Part 44: Interview 22 - Fortress Assault (Or, All Copters Are Bastards)Interview 22 - Fortress Assault (Or, All Copters Are Bastards)
Welcome back, my dude. I trust you remember where we got up to?
The army was beginning their assault on the fortress - the northern team of Andromeda, Khepri, Iago and Leopold led by Rose, and the southern team of Dymek, Lysander/Talora, Aymil, Minerva, Vanessa, Ellis, Casildo and Sofia led by Kyril.
Oh, yeah, this is ringing a bell now. Leopold's continuing to bully the cannon, I see.
Yes, but even in her weakened state, Rose still does twice the damage of Leopold.
Khepri might not be a heavy hitter, but she's got just enough damage to get the first cannon destroyed.
you don't need to do the sound effects
Down below, Dymek moves into the trees; next turn he'll be able to do heavy damage to the surprise rockets, which will allow the southern team to properly begin their assault.
And Minerva's capturing more buildings. I suppose it'll be useful for healing units that take too much damage, even if the money's not important.
That's true. A nearby healing spot can save several turns at crucial junctures.
The army organises itself like so. The next day, however, will be quite action-oriented.
But not for Adder?
But not for Adder. He continues to do nothing.
Now it begins. Dymek opens fire on the enemy rockets.
Now we've got the surprise rockets, bitch!
And that allows Casildo to snag a kill here. He is in range of the cannon, however, so he'll be taking a bit of damage this turn.
Minerva's captured a useless building, also. Hurrah.
In more exciting news, Rose turns her sights on the cannon next to her and blasts away at it.
Though he's officially with the northern group, Leopold heads down to help out the southern group, who still haven't taken out a single cannon.
In their defence, they had rockets to take care of- oh wait, Rose also took out some rockets. Jeez, southern team, get your fucking act together.
Most of them have moved forward now - crucially, Kyril is in range to start attacking the cannons.
Casildo gets shot.
I'm no expert, but that looks like it should do a whole lot more than 3 damage.
Also, his cannons might be firing, but where's the rest of Adder's army? He must have more surprise rockets. There's always more surprise rockets.
Aymil, carrying Lysander/Talora, and Vanessa, go scouting forward, and discover more of Adder's army. Unfortunately for them, Vanessa's right in range of that medium tank.
Sonja has to be doing this on purpose. Vanessa's gonna get destroyed if she keeps frontlining like this.
Ah, Kyril's taking her place. It's still gonna sting, being hit by a medium tank.
Correct, but in his current position, he's out of range of the artillery and the cannons, so he should survive one hit, at least.
Sofia continues chipping away at this cannon.
Leopold does the same, but the going is slow. These cannons are not easy to destroy.
They're really goddamn bulky. Anti-airs barely scratch them, so chances are stuff like infantry and recons don't do any damage at all.
Khepri hides in the trees, whilst Andromeda moves forward, and discovers even more stationary enemies.
Oh dear god it's a bomber.
"I have some intel..." murmurs Andromeda.
"Go for it, Andromeda." commands Rose. The moment Andromeda has relayed the information, Rose nods.
"Oh dear god it's a bomber." says Khepri.
"Worry not - this is why I brought you two anti-airs. I expected copters and bombers, and I knew tanks would barely scratch them. Ladies - keep yourselves hidden for now."
"Hidden? Shouldn't we attack before they find us?" asks Khepri.
"No." Rose mutters. "We'll attack the copter, but not yet. It's possible that they're bait for something even more dangerous - plus, I have a plan for the bomber. I'm going to destroy it without even attacking it."
"And how will you do that, madam?" Leopold asks.
"You'll see. Watch and learn."
Rose turns to her transceiver and switches to Sonja's frequency. "Lower team's got no anti-air support. I'd suggest deploying someone. If we've got copters up here, chances are there's more copters down there."
"I thought the same; I've already deployed Fadel." Sonja says.
"Good." Rose replies. "Let's finish this battle quickly, then."
"Don't worry: my plans always work out." Sonja replies, adjusting her glasses. "Because guess what, Adder?"
AW YEAH IT'S- uh, what is her Super CO Power again?
Counter Break - a strategic tool that massively increases the damage of counterattacks and renders Sonja able to see more of the map than before, including forests.
And wouldn't you know it? Just as Rose predicted, there was a trap lying in wait for any anti-airs who went for the bomber and copter. Your old nemesis, surprise rockets.
Damn, good job they didn't go for the bomber. I'm still curious as to how she's going to deal with it without actually attacking. Maybe deploying some missiles? Hm.
Either way, this is the most interesting part of Sonja's plan. Take note of this Adder turn.
Take note? But he didn't do anything!
OOOOOOH. The medium tank didn't attack Kyril! I'm guessing because the counter damage would have been way too much to deal with.
Dymek is out of range right now; Sonja needed to buy a turn for him to move closer, so that when the medium tank attacks Kyril, it parks itself directly in range of Dymek's rockets. The counter damage plus the rockets will be enough to negate it as an issue.
So the SCOP wasn't intending to lure the medium tank in at all... it was used as a way of buying Sonja one extra day to move Dymek into place. Genius.
Oh, it gets better. Want to know how Rose is going to destroy the bomber without attacking it?
Damn. It uses five units per day, so in another couple of days it'll just explode! Not bad, Rose... not bad at all.
I see Sofia and Leopold are continuing to poke this cannon with sticks. I suppose they're whittling it down slowly, but there must be a faster way to do it.
Well, Dymek would help, but he's got his hands full defeating Adder's army. The cannons can be easily worked around since they don't move, so they're not high priority right now.
And the newly-deployed Fadel that Sonja mentioned earlier makes his way over to the southern team. He'll be helping out just in case enemy copters show up.
Copters... grr. Flying enemies are irritating, especially with Adder giving them additional movement. They can mess up a lot of strategies.
Especially your favourite strategy: chokepoints.
Actually, chokepoints are my third favourite strategy.
Braddock, now having caught up, wastes no time in blasting half this cannon's HP in a single hit. What are your favourite strategies, anyway?
Well, my top five are... let's see here... fifth is having two artilleries with overlapping ranges. There's not much that can really stand up to two artilleries firing on them.
The lower group gets into this position, as Kyril braces himself for the medium tank's attack.
Number four is APC-baiting. Can't beat a good old APC being the best bait in the world. And then third, as we've established, is finding a chokepoint and holding it.
The medium tank attacks, but thanks to Kyril's stronger counterattacks, they both end up at 6HP.
Second is having more than one medium tank. That counts as a strategy, I promise.
If you say so.
And my all-time favourite strategy is fucking off and letting someone else do it. Preferably with Lucy logging it all down.
I'm not convinced that counts as a strategy either, if I'm honest.
Shut up, it totally is.
As planned, Dymek is in range of the medium tank, and eliminates it with a single shot.
Man, counting down was fun. I should totally start an Advance Wars YouTube channel.
My dude. I mean this is the kindest possible way. I would not subscribe to your channel.
Leopold takes another shot, and now the cannon's just one hit away from being destroyed.
And Sofia's done it! Beautiful.
This also has another useful advantage.
"Hey, folks," Aymil says, driving up to what was recently the site of a huge Black Hole cannon. "Looks like I'm just in time to refuel the pair of you. Took several shots to clear that thing, huh?"
"Yes, the ammo refill will be most useful. Thank you for your kindness, Aymil! But aren't you supposed to be heading west?" asks Leopold.
"Well, generally, yeah." Lysander says from inside Aymil's APC.
Talora gestures to the dense fog hanging around the edges of the fortress to the west. "We just can't move forward until we're sure it's safe. There could be copters in the fog, so we're hanging back whilst the rest of these guys clear the enemies out."
"Makes perfect sense." Sofia murmurs. "We'd best get going, then..."
Now that Kyril's dealt with the medium tank, he heads back to begin attacking this other cannon. It's problematic to move the southern group past it, so getting rid of it will be useful.
And also destroying it is necessary to beat the mission.
Yes, that too.
Up here, Braddock destroys another cannon.
"Two down now. Excellent work, Braddock." Rose says. "Kyril, how are you getting on?"
"We're close to destroying our second." Kyril replies. "I didn't think they would be so difficult to scratch..."
"Well, let's keep it up! Gotta push ahead!" says Khepri.
"It's not a competition..." replies Kyril, but Vanessa is already revving up her recon unit in anticipation.
"Oh yes it is. Come on, southern group! Let's not lose to Rose! That's almost as bad as losing to Sonja."
"Oh, brother..." Lysander says, chuckling to himself.
This is normally the part where I'd say something like "Adder isn't going to take this attack on his fortress lying down", but...
Ooh, he does have his CO Power though.
I can assure you, my dude...
It was completely useless.
Come on, Adder. This is embarrassing.
In a bid to beat the northern team, Sofia continues to attack this cannon.
That's not actually very efficient. Kyril can destroy it in three hits anyway, so that extra damage doesn't do anything except waste Sofia's turn.
Sonja's plan was to eradicate it in two turns, actually.
Unfortunately, Casildo isn't quite up to doing the job.
He is on 7HP, though. Leopold isn't damaged, so he should be able to finish this thing off.
Sonja had the same thought, but...
Oh, come on. 3% is just rude. I assume she doesn't attack with Casildo or Leopold, then?
She does not. No point taking extra unnecessary damage.
Though many of the direct combat units struggle, Dymek has no trouble halving the health of an enemy cannon, which he does so.
The northern team are already moving to the other side of the fortress, though. Sticking to the trees, I see.
That reminds me, it's time for the fireworks to begin.
As the northern group stare up at the bomber, it explodes, causing most of them to recoil in surprise.
"How did she..." breathes Braddock. "That was awesome!"
"My talents were never in doubt. You should be a bit safer moving around now, Khepri, Andromeda."
Andromeda allows herself the tiniest smile as she observes the northern group's excitement at their ACO's unforeseen bomber-destroying powers.
"We'll do our best..."
Nothing else of note happened, though.
Honestly, it was worth it for that bomber.
Fadel moves out to attack that enemy artillery; given that Sonja's intel suggests primarily copter-based enemies during this section of the map, anti-airs are actually a good front-line option here. The copters won't dare to approach them carelessly.
Sofia decides to attack the cannon once more.
And Casildo finishes it off! We didn't even need Kyril for that one, so he can go an attack the one to his left-
Not quite - Dymek takes care of that one. Two cannons in a single turn.
Not bad, southern team. So what's Kyril's job?
If by 'Kyril' you meant 'Minerva', and if by 'job' you meant 'property to capture', it would be this property to the south of the fortress.
That is not what I meant and you know it.
Aymil also refuels Dymek and Minerva. It's not too important for Minerva, but Dymek will be useful against the cannons, so keeping his ammo stocked is rather useful.
See, as much as this map is an absolute bitch, it's nice to see supplying being a more important feature of a map. Usually the maps are never long enough to warrant refuelling being necessary.
Quite. The APC's talents shine here, really.
As for your previous question, if by 'Kyril' you meant 'Kyril', and if by 'job' you meant 'job', his job is to destroy this artillery.
Good for him.
The northern group, meanwhile, sneak forward. The rockets are close by, so they've got to carefully approach this enemy copter if they're to take it out safely.
Plus there's probably more copters around. Every time you think they've all gone, boom, another one comes out of the fog and stabs your infantry.
I don't believe battle copters are equipped with knives.
This map's been going on a while now. 23 days, I'd have never had the patience for this.
It's a good job you're not the one doing it, then. Anyway, Minerva captures some more property.
As you can see, Dymek's moved into a prime position to target the northern cannons, which should help. Also, Aymil refuels the front-runners for the southern group, as well as moving himself and Lysander/Talora closer to the city they need to capture.
Oh, yeah, the lab map! Almost forgot about that. Again.
Sofia pokes another cannon. It is somewhat effective.
And finally, after being taunted by it for a week or something, Andromeda opens fire on this copter. No bomber to worry about, and if she attacks it from here, she's out of the rockets' range.
She is in cannon range, though. If there's more copters, they might have a decent matchup against a 4HP anti-air.
You're underestimating Sonja and Rose, my dude. Andromeda joins with Khepri to restore their HP. Even if the cannon targets them, they'll still only be on 7HP.
Man, those two really do think of everything. And Braddock's headed into the forest next to the girls. He'll be able to eliminate those rockets next turn, for sure.
Furthermore, Fadel with the southern group is in range to head up and make a head-start on bullying those pesky rockets.
Huh. If there's no more surprise copters, the map's pretty much done.
Well, there's a cannon, and it blasts Andromeda/Khepri.
Eh, they can walk it off.
Oh my god, more surprise copters? Seriously?
In fairness, you jinxed it before.
Sigh. I suppose I did.
So, time to eradicate these last few minor inconveniences.
First things first, Dymek does heavy rocket damage to the last southern cannon.
Boy, I love rockets.
And Fadel does absolutely preposterous amounts of damage to this battle copter.
Serves the bro copter right for hiding in the fog. Dick.
Casildo fires on the cannon, but Sonja, well aware that there may be more surprises in the midst, decides to take more precautions.
Ah, Sofia and Casildo join. Yeah, that's probably a good call.
And Leopold can finally get rid of those surprise rockets, thank god.
Are they still surprise rockets if you've known about them for half the map?
Yes. Oh, nice, Khepri/Andromeda are just gonna poke that copter, and that should be the last of them.
You really need to stop saying things like that.
How many bro copters can one map have?!
Furthermore, Rose and Braddock are running low on fuel. This map needs to end soon.
At least they won't fucking explode if they run out.
True, they don't have the same problems of planes and boats. The map is almost done, though - Kyril finishes off the last of the southern cannons.
"Yes! We win!" crows Vanessa, jeering at the northern group.
"I..." says Lysander, turning to Talora in the APC. "Can she call it 'we' when she didn't contribute anything to destroying the cannons?"
"I suppose not. But she's happy, and that in itself is nice." Talora replies warmly. "Aymil, we should be making a move, shouldn't we?"
"Yeah, you're right." Aymil replies, preparing to drive the APC further ahead. "Let's get moving."
Whilst Minerva captures more property, Aymil drops Talora/Lysander off. They've been placed behind the rest of the units - close enough to start capturing next turn, but still safe from the copter for this turn.
Yeah, that's always good.
Man, Sonja started this map at quite the disadvantage, but she's really pulled through. Not a single unit lost so far.
My dude, are you trying to jinx it right at the end?
Oh, god, sorry.
I SAID I WAS SORRY ADDER DON'T KILL SOMEONE PLEASE
Thanks to Sonja and Rose's forward thinking, Sofia/Casildo survive.
oh thank god
Now then, all that's left is a couple of cannons.
Dymek moves into a prime spot to fire on the remaining cannons next turn, since his instant 55% damage is rather useful.
Especially since our medium tanks are not in great shape right now.
First things first, Fadel takes out the copter.
Please, for the love of fuck, tell me that was the last one.
Lysander/Talora begin capturing the property where, if the intel is to be trusted, the map is located.
Oh, and Kyril's gone to help the northern group. I guess they were all one big group after all.
I- yes. Of course they were. They're the same army.
Braddock, being undamaged, does rather heavy damage to this cannon. Dymek will be able to finish it next turn.
As Rose directs her medium tank squad to open fire on the cannon ahead of her, she breathes in and out carefully. "Ahh... I can sense the fog clearing. We'll be through the worst of it soon enough."
"If you say so, Rose." replies Khepri. "Let's keep it up then! This fortress is nothing compared to the might of the Yellow Comet Army!"
Minerva captures some more property. It didn't come in useful, but you have to appreciate her dedication.
Sonja elects to use her CO Power, mostly just in case there's any last-minute surprises before the map ends.
I swear, if there's any more god damn copters-
Thankfully not. Everything has been accounted for.
Rose casually tanks a huge-ass cannon like it's nothing. Good girl.
And there's plenty to do on the last day. First things first, Lysander and Talora locate something of interest.
Ah! Its a map! A map showing the location of their lab! This must be where theyre developing those new weapons weve heard about. Please deliver this to my father! He will send reinforcements for sure.
YC Soldier: Yes, maam! Ill deliver it to CO Kanbei right away!
Now, I just have to do something with this mess.
"Now I've gotta deal with this", she says, like she isn't in the perfect position to immediately end the map.
There is the slightest hint of smugness, isn't there?
Dymek takes out one cannon...
And Braddock eliminates the other. The great fortress of Black Hole has fallen, without a single casualty, to an eleven-year-old and her teenage strategy friend.
I was on board throughout that whole sentence until you got to "strategy friend". Hate that.
We were unlucky, nothing more. And so, for now, we must retreat.
ha ha it's ironic because Sonja's the unlucky CO
Whew We won. Somehow, we won!
Father, did you observe the battle?
I did. Those were dangerous tactics you employed, Daughter.
I mean, sending one infantry and one anti-air to fight a bomber was certainly a bold move on your part.
However, I was mistaken. You were the perfect CO to fight this fight.
I have SEVERAL issues with that sentence-
Drop it, my dude.
However, this war is going to become more dangerous, and more violent. You must never let your guard down. Do you understand, Sonja?
Yes, sir! I do!
Well, they did it. Those two are a formidable duo, to be sure.
Correct. It was a long and difficult map, but they pulled through in the end. A heartwarming story, really.
Gasp! Ruin, you have a heart?
Don't get smarmy with me.
And here I thought you were a soulless crime-solving machine.
Urgh. You're impossible. Anyway, next time, we'll see which map is next.
Ooh, Playground Insults,
Where Did My Town Go,
And Let's Get Neotanks featuring Capitalism, Copters or c... c... uh, 'connaisance?
Not your best work, frankly.
Hm... oh! Counterattacks! Fuck, why didn't I think of that five seconds ago?
Part 22 Additional