receive toadstools!
Well, I tried to say that as awesomely as I could. v
v
Hmmm... unfortunately, I have the feeling that if I say something like:
You like that, huh, you sexy little bookworm?I'll get something like:
Wait. Excellent pun aside, that didn't seem to make any sense. Regardless, I decided to play it safe and say:
Yethinks I could partake of a viewing of milady's fungus factory?
What to say, what to say...
I have a hard time believing no one has ever asked you for a peek before.
...
...
I need a new fucking peer group, man.
Well, at least I knew she had them.
Great, now how to actually get her to give them to me.
I grabbed the fungus and started to run when-
I don't think E would actually call the cops... but I do kind of feel bad about this.
Last chance to try and back out of it.
Stealing the fungus does not result in Game Over.
Seeya later chump!
I'm sure I could smooth things over with her later. But I was so happy that I got the toadstools, I made this kickass Photoshop!
Oh yeah, and on my way out:
She threw:
God, E was so weird, right guys?