Part 54: Interview 27 - “Calling In The Cavalry” (Or, “A Veritable Dudestorm”)

Interview 27 - “Calling In The Cavalry” (Or, “A Veritable Dudestorm”)



SENSEI TIME

My due, that is far too much energy for this time in the morning. Let's... just not.



Did Black Hole really suggest that we form a lasting peace with them?

Please, PLEASE tell me they’re not gonna go blundering into what is obviously a trap.

So it would seem, Daughter. Our consecutive victories have taken their toll on their army.

They don’t give a shit about their army! Sturm uses his soldiers’ heads as bowls for his breakfast every morning.

That doesn’t sound like it’s actually true.

I’m guessing.

They’re proposing a peace treaty that is favorable to Yellow Comet.

Hmmm… How do you intend to respond, Kanbei?

Father, it’s a trap! It must be. You must ignore it.

Yes, Kanbei, listen to Sonja. She knows what she’s talking about.

I admit the possibility that this might all be a trap.

That sounds like he’s about to say ‘However', doesn’t it?

Kanbei, no...

However,

GODDAMMIT

I intend to meet with them and hear their proposal.

Father! You mustn’t…

I will not raise my sword against one who has thrown his down. That is not the way of the samurai.

Oh, of COURSE he can’t do it because of HONOUR

Not one for honour, then, my dude?

I don’t mind being honourable, but frankly, Black Hole do not deserve it.

Well, after a short journey north…

This is the location we agreed on. There’s no one here. It must be a trap.

No, wait… There’s someone… There!

……

We came as promised, Adder. I would hear your plan for peace.

And betrayal in 3…

3…

Oh hey he’s actually counting down, how convenient

What?

2…

That—

1…

Hey, Ruin, does Wars World have the Geneva Convention?

What’s the Geneva Convention?

Ah, never mind.

That isn’t Adder! It’s a dummy!

oh my god it was a dummy

It’s almost cartoonish in how silly it is, isn’t it.

No! Everyone! Retreat!!

0

And then there was an explosion.

Good to know.

Heh heh heh… Right on schedule. The road has been cleared of all obstacles. A leisurely march to the enemy HQ would seem to be in order.

Hate to tell you this, sonny, but that’s not going to happen.

Hey, Sensei survived. I mean, they all survived really, didn’t they?

We’ll find out after the battle.

They’re protagonists, they can’t die in some random map!

…Hsss… So you survived. It matters not. You’re too late. Our preparations are complete. This pipe is the route by which materials are transported to our factory. It’s also an impenetrable, indestructible wall.

Oh boy, more pipes.

So why don’t you twiddle your thumbs or something while I go and capture your HQ. Heh heh heh…

There’s no scheme too base for those scoundrels.

Heh heh heh… Base? It’s not base, it’s brilliant!

They’re throwing around the word ‘base’ so much, I thought they were quoting Shakespeare.

Yeah, that’s not a very common word used in this context.

Now out of my way, you senile old fool! I’ve no time to spare for you. You may watch, though, while I claim my prize!



Also, here's the map, anyhow.



Oh WOW this is a big boy. Lots of pipes, too... hm. Those seams below the Yellow Comet HQ are gonna have to be broken as soon as possible.



It’s as Adder said. The pipe is indestructible. However, if we concentrate our fire on the seam, we might be able to open a hole in it that will allow our units to pass through.

Mm… Well then, let’s give it a shot.

What are you attempting to prove? There’s no way that you can turn the tables! It’s too late!

Boy, someone’s overconfident today.

He’ll pay for it soon.

This takes me back… Compared to the battles of old, this is nothing but a skirmish. Shall we get started then?

Goddamn this man is badass.

Listen to me! Our goal is to destroy the 3 minicannons. If we can take care of them, the foe will lose heart. Move out!

Do they stop talking now?

Yes, that was a rather long intro. Let’s get started with the map for today. By which I mean, here are the deployments.

TODAY’S DEPLOYMENTS
Issam, Infantry
Vanessa, Infantry
Aanisah, Infantry
Alistair, Infantry
Khepri, Mech
Kevin, Mech
Fadel, Mech
Ellis, Mech
Kiran, Mech
Arqa, Mech
Casildo, Tank
Kyril, Medium Tank
Casimir, Medium Tank
Leopold, Neotank
Talora, Artillery
Dymek, Artillery
Lysander, Transport Copter
Aymil, Transport Copter
Iago, Transport Copter
Andromeda, Battle Copter
Minerva, Battle Copter
Rose, Battle Copter
Peregrine, Bomber
Sofia, Bomber
Braddock, Bomber
Matek, Bomber
Chakir, Bomber

ALISTAIR
Age: 33
Personality: Spirited, noble samurai.
Proficiencies: Infantry, Medium Tank, Artillery

ARQA
Age: 24
Personality: Beautiful but lazy.
Proficiencies: Mech, Submarine, Tank

CHAKIR
Age: 26
Personality: Nervous but willing.
Proficiencies: Bomber, Battle Copter, Cruiser

Alright, let's see how Sensei handles this map, then!



Right. Here we go, then...



So, first, the seams, as you say, are crucial. The cavalry, as it were, down below, need to get up to defend the HQ as soon as possible. Or rather, before Adder's massive army arrive.

That is not very much time - they're already practically on top of the HQ.

Quite. In order to get through the seams as soon as possible, Sensei deploys Dymek as an artillery.



Talora, meanwhile, lands the first hit on the leftmost seam. It is through here that most of the troops will be coming through - with any luck.



That's some good damage, they're almost through the first seam already.

Very true. Kyril manages to do some heavy damage. He'll be playing double-duty as seam destroyer and HQ protector for the first few turns. Right now, there's nothing near the HQ, so he can focus his fire on the seams.



Down below, there's some cities that need capturing for monetary purposes, so Alistair is deployed to do so.

Sensei's on like 10k a turn, what on earth does he need more money for?



Money is money, my dude. The more funds, the better. Anyhow, the air force head out, carrying the infantry. Lysander drops Vanessa off next to some more properties to capture. Rose, leading the troops from her battle copter, addresses them as they move out.

"Gather now, troops. We must break through the seam as soon as possible to provide backup to Sensei's forces. Stop for nothing, and if the foe tries to stop you, leave no trace of them behind." she orders. "Bombers, divide yourselves between attacking the seams and halting the attack force headed our way. Copters, provide backup. Transport copters, hang back and prepare to push through the seam once it opens."

"Yes, Rose!" comes the bark of the other soldiers through the transceiver. Rose is somewhat heartened to hear Vanessa's voice amongst them, and nods in satisfaction.

"I trust you all. Now move out!"



Adder's army wastes no time in charging forward. Obviously the army as whole is rather threatening, but the Neotank in particular is going to be a very difficult foe to face without aerial support.

Oh, god, even Kyril on the HQ won't be enough to withstand a Neotank hit. It'll shred him.



Correct. And with Adder constantly getting his CO Power, as you're aware, it won't be long before the Neotank is at the HQ. Sensei's got to make preparations.



I see Alistair's moving past the first city. It's in range of the anti-air, I take it?

He'd rather play it safe, but the anti-air won't be here for much longer, actually. Of all the vehicles, it poses the largest threat to the bomber squad, so it's got to go.



Casimir wastes absolutely no time slamming it with bombs. He takes no counter damage, which is rather nice.



Minerva deletes this infantry, too. Only one direct unit can attack the seams at a time, so it's better for the bombers to do that, since they do much more damage. As such, the copters may as well hit the other approaching enemies.

Makes sense to me.



And Vanessa's capturing property. Actually, yeah, I suppose she'd be in danger if the medium tanks or infantry got closer to her, so the copters aren't completely wasting their time taking out Adder's troops. It is giving him free CO Power charge though.



Unfortunately, unlike Lucy, Peregrine can't quite destroy the seams in a single hit. As you can imagine, this is going to add a good number of turns onto the map.

That's what I'd call a real heckfuckler of a situation.

You come up with so many ridiculous and meaningless words that it's a wonder anybody can understand anything you say.



Sofia can at least make a start on the next one.

"Nice shot, mother!" says Lysander.

"Oh... thank you. I'm doing my best."

"Oh my god they're so cute." breathes Talora, listening over the transceiver. "How are you doing, southern team?"

"Not going to lie to you, Talora, Kyril..." says Vanessa, watching the battle unfold. "We're gonna be a while yet. Are you going to be able to hold out?"

"Not going to lie to you, Vanessa..." Kyril answers, grimacing. "We'll do our best, but..."

The transceiver falls silent.

Well, this is grim.

You're truly adept at killing my serious atmosphere, my dude. This is the serious bit.



Well, let's get onto the fun bit then. Bombers murdering stuff!

Fine, fine... Braddock finishes off the anti-air.



And our new bomber, Chakir, makes a start on the medium tank. There's an anti-air further up, but besides that, nothing here even remotely poses a threat to three bombers. Chakir, Braddock and Matek will be taking care of this approaching force from the right.



The newly-deployed Dymek goes for the next seam, I see.



Yes, which Kyril follows up.



Casildo attacks the right seam, but... doesn't do much damage. He's just doing it to fill time, in all honesty.



Talora moves down in between the pipes.

Ah, clever. She can hit both of the seams below from that vantage point.



Down below, unable to break through the seams in a single turn, the air force prepares for enemy counterattacks. And, to practically nobody's surprise...



"Hur hur hur I'm going to enjoy boobly-doo doobly-boo"



I take it you are not a fan of Adder.

I'm particularly not a fan of his three lines which we've heard like seventeen times in Yellow Comet alone. If you know he gets his CO Power twelve times more often than most enemy COs, why would the devs not give him more lines?

I see we're in a "break the fourth wall" kind of mood today, my dude.



Adder's army uses the extra movement to head south even more quickly. And as you can see, he's quickly closing in on the HQ, which is just south of those mountains.

Yeah, this is not fun. But how do we most efficiently get rid of those seams? It's like a puzzle.



What do you mean?

Well, it's all about efficiency. Sensei can use his heaviest hitters to open the seams, but then that wastes their turn, so they can't actually move through the seams until the next turn, you see? So he's got to figure out a way of taking them all out whilst ensuring that some of his strong units, like the bombers, can still get through ASAP.



I understand. Well, Sensei's a talented strategist, and so is Rose, so I can't see this going too poorly.



As mentioned though, Kyril will be defending the HQ for a little while. I can assure you, Sensei has a plan. Kyril will be... mostly fine.

Mostly?



Casildo, please do something useful, my god.



Talora does something useful, however, weakening the next seam down.



First, Peregrine will be breaking this seam wide open, giving the cavalry a foothold.



Ah, and Sofia can one-shot that seam now that Talora's weakened it. Nice!



Rose lands a hit on the seam, but can't quite get enough damage to finish it off. Still, next turn, the floodgates will be opened. Let's hope that Adder's not reached the HQ yet.



And our other copter ladies are just bullying some tanks. Who is this?

The last of the battle copters, Andromeda. She and Minerva are going to be clearing up the rest of the enemies here, since the bombers will have new directives soon enough.



Minerva will be opening this seam up though, since the enemies don't pose much of a threat.



Speaking of threats, though, another anti-air.

They keep showing up where they're not wanted, don't they? Matek goes for this one like he did with the last one, though he sustains more counter damage this time.



Chakir finishes it off. You will note, in the top-left, that Braddock is rejoining the cavalry group.

Ah, the "prevent kyril from dying horribly to a neotank" foundation.

Funny you should mention Neotanks, my dude...



Yeeeeeeeees.

This is what Sensei needed all those funds for - Leopold will be taking care of the HQ defending from now on. The ultimate in offence and defence... it's quite a fearsome thing.

Eh, Dimitri wore it better.



I don't think you can wear tanks. Grammar aside, Sensei's turn is over.





An enemy tank has parked itself right in front of Minerva's guns, so she does the obvious thing of giving it exactly what it's obviously asking for.



Huh, Andromeda's going for the recon rather than the medium tank?

She's a strange girl, don't ask.



Kyril moves over to this base, both to protect it and to do heavy damage to this tank before it can get at the artillery.



...And Leopold takes centre stage on the HQ. Nice, he should hold out pretty much infinitely. You know, until Adder gets his ranged units down here.



And to blockade the other base, Sensei drops another medium tank - Casimir.

Well, that's the defensive line placed, but what about the offensive troops?

We're getting to that.



First, Dymek makes this anti-air regret coming anywhere remotely near him, and sets it up for a kill later on.



Oh holy shit, Casildo did something useful! Exactly enough damage to take out the seam!

"Hey, ladies, I'm about to break this seam wide open. Remember my name when you're looking for the hero who allowed this battle to be a success, eh?"

"Shut up, Casildo, and open it. We've not got time for this." Rose says, and Casildo salutes, slamming the seam with a bazooka shot that creates an open path from the lower area to the HQ. The air squad prepare to move.

"Kyril, thanks for leading the northern troops. Hang in there - the cavalry is coming!" Vanessa calls.

"I'll open the way." Rose says.

"Wait, Rose-" Kyril gasps, turning around. "There's an anti-air lying in wait for you!"



"Kyril, I am Rose Kuroda of the Yellow Comet Army. A simple anti-air poses no threat to a genius such as myself." Rose replies, and with a single shot, she eliminates the offending foe. "Now then - backup troops, we must protect the HQ at all costs. Once we have secured the southern mountain region, we turn our targets to the primary goal: eliminating those minicannons."

"I'm still hyper! Let's go!" Peregrine calls, readying herself for the upcoming battle.



Sofia, now that the way is open, heads in to finish off the enemy tank.



Peregrine flies up to block up the exit, and also provides a nice little nook where Talora can install herself. You know, just in case a Neotank, two medium tanks, two bombers and Rose aren't enough to take out the enemies that get close to the HQ.

Hey, you never know, maybe Black Hole will figure out how to tie 4 Neotanks together.



Braddock has also caught up now. In the meantime, the transport copters prepare to move north, and Vanessa hops back into Lysander.

"Hey. Nice work out there; you've got some real talent, you know." Lysander says, giving Vanessa a wry grin. He's somewhat shocked to find that this does nothing to faze Vanessa, who ignores him and turns her sights towards the HQ in the distance. "OK, you're one of those girls, good to know..."



The two remaining bombers will be heading up the right side of the map. Along the way, Matek stops off to hit the medium tank that Andromeda didn't target.

Just as casually as you'd make a milk run. "Honey, just grabbing some milk and also blowing up a medium tank that looked at Andromeda funny"



Chakir forges ahead, hoping to catch up to that medium tank that got damaged early in the battle; it's been fleeing north ever since. Along the way, he also does a casual bombing, this time deleting an enemy mech.

I'm more of a competitive bomber myself.



And, just in time, the cavalry has arrived, ready to face off against Adder's oncoming tide of units.

He really does have a whole lot of dudes, sheesh.



Thankfully, the infantry, the one thing capable of capturing the Yellow Comet HQ, are distracted by nearby towns. But Sensei doesn't really need money anymore, seeing as he has so many units.



Ooh, bad luck, Kyril's being targeted. Even with three defence stars, that's going to sting.



I'm sure he'll be mostly fine.

And there you go with the 'mostly' again.



Huh, that medium tank just marched right up to Minerva and didn't attack? I mean, I know medium tanks can barely scratch copters, but why would it even get into her range if it couldn't do damage?

The mind of Adder is a mystery unto itself. I don't know.



Anyway, Dymek weakens the enemy tank up here. There's a lot of firepower, but it's closed off by the enemies around, so getting rid of them will help a lot.



Boy, Andromeda is absolutely determined to just kill the shit out of this particular recon.



Yes, there's a lot of aggressive plays on this turn - for example, Chakir slips neatly into this missiles' range to make it regret ever existing.



And then Matek just blunders right into it.

"M-Matek! Why are you..." gasps Chakir. "That's dangerous, you know..."

"Good job you weakened it, huh?" Matek replies, shrugging. "I'll live, I just miscalculated. Just focus on keeping up the fire over there, alright?"



And now... this.



Oh my god, is this... the dudestorm?



You might say that, yes. I'm going to keep calling it Airborne Assault though.



A selection of reinforcements arrive. Khepri, Kevin, Fadel, Ellis and Kiran... and down below, Arqa, a new recruit.

So that's why Sensei had a bunch of random properties up there. Interesting.



Arqa, being incredibly work-shy, goes to capture a property rather than doing anything actually useful.



Wow, they're just ready to roll as soon as they land, huh. Kevin's just going absolutely apeshit on that tank.

I mean, being ready for action as soon as they land is kind of what a paratrooper is supposed to do, my dude.



But yes, they do get started rather quickly. Fadel goes to capture this property.



Holy shit, and Kiran just absolutely nukes this rocket, amazing.

Mechs do have rather solid capabilities when they're on the offensive. Though I can't help but feel like this map was built for this exact situation to happen... those properties were rather convenient.



Talora finishes off this tank over here, meanwhile, which allows the real dudestorm to begin in earnest.



It's less of a dudestorm and more of a bomb storm... and an effective one. Braddock pretty much neutralises this Neotank on his own.



Then the medium tanks begin counterattacking from their bases - Casimir goes for the tank next to him.



Oh, brilliant. Thanks to the passive healing and initating combat, Kyril's managed to turn the tables on this medium tank.

There are more enemies to come, though. He's not out of the woods yet.



Meanwhile, Leopold tests out the capabilities of the Neotank and absolutely obliterates the mech next to him, leaving nothing but ash.

Neotanks, man. What a crime against god they are.



"I'll handle this. Not even a Neotank can stand against the combined might of our forces - our strategies will always win out!" Rose calls, firing off at the Neotank in front of her, watching with some satisfaction as it explodes into pieces.

"Nice work, Rose!" Kyril says. "If we keep that up, Adder's got no chance!"



"I'll handle these enemy troops! Yah!" Peregrine yells, charging forward and unleashing a payload of bombs on the unsuspecting medium tank below her. "Direct hit!"



Casildo manages to finish off the tank, redeeming himself for the earlier parts of the map where he literally did nothing.



And just as a cherry on top, Sofia absolutely murderfucks the tank next to her. What next?

What next? Well, um, we'll find out next time. I'm afraid that's all the time I've got for now.

Aw no c'monnnnnnn



I'll give you one guess at what happens next time.

Is it a godforsaken Adder CO Power



RUIN

***

Part 27 Additional