The Let's Play Archive

Advance Wars 2

by cosmicPostman

Part 48: Interview 24 - “Island Of The Damned” (Or, “Cruise Control”)

Interview 24 - “Island Of The Damned” (Or, “Cruise Control”)

My dude. Let's waste no more time and continue with the map.

Ah, right, right. Sensei was about to approach Adder's island to capture the lab, but there was a couple of cruisers in the way, right?



Correct. Dealing with them is top priority, so first, Peregrine opens fire on this one.



And we're deploying more bombers, I see.

Indeed. This is Sofia, here to help. After all, if you have the money, why not get more bombers?



Lysander is still taking Talora ever-upwards, but he has to stay here. There's anti-airs, missiles, and cruisers, so he can't approach the lab just yet.



Here's how they stack up. Rose and Andromeda can't really approach further than that - not until the cruiser is gone.

They can't even bait it, either. If I remember correctly, cruisers one-shot battle copters. Hm... this is rather fuck, isn't it?

'Fuck' is not an adjective.



Of course it is. "Here's where things get fuck." Perfect.

You'll end up 'fuck' if you keep talking nonsense. The battleships gather at the northern edge of their area - they can't get any further than this, so they don't have much they can do to help out right now.



Yeah, they've kind of done all they can. It's up to Sensei's air forces now.



On the bright side, with the enemy battleships fleeing out of Peregrine's huge attacking range, Aymil can drop Issam off at the airport at last. Issam will start capturing it next turn.



And, simply because it happened to be in her way, Sofia destroys this APC.

Eh, it probably deserved it.



Oh, and Rose finishes off the cruiser. Nice. One down, one to go.



This battleship tried to run, but did not get far enough. Peregrine all but eliminates him.



The forces on the right prepare to move up. Khepri and Andromeda are in position to approach the island.

That's awfully brave of them, considering the big fuckoff medium tank over there.

OK, 'fuckoff' isn't an adjective either.

You're no fun.



The others down below, Kyril and Minerva, also catch up.



And Sami can't really do much right now.



Oh you are kidding me.



Nope. It's his CO Power again.

I'm going to start keeping count. We're at 4 right now.



Ah. Now this is important.

It is? It's just an infantry capturing a porrrrrrrrrrrrrt-oh god. More cruisers.

More cruisers. Blocking that port will be top priority soon.



Uh oh, the enemy tank's gone for Khepri.

Ah, but do you recall, very early on in this map, when I told you to remember a particular enemy tank?

The tank that Landon shot! You said it'd be important later.

And here it is. That tank, having been weakened by Landon, barely scratches Khepri.

"Whew! That was brisk!" Khepri says brightly. "How's the rest of you?"

"We're fine. I have a plan for getting around this enemy cruiser, but it is going to be risky." Rose replies.

"Hey, come on now." Lysander replies. "We're with you all the way, and ready for anything. You know, so long as I don't have to do anything dangerous..."

Rose nods. "Alright. Here's what we'll do."



Well, I'm impressed.

It was probably luck. Nobody can predict a battle that far in advance.

You'd be surprised at what Rose is capable of.



Perhaps. Anyhow, Issam begins capturing the airport up here.



This cruiser, however, continues to be a problem.

That's putting it lightly. Can't even attack it directly, because anything that does will be in missile range. How annoying.



Peregrine heads north - here, she's out of the cruiser's range, but ready to attack anything that might come out of the port. A multi-pronged offence will be the best idea here.



Sofia, meanwhile, is ordered to go here.

But that's- ah. Sofia's the cruiser bait.

A battle copter would go down instantly, but a bomber can survive at least a single hit.



In the meantime, Khepri finishes off the tank. The rest of the army is still waiting for her, however.



Mm, Lysander and Andromeda are going to have to stay out of the way up there for at least a little while. But if Sensei can get that cruiser out of the way, there might be a way to approach the island safely.



That's the idea. In the meantime, Rose finishes off the enemy battleship. There's another one further down, but it's not close enough to pose a threat to anything.



And now, here's our third bomber, Braddock. He's got to get up to the island as quickly as he can.



Boy, I don't like any of this. Baiting the cruiser, and then somehow approaching this super-fortified island to capture the lab? It's not going to be easy at all.



If it were easy, it wouldn't be war, would it?



Speaking of 'not easy', the infantry has captured the port.

Oh, shit. Adder is absolutely going to start spitting out cruisers soon.



On the bright side, the cruiser has taken the bait. And don't worry - Sofia survives.

"I'm... I'm OK." Sofia says.

"Perfect. As predicted." Rose replies. "Orange Star, can we depend on you to take the cruiser out?"

"Leave it to us, lass!" Lloyd says, saluting.

"Yes, we've got it all under control." Elvin adds.



So, now the group need to figure out how best to approach the island.

With Sofia at such low HP, they've practically lost one of their bombers, too. This is all kinds of inconvenient.



Braddock is heading north, but he's not going to make it for another turn or so.



Hey, Issam's captured the airport, though! That's something, at least.



True. The air forces advance, but stay out of the missiles' range. Those missiles will have to go if they're to approach the lab in time.

Oh, god, yeah. I completely forgot there was a time limit.



Andromeda approaches from the south of the island, whilst Lysander heads north - he's in position to drop Talora off at the lab.

All he needs is an opening.



We'll see how the assault goes next turn. For now, there's an 8HP cruiser there that needs sending to the bottom of the ocean.



"Have a taste of a real pirate's wrath, scurvy dogs!" Lloyd yells, giving the command and watching with a sense of glee as the battleship's cannons fire, landing squarely on the cruiser and creating a satisfying explosion.

"Good shot, Lloyd!" Elvin says. "Alright, Yellow Comet, we've done pretty much all we can. It's up to you now!"

"Don't worry, we'll get it done! I'm gonna eviscerate everyone on this island!" Peregrine shouts.



Adder's definitely going to deploy a cruiser. How on earth are they intending on approaching this island? They don't have the firepower to take out the two anti-airs, missiles and the cruiser, and if any of them are left alive, they'll destroy the air forces.

It isn't going to be easy, but let's see how Sensei does.



fuckin-

That's 5 now.



First stroke of luck - one of the anti-airs leaves the island to go for Khepri. She takes a lot of damage, but it's in range of the Orange Star battleships, so that's one threat gone.



But there's the cruiser, as I predicted. Hm... they can't even retreat, the cruiser will be able to catch up to Peregrine at least.

It is rather bold of you to assume Peregrine is going to run away.



Issam gets dropped off by Aymil over here, just in case the enemy battleship does eventually get into his range. He'll be safer here.



And Sensei deploys a fourth bomber?

This is Matek.



"Alright, we're not giving up here! Full assault!" Peregrine says, charging forward and dropping a salvo of bombs on the cruiser ahead of her.

"She's... correct, right, correct..." Andromeda says.

Rose nods. "Then prepare for an attack. This island is filled with men who do not know they are dead yet. How about we give them the bad news?"



Rose can finish off the cruiser without much trouble.

Peregrine and Rose are in missile range, though. Not good at all.



We'll get to that. First, Sofia comes and weakens the enemy rockets. Though that's not the reason she's here - her real goal is simply to sit on top of the port and prevent any more cruisers from being deployed.



As for the missiles? Minerva can take care of them. They're far from destroyed, but with such low HP, all they can do is plink at the veritable armada flying in from above.

Fucking excellent. Sometimes being aggressive is the best defence!

'Fucking' isn't- eh. No, I suppose that one is grammatically correct.



Andromeda goes after the rockest here.

What about the enemy anti-air, that's like, right there?



You'll see.

Do not tell me someone dies here.



Lloyd lands a mighty blow on the second anti-air, the one that went south. It's not quite down yet, however.



Thankfully Elvin can finish it off, then.



Come on, Ruin, just tell me, what happens?

My, you're impatient. We're about to see it firsthand.



The enemy missiles go for Andromeda, but don't do a huge amount of damage. She's fine.

And the anti-air?

"Hey, Rose, what about the anti-air?" Minerva asks, eyeing the dangerous machine ahead of her.

"Adder, your cowardice was your mistake." Rose replies, addressing the island as a whole using a loudspeaker. "We've already won; you populated your island with so many deployments that they can barely move, let alone attack. Your anti-air can't attack any of my air forces because of its supposed allies being in the way. Gathering your units in one large area makes you look strong, true, but adaptability and bravery are key to battle - the more solid a defence is, the easier it is to shatter when you find a single crack."

GOOD GIRL!



So, yes. Time to finish this map off; we're almost there.



The rockets, for some reason, moved away from Sofia, leaving a space free for Peregrine to take out the hateful missiles at long last.



Ah, and our new friend Braddock can virtually eliminate the anti-air. That's useful too.

He also serves as an excellent wall for the ground units. As we know, ground units can't attack planes, so they have literally no way to get past Braddock.



And Rose can now murder these rockets. Boy, this went from a pretty ironclad defence to being completely routed by a couple of helicopters and some bombs. I see what Rose means about the whole thing shattering when you find a crack.



This allows Minerva to go for the artillery. Obviously, the air units don't have to worry about rockets and artilleries, but Talora, who needs to capture the lab, absolutely has to worry about them.

Oh, of course. Best to get them out of the way for Talora. Speaking of, that medium tank could turn around and come right back to attack her if it's not dealt with.



And now here, a decision is made. A little bit of extra damage is needed to get rid of the artillery, so Sofia does it, but-

In doing so, she leaves the port undefended, so Adder might spawn another cruiser.

Thankfully, there's enough units around that one cruiser shouldn't be a huge issue, but... we shall see.



Andromeda, though weakened, can finish off the rockets. And if you look at where she's positioned herself...

A beautiful little chokepoint. Even a 6HP copter can keep a medium tank and recon at bay for another turn or two. Not bad.



With the island having been routed in a single turn, pretty much, Lysander can drop Talora off at the lab. Two more turns to go.



And from the newly-captured airport, Matek blasts this infantry before it can get any funny ideas.

Good for him. It's that infantry's fault we need to deal with this port, so frankly, he deserves it.



And there we go. Adder's defence was almost completely useless. How amusing.

That was a hell of a turn, that's for sure. Sensei's copters are absolutely terrifying.



They can't do much, but the battleships of Orange Star continue to help by blasting the enemy anti-air.



Hey, they were great. Rin absolutely won this map for Yellow Comet, and the battleship support was absolutely necessary for victory. Thanks, Sami.



Also



6 times in one battle. I know.



Please stop looking at me like that. I'm just the storyteller.



If it makes you feel better, he didn't do anything useful with it. Again.

Makes me feel a bit better, yeah. 6 times, though... it's so cheap. God.



Braddock bombs this medium tank for sitting around doing nothing.



And our friend Andromeda attacks the enemy recon, just in case it does decide to try attacking her. There's not much threat left, however.



And now that Talora's started capturing, we are pretty much completely done here.



Well, there is the small matter of another cruiser in this port. Still, the combined efforts of Matek...



...and Minerva can finish it off.



Thank goodness Lysander's blocked it off now. Boy, cruisers are annoying. I almost never use them, but I can see why people might think they're quite good.



Rose slaughterises the enemy infantry, mostly because she has nothing else to do.

OK, that's definitely not a word.

Oh, come off it. You get to make up words all the time.



Fiiine. Lemme guess, Sofia bombnihhilates this recon?

I was going to go with 'lightly taps', since she doesn't kill, actually.



It's Peregrine that bombnihhilates the recon.

Heh. Alright, you got me.



We're almost done here, anyhow. Just one more thing to do, and it's not Yellow Comet that get the luxury of doing it.



Ah, Elvin finishes off the medium tank. I tell you, there's nothing more fun than having a couple of battleships around. Their range is just so much fun.



They do seem like excellent units. Grit's battleships must be unbelievable.



But it matters not. We're done here.



Well done, Talora! Woo!



Yes! With these, we should be able to produce that new tank design!

You risked a lot to come to our aid. You have our gratitude.

I must admit, those were some useful battleships, Sami.

No, thank YOU. You helped me out of a jam. It’s time for me to return to Orange Star, but we’ll meet again.

…Don’t know where, don’t know when… but I know we’ll meet again some sunny day…

Left without offering a name… Is that what passes for manners these days?

Oh, of course, Sensei never met Sami.

Don’t worry, I’m sure we’ll be meeting again.

I… you do remember who Sami is, right, Kanbei?

Sonja ought to remember. They went to military school together.

My thoughts exactly. We’ll be meeting again.

APPARENTLY NOT



Well, they did it, anyway. Nice job, folks. I wonder what's next, now that they've got Neotanks under their control?



Please don't tell me you need reminding of all the maps again.

...Please? For me?



Sigh. At least let me name them this time.

Oh, this should be interesting. Go on, Ruin, give it your best shot.

How hard can it be?



Black Hole Will Tell You What They Want, What They Really Really Want,

ooh, nice.



This Town Ain't Big Enough For The Two Of Us,



And, uh... Lashings of Love? I've got nothing.

Harder than it looks, isn't it? They've got to be snappy, short, funny.

It would be easier just to make jokes about the characters rather than the map. Like, um...

Rose in a Battle Copter, Rose in a Neotank or Rose being very Strategic.

OK, yes, that is quite hard. Anyway, we'll see what happens next time, shall we?

Sure thing. Bye!

Goodbye, Commander my dude.

***

Part 24 Additional