Part 21: Interview 11 - “Into The Adder’s Nest” (Or, “Now I Am Become Grit”)

Interview 11 - “Into The Adder’s Nest” (Or, “Now I Am Become Grit”)

Hello, Commander. Let's get on with the next mission.

And who was that? The new kid?



Grit, actually. I believe you're familiar with him?

Ah, one of the only COs that I respect a little bit. Yeah, I know Grit well.



It's gonna be fun watching him murder someone else's units for a change, that's for sure.

Grit! Curses, man! What are you doing?!

Uhh? Who… What’s all the ruckus? Even the chickens are still sleepin’. Oh, Olaf… Yaaaaawwwnn!

Open your eyes and get up, you lazy scoundrel! I entrusted the defence of these mountains to you! Who do you think you are, lollygagging about like…

Bleh, sounds like Olaf is a really strict boss. Though, admittedly, Grit probably shouldn't be sleeping on the job.

Calm down there, O Bearded One. No need to get all riled up. If things get a bit dicey, we can always sound the retreat. I doubt the enemy’s gonna do anything too rash.

Heheh. O Bearded One.

Is this why you respect Grit? Because he has the same level of complete contempt for his colleagues that you do?

You fool! Let me tell you something…

What? No.

……

What? What is it? Don’t attempt to divert my wrath with that dour look of yours!

...Yes.

I do believe that someone’s payin’ us a visit.

What? Grit! Where do you think you’re going? Grit!



Are you sure you didn't name the missions?

I wasn't even in the universe at the time, Ruin. Besides, if I'd named this mission, it'd be like... "Fuckloads of Tanks". I'm not an exclamation point kind of guy.



OH JOY FOG OF WAR.

And plenty of medium tanks. The enemy is finally using your strategy - just buying a million medium tanks.

It's a valid strategy!



Goin’ head-to-head with those boys makes no sense at all.

Very perceptive, Commander Grit.

Black Hole Army, huh?

My name is Adder. I came here specifically to offer you a proposition.

A proposition?

Yes. Let me cut to the chase. We’d like you to join the Black Hole Army. What do you say?

Pardon?

You possess such skill… Wasting it for Blue Moon is such a shame. You don’t really buy into the whole “protect and serve” business, right? Dying to save a country you care nothing for? Admit it. It’s nonsense.

……

.......

You can see with your own eyes, the might of our army. We passed through several cities on our way here… Heh heh… Crushing them beneath our boots took no time at all.

……

Be it Blue Moon or any other country, no one can stop us. Come, Grit. You know that joining us is the smart thing to do.

My dude? You've gone quiet.

Well now… You got one thing right. I never did care much which territory belonged to which country. I couldn’t have cared less if y’all decided to set up shop here.

I... kind of understand it. After learning that other whole universes exist, and that I'm just one many, it did make me think... what ties do I actually have to Orange Star? Would I serve other countries if they asked?

Heh heh heh… In that case…

However…

I just served Orange Star because they were the ones that hired me. There was nothing more to it than that. I didn't fight Black Hole because I felt personally threatened... it was because I wanted to prove myself, and prevent my troops from dying.

Hm?

However… You’ve got no call to be treating the folks who live here any way you please.

That's honestly why I was afraid to propose to Nell. That's why she had to propose to me, instead. I was... afraid that it would only take a little bit of coaxing to make me turn tail and join another country.

What?!?

You destroyed whole cities? You did just say that, right? Well, listen here, I don’t care how powerful you say you are… You, Adder, are now my number-one enemy.

Commander. I've spent a lot of time with you now, and I believe that you are a good man. You may not have realised at the time, but I am certain that your primary motivation for fighting Sturm was not Nell, or your troops, or even your ego... it was because he was an evil man, and you were a good man. More importantly, a good man with the skills and talent to thwart that evil man's desires. That's all.

...Thank you, Ruin. You're right. I serve Orange Star because they're good people, and because I'm a good person. I guess when you strip everything away, that's all it is.

Heh heh… If that’s the way you want it, I’ll destroy you here as well! Md tanks, advance! Grind this fool to dust!

Now let's watch some tanks die.

Sounds good to me.



We have a few new units joining us, too. Here are the notes.

EVA
Age: 24
Personality: Studious compulsive gambler.
Proficiencies: Rockets, Missiles, Battleship

ANATOLY
Age: 25
Personality: Satisfied with life.
Proficiencies: Missiles, Rockets, Artillery

ELENA
Age: 33
Personality: An expert sharpshooter.
Proficiencies: APC, Infantry, Tank

YAKOV
Age: 19
Personality: Sullen, silent twin.
Proficiencies: Recon, Fighter, Transport Copter

INESSA
Age: 19
Personality: Cheerful, talkative twin.
Proficiencies: Artillery, Rockets, Recon

TODAY’S DEPLOYMENTS
Eva, Rockets
Anatoly, Rockets
Valentin, Rockets
Mark, Rockets
Ivan, Artillery
Peter, Artillery
Boris, Infantry
Elena, Infantry
Ludmilla, Recon
Eduard, Recon
Yakov, Recon
Inessa, Recon

Aw, these guys look fun. Twins, too, how interesting.



First things first, I suppose those infantry on the mountains are in immediate danger.



Indeed they are. Boris and Elena will be making an immediate retreat.



What are they, also?

We'll get to those.



There are quite a lot of similar units. So. Up north, we have Mark, Ivan and Ludmilla. The recons on the far right there are Yakov and Inessa. You can ignore them - they won't move for the rest of the map. And down below, we have Eduard, Peter and Anatoly. The two rockets on the left there are Eva and Valentin. With me?

Not really, but continue.



There isn't much to do on the first turn, so Eva fires on the medium tank in range.



Up here, meanwhile, Ivan and Ludmilla are cautiously advancing to see what's in the fog.



It's bastards. It's always bastards in the fog.



A recon appears to take a pot shot at Elena.

Gasp! I’ve been misled! There’s units other than tanks here!



I mean, there's certainly a majority of tanks. Look at this.

Speaking as the guy who loves buying unnecessary amounts of medium tanks... this might be too many medium tanks.

I never thought I'd ever hear you say that.



Well, hey, at least they're all in range now.

True. This should be a good turn for Grit.



Hey, Olaf! What in tarnation are they?

Those are missile silos. Infantry and mech units can use them to launch a single missile. They can strike anything on the field of battle.

Well I’ll be… A distance weapon… That’s nice. I wonder which of us has the better range of fire.

Why did they only introduce all the fun new toys after I left?

Fool! It’s a weapon, not a rival! Those missiles have a wide blast radius, so watch for your own troops. You can check the blast radius by pressing the R Button.

Zippity doo dah!

Back to-

Sorry, is that how that conversation ends? “Zippity doo dah”?

Uh. Yes.



Boris and Elena now have a goal - to reach the missile silos. Though Elena will stop on the HQ for a while to heal the damage she took.



And Mark makes a start on the medium tanks heading north. Luckily, rockets are quite good against medium tanks.

Especially Grit's rockets. This dude is a monster, and with a fortified position like this, he's practically guaranteed to win.



Valentin goes for the recon, meanwhile. They've got more mobility and vision than medium tanks, so taking them out is useful. Especially since without defensive terrain, Grit can easily defeat them in a single hit.



Oh, good, they do the same to mechs, too. They can cross mountains and do a lot of damage to ranged units. Best to get them out of the way as soon as they show up.

Anatoly does a good job, certainly.



Eva takes a shot at the recon, but the forest terrain prevents it from being defeated.



And the rest of the units retreat - there's tanks on the way, after all.



More recons, that's fun.



More alarmingly, the medium tanks up north are advancing.

Pfft. Hit 'em with rockets, that's all you need.



This is a hilarious map. It's just "hey, remember Grit? Good, now enjoy the euphoria of destroying everything."

You've had a silly grin on your face the whole time. Are you fond of ranged units, by any chance, Commander?

Look, I'm just saying. Medium tanks are the best. But artilleries are ALSO the best.

All this damage to the medium tanks is charging up Adder's CO meter, though. Take a look.





Oh, that's interesting. So he's got no particular strengths but he can spam his CO Power? ...What is his CO Power, anyway?

It's literally on the next page, my dude. Just turn it over.





"We made a CO with a really strong passive ability, so we gave him a shit power to compensate."

You won't be saying that when 4-movement mechs come knocking at your door.



Blergh. Speaking of mechs, there's one there. Looks like Eva has it covered, though.



Quite. Grit moves Valentin down, though, since the medium tanks will soon be out of his range.



Anatoly turns to Valentin and nods as he fires off his rockets. "Sup."

"Hello." Valentin says, nodding. "Looks like there's more tanks around here. Let's cut through them immediately so I can rest."

"Tired? It's first thing in the morning."

"If there's one thing working under Grit has taught me," Valentin says, leaning back and yawning. "It's the ability to nap under pressure."

Anatoly does manage to take out the mech, though.



And this medium tank has the poor fortune of being in Grit's artillery range. Peter in his artillery does just as much damage as rockets.



Mark aims for the tank at the back of the group and opens fire.

Ahah... I see what Grit's doing.

Oh?



Yeah, now Ivan is going to go for that middle tank. He's trying to spread out the damage. Once the tanks get weak enough, they'll start joining, which will cost them turns, and crucially, cut down on the number of targets that Grit needs to face.

I see. Taking them out one at a time would be just as fast, but they would also be advancing more quickly since they wouldn't waste turns joining.

I told you, Ruin, this guy's the real deal. He's damn good.



He certainly doesn't give that impression. I suppose that's his greatest strength, really.



Ah, he's got his Super CO Power. This will be mildly inconvenient.





Only mildly, though.



Ah, damn, a mech's crossed the mountains. Thank god that city distracted this idiot.



This one is slightly more focussed on his goal and shoots at Eva.

"Hey, guys? Nothing to worry about, per se, but I'm in a bind here; can someone cover me?"

"Mark, you're in range." orders Boris. "You can fire on the mech targeting Eva, and she'll take out the one near to you."

Mark sighs. "Fine."

He begins turning his rockets' aim towards the enemy mech near Eva.



Grit's full of tricks, though. I'm sure you knew that, though.



Oh, yeah, of course. Here it comes...



Plus, Boris is close enough to activate the missile silos. So let's see what they're like.

Nice! I hope they're good.





Hi Nell. I always forget that she shows up at the weirdest times.



The blast radius is quite large, as you can see. Though, of course, it does target friendly units too.



And one explosion later...



Three damage? Goddamn. I was hoping for more... and it doesn't kill, though I wasn't expecting it to kill.

It's extra damage, at least.





Mark and Eva play a fun game of "help, cover my back, I'm a ranged unit" with each other.



That is a frankly exorbitant rocket range. Is that Valentin?

Indeed. Valentin, even from all the way down there, can easily dispatch that irksome mech.



With most of his threats out of the way now, Eduard heads south to give more vision to the rockets.



Aaaaand he found an enemy medium tank. Not good.





Thankfully, Anatoly and Peter have just enough firepower between them to take it out. Eduard will live another day, provided he doesn't do that again.



Oh, and Ivan up north can bring that 7HP tank down to 1HP. There's going to be some joining next enemy phase, for sure.



Most of the threats have been pretty much neutered by this point, I must say.



...And the remaining threats are somewhat more interested in capturing property than attacking nearby rockets.

The more things change, the more they capture property.



Oh, wow. Due to the mountains, the only thing that can attack Peter is that useless recon.

At the time I didn't remember being too impressed, but now that you've explained a lot of your strategies, I'm starting to see just how skilled some of these COs are.



Oh yeah, they're pretty talented. Except Dipshit. And look, just as I thought - he got all the tanks up north to join, so they haven't moved forward at all.



How impressive. So, the next move is to destroy them.

You know it.



Unfortunately, there isn't an option to do so here - Boris heads north to the other silo, whilst Elena discovers that silos can only be used once.

One use and only three damage? Man. I guess it is like Meteor Strike, which is pretty strong. There just weren't enough targets in one space to properly make use of them here.



Indeed. Grit's natural ranged superiority makes them superfluous anyway - Eva picks off the enemy mech with little trouble.



And Mark bullies that full-health medium tank. Speaking of ranged superiority, what skills would you have if you were a CO, Ruin?

If I was a CO? I hadn't thought about it.



We're getting off-topic. Ivan defeats one of the medium tanks.

Aw, I wanted to see your Advance Warssona. That's probably not a real thing.



It's definitely not a real thing. Anyway, the enemies down below aren't much of a threat either. Valentin deletes that recon without an issue.



Peter is in range to destroy that rightmost medium tank, which he does quite efficiently.



But that other medium tank is just inside Anatoly's minimum range. I guess that's why he goes for the other one.

I wouldn't worry. It won't last long.





Well, a few things moved around but otherwise that was the usual end-of-map-nothing-happened-turn.

Ah, excellent. Well, Grit, you've done well so far. Show us how it ends!



It ends with rockets and missiles.

I mean, yeah, I figured. Where's Boris aiming for?



There's a tiny bit of friendly fire as Peter is in the blast radius.

He'll be fine.



Blammo!

"Gah!" yells Peter as the missile blast thunders through the forest where his artillery unit is stationed. "This pain rips through my vehicle, but it hurts my heart more. To suffer for your country is to love your country... ooh, that sounds good. I should write that down."

"You're not gonna get much sympathy, you know." Ivan says. "Dimitri and the other Blue Moon veterans took multiple meteors to the face in our last campaign. A tiny missile blast is nothing for them, but eh, what do they know?"



One...



Two...



And three! Nice.



With an efficient use of the units up here, too, Grit can clean up quite easily. First, Ivan deletes that medium tank.



As established earlier, rockets make short work of recons. Mark does what can only be described as "absolutely brutalising the poor sod".



My god! Is that Ludmilla, a direct unit, about to perform direct combat in a Grit mission? I can't believe this.

Well, it finished the map.



Yeah, fuck you, Adder.

What happened? My Md tank brigade… Routed? Hsss! Retreat!

In his defence, there are very few things that can punch through the versatile strategy of "a million medium tanks".

Grit! Where are you, Grit? Forcing that villain Adder to retreat, it was quite…

I get... the slightest sense of romance between these two.

Hm? What was that? Something I can do for you, Frosty?

I fully agree. God, I love Grit. Have I said that yet?

You…you impertinent fool! Is this the way you speak to your commander? Stand right there! I’m going to teach you a lesson!

Not in front of the boy. Hey, son, I’m gonna catch some shut-eye. You’re in charge.

Aw, no fighting in front of the kid. They're so absolutely his parents.

Um… Huh?! Me? Did you mean me?

Aarrgh! Grit! Hold it right there!

I must admit, I am fond of this ragtag group of misfits. Blue Moon was most welcoming.





Wow, Grit just straight up will cap a bitch. I could never carry a gun. I don't get it. You know what I mean?

...No, I don't. Because I am a, you know, police officer, and I carry a gun at all times.



Wait, what? Do you have one now?!

This is my handgun, called Hati.

That does look very cool, to be fair.

Thank you. Anyway, there are five missions available now.



Olaf's Tangle With A Big Ol' Missile,



Grit Can't See The Wood For The Cannons,



Colin's Lost Some Land,



Hot Colin On Lash Action,



and The Assault On Another One Of These Goddamn Labs. That is quite a bit!

Quite so. Next time, we shall see where we head next. For now, though, let's talk about Dudecon.

OK, but after that, we're gonna make you an Advance Warsona.

...I'll think about it.

***

Part 11 Additional