The Let's Play Archive

Advance Wars

by cosmicPostman

Part 36: Drake's Son-Of-A-Bitchery Is Off The Charts

PART 36 - Drake’s Son-Of-A-Bitchery Is Off The Charts

Welcome back, everyone. Sami won the vote, so we'll be playing her map! Let's see how that goes. Ready, Sami?


I'm just hoping that this map isn't too ba

Oh, for fuck's sake.

OK, looks like I have to start a new counter, huh?

Number Of Fog Of War Maps In A Row: 4

Fuck fucking Fog of War so fucking hard. Just give me a map where I can see the enemy units, PLEASE.

I'm just gonna say it. I miss Olaf. And Kanbei.

"I'd say 'shit' if this wasn't family friendly."

We still don't know why though.

Probably because we're an ARMED MILITARY FORCE walking into A COUNTRY WE DO NOT OWN.

It doesn't matter how close I am with my friends, Max - if I walk into their house holding a rocket launcher, they're not going to be impressed.

how is nobody getting this

Oh god. Is this guy going to be trouble?

He seems like a naval specialist, but that's not too bad.

...Besides battleships. They'll be annoying if they get a damage buff. Especially in monkeyfucking Fog of War.

Hooray, I'm right! I feel validated.

Sigh. Armada implies he has a shit-ton of botes. This is not going to be fun.

Dipshit. Please. For the love of god, do not annoy the enemy CO. Just once.

I prefer "Dipshit" myself, but to each their own.

oh boy property capturing my favouriteeeee

I'm sorry, the objective is to capture properties so you feel slightly more safe?

Are we declaring war on Green Earth because you're somewhat uncomfortable?

Fuck you, Sami.

Sigh. Here we go, I suppose.

Alright, strategy-wise, here's the lower part of the map. We start at a serious disadvantage - Drake already has 9 properties, whilst we have only 5. His units can also more easily access the properties down here. So, uh, yeah, we're against the clock.

First things first, Balthazar drops Alfonse and the Rose Rank down on the mainland. We need to get capturing right away, not a moment to lose!

The Rin Roundup, rejoining us once more for another bote map, drops off Von Panzer and the Michael Multitude, who currently has Gareth on hand.

Hm. Fred can't really do much on the mainland. We'll carry him and Vladimir over next turn.

Meanwhile, our naval units will need to make evasive manoeuvres whilst we scope out what kind of heat Drake's packing. Selena heads to the southern reef; I can't quite reach the other with Elvin, so in order to avoid any opponents, he will have to dive this turn.

The Francis Faction and the Lloyd Lads take up their position. Excellent work, team. Please don't die.

The aggressive yellow is now replaced by a more calm green. I'm down with this.

oh god I forgot about his face

"They transformed my face into , and I will never forgive them!"

Thanks to Paul.Power and his fans for this nightmare.

Isn't it "anchors aweigh"?

Yes, yes it is. Thanks, Google. Turns out Drake is a bote casual, but us bote elitists know the truth.

The rest of Drake's turn is ominous movements in the darkness.

Right... well, that was concerning. Sounds like he has a lot of troops.

It is Fog of War and therefore absolutely not

So does the Fog of War

I did that on the first turn, Sami. You just watched me do that. I did that.

Things I Did: That

I'm going with the usual strategy of 'die, then figure out where they are on future attempts'.

Mm. Battleships are certainly annoying for that.

We don't seem to have a choice.

Alright, troops, form up. Let's try not to fail this horribly.

First, let's undive the Elvin Entente and put him in a reef.

Up north, we picked up Fred and Vladimir, and now... yeah, let's drop Gareth here.

Now we've done that, I need to go for those bases. They'll be pretty handy to have.

But hey, there's a city right here, so let's just have Alfonse nab it real quick.

Drake's turn again. Maybe we'll actually see an enemy unit this time.

Well, a sub showed up. I guess that kind of counts.

And a battleship, cooooool

Also, it starts raining.

No, they never explain what rain does, why it happens or when it occurs.

Alright, we got the other two over here. Let's just conquer this entire northern part of the island... being wary of possible battleships in the water on the other side.

The Alfonse Alliance does the usual capturing thing.

Gareth makes a start, too.

Since the Vladimir Volunteers aren't in range of a property, though, we'll move Michael up and ferry him to one of them next turn.


The sub comes out of nowhere and goes for the one ship it can find.

Francis sighs. "To search for foes in Fog of War / Is to hurt yourself more."

Yeah, that wasn't a good move on Drake's part.

A cruiser joins the party. So, hey, guess which two terrified subs will stay in their reefs forever?

It was only whilst screenshotting the footage that I realised



I still don't have a good idea of when rain happens, though, but hey, let's take advantage of the sunny weather whilst we can.


Alfonse has moved onto pastures new, now aiming for one of the two bases.

Francis is going to show this sub why it's an idiot.


Elvin, just squeak that last bit of HP off, would you?

You're a star.

It occurs to me that with a cruiser and subs lurking around, it might be wise to put the Balthazar Boat and the Rin Roundup in reefs whilst they're not in use.

OK, Rin can't quite get to her reef, but she'll (probably) be fine.

Get going, Vladimir!

Michael drops him off at the base. May as well pick up both of them.

Drake continues to make me nervous every time his turn comes up. I've missed something crucial. I KNOW it.



The battleship decides to reveal Elvin, like an asshole.

And so the enemy cruiser immediately homes in on him.

Fuck the AI in this game.

Yowch, Elvin, you good?

Come on, my dude. Just keep focussed.

How has he only got 2 properties left to capture? Is there just a whole platoon of 8 infantry units in the dark where I can't see?

Lloyd attacks. In my distraction, I apparently didn't screenshot the combat itself, but hey, he reduced the thing to 2 HP. Perfect for Francis to finish off!

I did the thing again.

To be fair, it's been a while since I made a unit wait because I forgot they couldn't attack a certain unit type. But boy, is it ever demoralising when it happens.

Well, I guess that's why Selena was invented.


The Elvin Entente, meanwhile, will just poke this battleship gently.


OK, that tank from before obviously slowly came through the forest. Let's park Gareth here for now to block off any more possible visitors.

The Rose Rank, meanwhile, will greet this visitor.

I think they got the message.

Up north, meanwhile, I was right - there's more botes. I sneak Rin into the reef and narrowly avoid all the murderers.

My gauge is full, too. Lemme just check what Sami's power does aga-

God dammit.

You check powers on the CO menu, not clicking Power on the menu. Of course.

Welp, I guess we're just using this now, then.

Look at that extra-hard capturing our units are doing.

But hey, we got a base! That's handy.

Von Panzer can finish this guy off, too.


Now, I'm no psychic, but if I just got my power, I can only assume...



Whilst his dudes capture property, I try and recover emotionally from that. Seems like it does 1 damage to every unit on the field. I really, really hope that it can't kill units at 1 HP.


Ow. Sorry, Francis!

Francis falls back, but looks oddly at peace. "To die is something we will all know / But I am not afraid which way I go / By the lull of tomorrow's rain / We will do this dance again."

Lo and behold, it's raining again.

I can at least poke this guy with the Selena Set.

Yeah, that'll teach you. God, that Tsunami's real annoyance is how much it's bothering my OCD.

The Lloyd Lads also decide to chip in. This battleship is just annoying me, and if it's going to saunter into enemy territory, I'm going to put the fear of god into it.

There we go. If we're lucky, Elvin can sink it now.

...If we're lucky, Elvin can do one damage to it now.

We were lucky! Well done, Elvin Entente.

And we capture more buildings. With all the naval combat, I forgot that this map was about property capture.

Alright, second base. We have a foothold on the middle island now!

This guy also showed up. I will be killing him to set an example to the rest of Drake's men.

Eh, five damage is close enough.

You did good, Gareth. Up here, I'm deploying the Patrick Posse to help back up Fred. Michael's been positioned there to eat any battleship fire that we might suffer.

Come on, Drake, what've you got for us this turn?!

This guy wanders over to try capturing my city.

Uh, hi Nell. It's the middle of Drake's turn. What are you doing here?

I agree it's dangerous though. Also, I miss you.

Next time..? Ah. He got all the properties, didn't he.

God fucking dammit.

...Right. Just gotta get a ton of properties in Fog of War, fighting a CO who can damage every single one of my units and has buffed battleships guarded by cruisers, starts with more properties than me and starts with more convenient access to properties. Seems totally fine.

OK. Next time, we do this again. This was my very first attempt at this map, to be fair. I decided to keep the footage because it's been a while since I blindly did a map and took a mulligan, and I want to keep you guys on your toes. Next time, we do this map properly, and win!

...Please give me advice if you have it.


The Barracks: Lucy and Ingo 1

Lucy watches Ingo for a good few minutes, whispering to Tina and Cassandra, before finally standing up and walking over to where he’s sitting. He watches all of this with disinterested eyes, and Lucy finally sits beside him.

“Um, h-hello!” she says, nervously tapping her fingers on the table.

“Hey.” Ingo says. “You’re Lucy, right? Bomber pilot?”

“That’s me.” Lucy replies, blushing. “I didn’t think you’d remember me!”

“I saw you in a couple of battles. So, uh, what brings you over to talk to me?”

“I wanted to see if you were OK. I know you lost Eric and Bill recently. Don’t be afraid to reach out!”

Ingo sits for a moment, closing his eyes tightly. “…Yeah. Bill told me that we were going to lose people. I’ve resigned myself to that fact now. But he called me out for not befriending anyone. I didn’t want to make friends because I might lose them.”

“Yeah.” Lucy says. “I get that. I’ve been avoiding talking to you for… much the same reason, I suppose. My dad also doesn’t show his face often, unless it’s at the bar. He prefers to be alone.”

“Bill said I need to make friends though. So we can support each other when we lose people. I don’t think he expected to go just a day or two after he told me that, and I… I still really miss him, but… but…”

Ingo stares at the long cut on his hand.

"It’d be nice to have some friends my age.”

“You want to be friends?” Lucy asks.

Ingo nods. He seems to be struggling internally. “…Yeah. What do you guys do for fun?”

“Usually take flights around or work on my bomber. But you gotta let me ride in your artillery! I wanna know what it’s like!”

“Heh.” Ingo says, smirking. “Well, you came to the right guy. I’m the best artillery user in the entire Orange Star army. I can show you after lunch, if you want?”

“Yes, sounds good!” Lucy replies, smiling. “And, Ingo?”


Lucy places a hand on the table and grins. “I’m not going anywhere. I promise!”

Ingo turns his eyes down and smiles to himself. “Thank you, Lucy."