Part 103: Chapter 103
You jump on the spot, fruitlessly.
I want some fruit.
>use bird as parachute
I only understood you as far as wanting to use.
You pluck your bird from its cage and grab hold of its tiny legs. Confidently, you leap off into the misty depths, only afterward remembering that you outweigh Link at least five times over. You quickly decide to adopt a strict regimen of diet and exercise, but unfortunately the only weight you've lost by the time you reach the bottom is the contents of your bowels.
*** You have died ***
Add to the list of fictional heroes we aren't: Link.