Part 56: Interview 28 - “The Tides Turn” (Or, “This Many Bombers Should Be Illegal”)

Interview 28 - “The Tides Turn” (Or, “This Many Bombers Should Be Illegal”)



Quick, CO Power time.

Wait, what? I forgot what was going on? You gotta introduce me before we start again, Ruin!



If you recall, Sensei was battling Adder, and had just recently got the bomber squad to back up his troops at HQ. And, as you correctly guessed last time, Adder got his Super CO Power.

Ah yes. That's right. Siiiiiiigh.



The missiles poke Matek for like 2 damage.



The enemy tank goes to attack Fadel - it does minimal damage, and then Fadel turns around and casually destroys it.

Sensei's mechs just absolutely do not give a fuck.



Another day, another medium tank trying to kill Kyril.

Thankfully, Kyril destroys it on the counter, but... he's not doing great with 3 HP left.



To nobody's surprise, the medium tank flatly refuses to try and even do a point of damage to Leopold and instead goes for the much weaker Casildo.



"Kyril! Hold out!" calls Vanessa as she spots the mech moving towards him. Lysander looks down at the field below, flying his transport copter in close. "Lysander, what's happening out there?"

"It ain't good." Lysander murmurs.

"Holding out is easier said than done!" replies Kyril, bracing his medium tank and closing his eyes. "But... I'll do my best!"

The mechs open fire, and the Yellow Comet army wince.



"Ngh... that wasn't so bad."

"Don't scare us like that, Kyril!" Dymek yells. "You'd better not be putting your life on the line, friend!"

"I'm not, I'm not." Kyril replies, sighing with relief. "I'm OK! Everyone else, stop worrying about me and focus on destroying Adder's army!"

"Yes - don't lose sight of the goal. Once Adder's at the disadvantage, we must push ahead and destroy those cannons as Sensei requested. That'll scatter his forces." Rose says.



With Adder's trump card out of commission for at least a turn, and his army ripe for the plucking, it's time for Sensei's forces to press the advantage.



Aanisah and Issam prepare to capture the base and airport down here - they may come in useful for refuelling, and more money.

Sensei's got five bombers and a goddamn Neotank, what the hell does he need more money for?



Maybe two Neotanks. After all, the only thing better than a Neotank...

Whoa, no you don't. That rule only works for medium tanks.

So two Neotanks is just as good as one Neotank?

Don't bamboozle me with your logic, woman.

Sigh. Anyway, Matek removes the offending missiles.



Fadel, none the worse for wear to say that a tank attacked him last turn, continues merrily capturing as if nothing happened.



And Kiran's destroying more missiles. Good man!



Khepri, meanwhile, has reached the silos, and decides to activate one.

"Hey, folks, missile is coming your way! Where do you want it?"

"Ah, Khepri, perfect timing. You wouldn't mind blasting the rocket and missile squad ahead of us, would you?" Rose says. "The bombers need a clear path to the minicannons."

Khepri nods, and prepares the shot. "Sounds good to me! Fire!"



Welp, those ranged units are kinda screwed. The bomber squad is gonna have a fun time with those cannons now they're less of an issue.



Kevin doesn't have much else to do, so he begins capturing a nearby property. The rest of the map is down to the bomber squad, really.



Chakir finally catches up to this medium tank, which thought it could retreat halfway across the map to heal.

It's like my mother always taught me. "You can't outrun a bomber."

Why was your mother teaching you military advice?

What, did your mother not do that?



Talora goes for this enemy medium tank, since it poses the greatest threat to poor Kyril. To say he's in a medium tank, he doesn't seem very able to take hits.

Yeah, I was gonna say. Tina wouldn't have taken any damage from those medium tanks if she was on a base. The woman was fucking invincible.

I would have liked to meet her, or at least see her in action. She didn't show up in this campaign, however.

Aw, how disappointing.



Casildo engages in fisticuffs with this mech, by which I mean he shoots it from the safety of his tank.



And Braddock goes for this big old tank. Yeah, Adder's not looking so scary all of a sudden.



Indeed, even Sofia is just spending this turn cleaning up Adder's most dangerous units. He's lost most of his bite at this point.



Here, Casimir decides to blow up the medium tank.

Good job, Casimir. Almost all the units around the HQ are gone. The ones that are left are barely any threat.



Indeed. Rose finishes off the last of the medium tanks, leaving the way towards Adder's minicannons open.



Still, the infantry and mechs could pose a threat if ignored, so Kyril continues to sit on his base, firing away at anything that gets near him.



He must have an itchy trigger fing- wait! Why's Leopold getting off HQ and shooting that mech?! It'll just march onto the HQ, since even a fucking Neotank can't one-shot it for some reason.

Defence boost from his CO Power.

Oh yeah, that.



As for why Leopold is leaving the HQ, do you think Sensei is that thoughtless? Lysander drops Vanessa off - since most of the enemies are defeated, a single infantry can guard the HQ whilst the Neotank does more important things, such as shooting those minicannons up north.

...Yeah, fair, I suppose. You win this round, Sensei.



Speaking of those minicannons, Peregrine has completely ignored the mountain terrain and is mounting an assault on the foes up north. First, she targets the biggest threat to her - the anti-air.



And with that, the HQ is well and truly defended, and Adder is on the run. It's time to mount a counter-assault.

Let's bully Adder!



This mech attacks Casildo-

!!!!

He survives, barely.



Thank fucking god. I'm impressed, I don't think we've had a single Yellow Comet death yet.

Must you tempt fate at every opportunity?



Arqa, having refused to enter any actual combat, doesn't have to worry about being killed and instead finishes capturing this property.

Uh, good job? I guess?



And now that Andromeda has caught up with our other bombers, she's helping them out by attacking the rockets.



Ellis, meanwhile, reaches the other missile silo, and with no hesitation, aims and fires on the same enemies that Khepri went for.



"Fuck ranged units"

You must admit, they can be rather threatening.



The rest of the backup squad...



...are busy capturing property.

I mean, that's great, but kind of useless right now. Aren't we supposed to be taking out some cannons?



Ah, and Kevin's taking out these missiles just in case the bombers want to head up here. Nice.

Rather impressively, he manages to take them out in a single blow.



Matek will be finishing off the rockets that Andromeda weakened.



And Chakir can fuck up that artillery. Nice, this side of the map is pretty much clea-



For fuck's sake Chakir



Back on the side of the map where all the competent units are, Talora blows up this infantry.



And Issam and Aanisah finish their capturing.



Oh, wow, Minerva just absolutely glumberfucks this mech.

Can we get through one interview using only words that actually exist, please? Is that a thing we can do? Please?



Fiiine. Braddock absolutely shits out damage on top of this poor artillery's face, encasing him in a demise made of bombshells and murder.

...I suppose they were all real words, but arranging them like that hurts me on the inside.



Ah, thank goodness Rose is going for this anti-air. For a moment I thought nobody was going to deal with that.

It would have been a bit of a strategic misstep to leave such a dangerous foe alive, even one on 3HP.



Having contributed everything he can, and in considerable disrepair, Casildo makes a retreat to the safety of the pipeline crew. He's served the army well.



Also, Kyril attacks something, leaving the comfort of his base. Thankfully, it pays off, as he takes this mech out.



Oh, and Casimir's copying him. Kyril leaves the base to shoot a foot unit, Casimir does the same. I see how it is.

They'll be troublesome if not taken out. Plus, it's not like there's much else for them to do anyway.



Oh my god, finally some action? Achieving the goal of the mission? I never thought I'd see the day.

Quit your sarcasm. Yes, Peregrine has targeted and damaged the first of the minicannons. You'll note that she's close enough to the missiles that they can't actually shoot her; she's completely safe.



The rest of the bombers and Leopold are making their way up, meanwhile. However, it seems they're going for a more self-destructive approach.

Wait, they are?



Oh, right, the cannons. Oops.



"I already ordered you to avoid the cannons!" Rose sighs. "Is everyone alright?"

"Yeah, we're fine!" Peregrine says.

"We'll be alright, Miss Rose." Leopold says, saluting. "Worry not for us - we shall push forward and destroy the foe's cannons!"



STOP GETTING CO POWERS



He seems to have... slipped right under your skin, wouldn't you say?

Oh, don't start.



Thanks to the extra movement, this enemy infantry gets to attack Dymek and... does no damage. At all.

Pfft. Amazing.



Alright, we've got to be close to the end now, right? How long will these cannons take to die?



Well, despite being weakened by the cannon shot, Sofia is able to take it out.



And now Peregrine's gonna take out the missiles. Oh, Adder is so screwed now.



Rose goes for the enemy rockets, giving Braddock a chance to approach the minicannons.



Well, yup, Braddock took advantage of that.



There's also a bit more cleanup to do down below. Kyril starts attacking an infantry.



Talora, just get rid of that infantry. Couldn't even do a point of damage to an artillery.



This artillery goes down to a mean look from Casimir, too.



Well, Adder tried. You gotta give him that. But it looks like everything he has is about to explode.

Overconfidence was his mistake, really.



Overconfidence... speaking of, have you thought any more about the killer?

Uh, can't say that I have. Was the killer overconfident?



...I thought so, at first. After all, you my dudes are all massively overconfident and self-absorbed, if you don't mind my saying so.

Oh no, I'll totally agree with you there.

But I believe the killer was anything but confident. In fact, I believe that the murder was only planned a few hours before it was executed.



...Interesting. We've got until the end of Green Earth to figure it out, right?

Indeed. I'm very curious as to how your wits match against mine.



Anyway, Sensei's units murdered a rather preposterous number of Adder's units, and now it's Adder's turn. He's... not going to achieve much, though.



Oh, it's Sensei's turn again. Wow, Adder did literally nothing.

Let's watch him be schooled, then.



First, Vanessa must remove this offending infantry. Which she does; she's rather competent.

Ah, she's grown up so much. Gotta say, I'm a big fan of these Yellow Comet folk. I'm gonna miss them once we're done here.



They were endearing, I suppose, but then again, so are all of the soldiers. Leopold explodes the middle cannon, anyhow.



Oh, then Sofia finishes it off... this is going well. One cannon left!



And of course, who else but Peregrine to round off this map for us?

Suck it, Adder! You lose!

How mature of you.

If you wanted maturity, you absolutely came to the wrong guy.



There’s been some sort of mistake… Under these conditions…there’s no way…we should have lost…

In Adder’s defence, five bombers is complete nonsense.

Mm, they are rather powerful, but... please never say "In Adder's defence" ever again. I did not enjoy that.

Now listen here, Adder. You should really try hard to avoid making me angry.

What? What did you do?

I’m an old man. I’m not looking for a fight. I want nothing more than to relax and bake my bones in the sun. So I’m warning you, stop now, while you still can. If not, I don’t think I’ll be able to restrain myself...

I appreciate Sensei’s forwardness. I’ve had superiors like him.

He seems more chill than Mr Honour, Emperor of Yellow Comet.

…Not your most well-crafted insult, my dude.

I’m having an off-day

Hss… Hssssssss!

Wow! He sure left in a hurry.

Oh yeah, how did Sonja and Kanbei survive, anyway?

Vintage Sensei! Well done! Well done indeed!



Oh OK. We just won't find out how they survived a fucking bomb then. S'cool. I get it.



Perhaps you should take a nap too, my dude. It's past your bedtime.

I can see you grinning. You're banned from making fun of me.



Hee hee. Anyway... we're almost at the end of Yellow Comet's campaign.



So, my dude. Will we be seeing, uh... Kanbei, Sonja or Sensei?

Aw, no hilarious names today?

Oh, I'm not done yet. We'll also be seeing some old friends. Out of those old friends, who do you want to see... Andrew, Maximum, Samilton, Snowlaf, Colinda or Gritney?

Wait, what? That's a whole lot of choice, uh...

I'm sure some of the audience knows pretty well that a number of these friends will be useless in the upcoming battle. But yes, it'll be an interesting one for certain... until next week, my dude.

***

Part 28 Additional