The Let's Play Archive

Advance Wars

by cosmicPostman

Part 31: Please Delete Your Search History

PART 31 - Please Delete Your Search History

Welcome back to Yu-Gi-Oh!!, everyone. Last time, we made a start on the first Sonja map and did quite well until her trap card forced us to attack, allowing her to proc her CO power. Now for the exciting conclusion! Well, moderately engaging conclusion.

Speaking of, she's about to do it... here we go.

The intel is "there's a bunch of tanks and an APC like three minutes from my HQ".

And here we go. Let's just pray that Michael and Gareth survive this.


apparently step one of Enhanced Vision is to blind me

...Ooh, that's not good.

Dammit, I knew there were going to be some artilleries lurking around here. This one has gone for Eddie, so luckily, that means Michael wasn't in range. Phew.


he can tank this, right?

The answer was "just about". Please, god, don't let there be anything else.

Nope, we're good up north. Back at the HQ, this infantry has finally figured out the weakest link of our barricade and attacks.

Ouch, that was a surprising amount of damage. Hang in there, Vladimir!

Oh, come on.

"Ah!" yelps Vladimir, down to the last man. "Ve need backup... they're getting aggressive!"

"It's alright!" Tina shouts. "We'll crush 'em. Just get yourself out of danger as soon as you can!"

Uh, right. Lots of take care of. Now that we've let Sonja get her CO power off, we can go back to being the aggressive sons of bitches everyone knows us as.

We have to play this carefully to keep the Vladimir Volunteers alive, though. First, move him down here.

Next, we attack with Bill.

It went perfectly. God, I love how strong everything is when Max-powered. He really is disgustingly overpowered.

Next, the Fred Fusiliers open fire on the other asshole.

Mountains continue to be the best defensive terrain.

And finally, I put Tina here. Why, you ask?

To keep Vladimir safe.

And now, we head back up to the other guys to try and deal with whatever was happening up there.

OK, I do a decent amount of damage to the tanks.

Let's get Michael out of the way so we can safely dispose of this guy.

Von Panzer, you're up.

He does a Max amount of damage, to nobody's surprise.

And in order to repent for his shame of activating Sonja's trap card, Arthur finishes the job.

Whew, problem over. Provided there's no other tanks lurking in the fog, we should be clear to go for the HQ now. And I am sick and tired of this map already.

May as well put Eddie in the forest. He'll be nicely hidden so that nothing can murder him.

Well, what now, Sonja? Blue Eyes White Dragon?

Nope. Just the usual.

Another infantry unit comes out of the fog down there. No idea where he's been for the last nine days, but hey, he sure is here now.

Oh for the love of god let me beat this map already

Gareth, you're here, now put the work in. We carried you this far, this is all on you now.

Everyone else either hides in trees or prepares to be a meat shield for Gareth.

Sonja is really not that threatening once you know vaguely where her rockets are.

I will never not be amused by the AI's obsession with capturing buildings.

The formality of having to sit through two days of capturing a HQ is, however, less amusing. I've already won, the game just wants me to do the Advance Wars equivalent of showing my working out.

Squish. Yellow Comet's HQ appears to be a pagoda-like thing. Fitting, I guess.

Out of boredom more than necessity, Fred decides to inconvenience this guy.

With rockets: the most inconvenient thing.

"God, I need to fight SOMETHING." Tina sighs, driving over to the infantry. "They're not that threatening, but these guys'll do."

"Satisfied?" asks Bill. Tina shrugs.


Sonja please. Do something or stop having turns.

...That doesn't count as doing something.



Yeah, that wasn't so bad at all. Yellow Comet has been pretty easy so far, actually. Kanbei had a couple of challenges, but nothing on the level of Grit or Eagle's missions.


Oh, she's analysing us.

A titan. That's a pretty valid way to describe Max, actually.

And hey, you can't spell titan without Tina.

I don't know. Just let it happen, Max.


"Just fuck them right up, Max."


wait, did some

Did someone recognise my tactical ability? Oh my god, I have been waiting for this day.

Sonja is promoted to like, top 3 characters. Good girl.

I AM the strategy guy. Yeah. That's my god damn department alright.

God, I'm so good at tactics.

Hm? Oh, yes, I was listening.

Sonja, hi. We, uh, we already know who you are.

Well, that explains all the yellow units! I had been wondering if the person using yellow units in Yellow Comet was a Yellow Comet CO.

I cannot thank you enough. My new Andy-free existence is a godsend.

Max, now is not the time for a nap

Max! Jesus Christ, man, keep it together!

Oh, I see. You did this.

Max, you're sleeping through the victory screen.

I got an S rank and everything


God damn it. So if we're separated, I can only assume we'll be going to each CO in turn for a solo mission.

Yup. Called it.

Hey, Sami. I'm here!

We were on an entirely different island, Sami. Where the hell were you looking?

He is a soft boy and he needs his naps.

Also chloroform was involved

Sonja gets a slightly smugger talksprite now because the first one wasn't quite smug enough.

God damn you. She realised who the strongest CO was and took him out immediately. Can't blame her for that, it's a solid move.

Apparently Sonja chloroforms people so frequently that Sami already knows that it's her modus operandi. How does Sami know Sonja, anyway, when Max seemed to have never met her before?

Fuck you. There's only two COs in Yellow Comet, and Kanbei isn't smart enough for this kind of tactic. Hardly a deduction.

Here's a sneak peek at Sonja's Google search history.

Sonja, I don't think you understand. You keeping Andy in a box far away from me is a favour. I am not motivated in the least to save him.

Sonja’s interest in games doesn’t end at Yu-Gi-Oh!!, apparently, as now we’ll be playing a spot of Monopoly. What’s after this, Snakes and Ladders?

Quick, we need to pass Go and collect 200!

I call dibs on the top hat!

And well, that sure was an interesting way to set up the next mission. Property capturing, and I can assume it's gonna be Fog of War again... this'll either be a cakewalk or Eagle-tier irritating. We'll find out next time!


The Barracks: Rose and Balthazar 2

Balthazar turns, hearing footsteps behind him. He spots Rose, who stands next to him. The pair of them look out over Yellow Comet, high up on a balcony in the current Orange Star HQ.

“…Do you miss home?” Rose asks eventually.

“Kind of.” Balthazar murmurs. “I… OK, I need to get this off my chest. But you cannot tell anyone, OK?”


Balthazar takes a deep breath. “I used to be a driver in Yellow Comet. It wasn’t great money, but I did alright. My brother, Bankai, never used to talk about his job. We all assumed he was doing secret work for the government or something, because he made an absolute fortune. One night, though, he turned up at my apartment looking dishevelled as all hell, and told me what had happened.”

Rose listens carefully, but she doesn’t stop staring out towards the horizon; she is trying hard not to let her face give her away.

“Turns out he was on the complete opposite side of the coin: he’d shacked up with some less-than-acceptable businessmen. Made all of his money by laundering it. He’d help them get away with some of the stuff they used to do, and in return, they paid him a percentage of their ill-gotten money.”

“I… I see.” Rose murmurs. A flicker of confusion crosses her face.

“He’d screwed up, though. The government had caught wind of their scheme and homed in on any possible suspects. Bankai was under heat, and the authorities were looking for him. He begged me to help him in any way I could, but what could I do about it?”

“…I don’t know.”

“So I did the only thing I could think of.”

Rose is silent.

“Took the fall. Bankai left some incriminating details with me, and I sent him to a place where he could lie low for a while. He’d arranged for an escape by sea, so I fled, and the authorities immediately assumed I was the one who’d organised the scheme.”

“No…” whispered Rose.

“Yeah.” Balthazar said, exhaling. “I love my brother more than anything. I’d rather run from Yellow Comet for the rest of my life than let him get incarcerated. I joined the Orange Star army because I figured it’d be hard for any authorities to track me down here… but I can’t trust anyone.”

“Mm. I understand.” Rose replies. “…Excuse me.”

Balthazar watches her wander away, whispering to herself. “Uh, alright. Please don’t tell anyone what I’ve told you. I cannot afford to have this get out.”

Rose barely hears the request as she clutches her forehead, muttering. “…I… don’t understand. That wasn’t what I was told. That wasn’t anywhere close to what they told me… what is going on here?"