Part 7: Bonus Tactics Room Foray Number OneWelcome back. We're taking a bit of a break from the storyline today. A number of the people in the thread have mentioned it, and it really is a thing of beauty, so I'm going to show it off: The Tactics Room. The Tactics Room is a glorified hint system, available in every story mission, but what makes is awesome is the way it presents the tips for each map. And with that, let's begin with Mission 1. As you'll hopefully recall, Mission 1 was the start, where Brenner and Lin crushed the enemy in a recon and a tank.
: This is the war room, Will. You can come here to learn tactics for the current battle.
: Oh, that makes sen... Wait a minute! How do you know my name? And how did you pull me off the battlefield like that? And who are you anyway?!
: Please. Now is not the time to worry about minor details. You don't need to know my name. You just need to take my advice.
: Um... OK?
: Now, let's get down to brass tacks. It's tactics time!
Excellent. I'm sure Lin will give us amazing advice to learn how to crush this difficult map!
I...huh. Supreme tactician, ladies and gents! Wait a second, my bike can't reach the enemy units! LIIIINNNNN!!!!
: ...What do you mean, that's it?!
: What? It's a perfectly good strategy. ...Oh fine, I'll tell you more. The more damage you do to an enemy, the weaker its counterstrike will be. Striking first is very important Make your first hit count.
: I think I understand. Thank you.
: We'll take care of this battle for you, but remember these tips in the future.
: ...That's it. You can go now. Oh, and try not to get killed, all right?
Solid advice Lin. Not getting killed is constantly a priority for me in life. The first War Room is a little bland by comparison to many of the others. Meanwhile I find it amusing, so we can only go uphill from here.
Mission 2 is when we rescued Isabella from the ruins, while sitting in a chokepoint with a tank and artillery and letting the Beast come to us.
: This is...?
: This is the war room. It's a place to learn battle tactics and strategies. If you've already been here, then welcome back. If it's your first time, I hope it's useful.
: So...you give me hints on how to defeat enemies and win battles?
: Smart kid. Now listen up.
: However, it can't attack adjacent enemies. Block the road with your tank, and pound enemies with the artillery. Don't allow the tank and artillery to get separated.
: OK. Got it.
: You seem like a fast learner. I hope that translates to battlefield success.
Eh... did you SEE what I did on Mission 6, Lin? Letting my artillery take fire for no reason isn't what I'd call a "success"...
: Feel free to visit the war room anytime. Now get out there and do good.
Way ahead of you, Lin. Not the best War Room, and I forgive anyone who used this as their first encounter with the concept to not go back later. You missed out on comedy gold, but I forgive you anyway.
The one where we learned bullets don't win wars, and we were heavily outnumbered at the start.
: Oh. Hello again. I was wondering when you were going to drop by. Ahem. Welcome to the war room, the place to come for tactical advice and strategy.
: You're going to help me with this battle, right? I'm still kinda new at this...
: Patience, grasshopper. All will become clear...
Conveniently blocked out by the text box, but yes.
: Position a tank and artillery there, but watch out for the enemy artillery. Place your mechs in the mountains to make their attacks more effective.
Lin, your advice sucks. Mechs don't get a power boost in mountains, it only saves them from horrible "bullet-to-the-face" problems after they fire.
: Got it.
: Are you sure? That's a lot to absorb.
: I'm sure!
: All right! Well, if you forget something, feel free to ask.
: I'm chock-full of helpful advice, so come back anytime.
Still not the best one, but they can't all be winners.
Dust of War. Lin took control and Bravo team escaped being surrounded.
: Lin? Uh, I mean, sir? Hello? ...Lin, is that you?
: Eep! ...Wait, what are you doing here?
: Givin' tactical advice! What does it look like I'm doin'?
*snicker* Sure Beast, YOU give me tactical. Perfect.
: You're giving me... Wait, is this a trick? Where's Lin?
: GWAR HAR HAR! So ya want yer mommy, huh? Well, tough beans! This is Beast country, and no one knows it better than me! So listen up!
: If there's one thing I love, it's ambusing little chumps like you! So don't move without thinkin'! Use yer flares to see what's up ahead. And get foot soldiers into the mountains to give yerself a better view. Now do as I say!
: Gwar har har! I'm The Beast, and I love me a good tactics session! Later, little man!
You said it, Will. The Beast helps us defeat him. I don't know why, but hey. The War Rooms start picking up here in terms of comedy, at any rate.
We get introduced to the BEST CHARACTER. We also learn the base mechanics of Advance Wars.
: Hmmmm... Let's see here...
: Captain Brenner!
: Hello, Will.
: I'm really looking forward to learning some great strategies from you, Captain. I'm sure you'll know how to deal with all of those enemies.
: Yeah... Look, Will? I'll be honest with you. The thing is... I haven't decided on a strategy for this battle quite yet.
Brenner's plan: "Uh... kill... them? I really got nothing here."
: Don't worry! As long as there is hope, we will prevail!
: Ummm... If you say so, Captain.
: All right. Our first priority is to capture that factory and produce new units. We can use the terrain east of the fatory to build a line of defense. We'll use tanks and artillery to take out enemies as they approach. Then we'll march on their HQ. If units are damaged, they can recover in cities or join with other units. And watch out for enemy artillery! Got it?
: Yes, sir, Captain!
: If we do that, we should be able to win. ...I think.
: Um, you don't sound very confident, Captain.
Cause she's SO GOOD at talking to other people from what we've seen so far...
: Never give up hope! Right, Captain?
: Yes, Will, well said. Never give up hope. Without hope, victory is impossible.
Brenner's introduction to the War Room falls kind of flat, in my opinion. The fact he makes up the strategy on the fly is kind of amusing, but he does better. Speaking of...
The one we just did, against a War Tank.
: Oh, Will. Come in.
: Captain Brenner? Can you give me any tips for the upcoming battle?
: Of course. I'd be glad to. Hold on one second... ...Blast! Now where did I put those...
: Did you lose something, Captain?
: Lin gave me some notes for this tactics session, but I can't seem to find them.
Really says a lot about Lin's plans if Brenner mistakes A DOODLE for them.
: Um...Captain? Are you really getting all your strategy from Lin? Maybe you should keep that a secret from the rest of the troops...
This just in: our Captain isn't the tactical officer. This comes to the shock of one.
: She's a natural teacher, Will. I'm just not much for that kind of thing. Yes! Here they are! OK, let's see what she has to say...
: "Captain. Tell Will to quickly capture factories and cities. He needs to defend his foot soldiers with other units as they do so. The area southeast of the factory will make an ideal defensive perimeter. If the enemy swarms you, retreat to this area and regroup.
God damn Lin/Brenner, SPOILERS!
: Is that all?
: Yes, that's... Oh, wait a second.
: Let's just keep this to ourselves, all right?
Welp. Lin TRIED to make Brenner seem smart. Didn't work out. Oh well. Anyway, that's all the War Rooms we've had so far. There'll be another update like this in about 6 or so story missions from now showing off the next batch.
I actually get back to playing the game, I guess.