The Let's Play Archive

Alice in Wonderland

by FredMSloniker

Part 11: In which Alice goes under the boardwalk (down by the sea).

Left it is!

You have chosen... wisely. (The right door leads to one of the false mirrors. We'll take a look later, though, so you can see what we're missing.)

What's a bathing machine doing in the bathroom?

There's only one way to find out.

No peeking!

This is feeling rather like a set of Russian dolls. How many things am I going to find inside other things?

By the way, Alice, we got some more fanart.

Let me see.

Thanks again, Dizzybone! (Hm. Animgifs don't get thumbnailed.)

Is that supposed to be me when I'm small?

I think it's supposed to be you when you're stoned.

I haven't found any mushrooms that turn me to stone.

...never mind.

Watch out for that ferret! If you touch him, he'll steal something, and it's always something you don't want stolen.

Not a problem; I don't need to go anywhere near him.

That's strange. I think I smell the sea.

Maybe that bathing machine wasn't just random.

My ability to be surprised is getting strained.

Hm. Several ways we could go. Try that other door first.

There's no one and nothing here. Except for that horse's head.

It is the upper half of a pantomime horse that is a little worse for the wear.

It's too heavy to take, though, even if I wanted to. I suppose I'll have to move on.

Try heading farther to the right along the boardwalk.

There's a short pier here.

Well, you know what they say... take a long step!

I suppose it was too much to hope that my days of swimming were over.

It's warmer than the Thames, at least. But I don't see land.

Keep going.

This... isn't... working. I'm going to drown if I don't reach land soon.

Yeah, you're right. Better turn around.

I don't know if I can make it back...

...what? I haven't actually gone anywhere!

Yeah, that screen's sneaky. When you leave it to the right, you just get teleported to the left edge.

Why didn't you tell me that?

I think you can guess.

Yes. Yes I can.

I can barely feel my arms. I hope this end of the boardwalk is more productive.

Ohhh, it's the Cheshire Cat again.

It's proper to compliment a cat's appearance starting from one end and working to the other.

I don't have the strength for this... I need to lie down...

Bah. You're a video game character! You could swim all day if you had to!

I rather like my smile--and I have the dental bills to prove it.

Well, why don't you talk to him, then? I'd just as soon lie here for a while.

All right, then, I will. Hey, Ches. How's it going? You look good.

Thank you. I'm rather fond of my tail too. In fact, I'm attached to it. It'd be polite to chortle about now.

I thing (sic) you ought to be more worried about how you're going to fly up to the tea party in the rabbit hole.

Yeah, we've heard the Hatter has a solution to that. Don't suppose you can help us find him?

Don't be tedious.

Hey, don't be giving me lip. I control your very existence. You don't want me Alt-F4ing your furry white butt.

The pigeon is even more infuriating. But she does have a looking glass that you might want to look into.

Yeah, we guessed. Okay, Alice, we got everything we need here. You ready to leave?


It's more relaxing not to have to talk.

And he's gone now.

No big; I mined him for clues. Whenever you're ready, we'll try the next door.

I think I'm feeling a bit better now.

Good feelings gone.

Join the line and be refined!

Who are you supposed to be?

Fin or foot, lung or gill, why not do my little quadrille?

And why are you dancing like that?

Join the line and be refined!

Um, hello? Are you listening to me?

Do a reel with a seal!

That's all he has to say.

Is it just me, or does this area of the game have a bit of filler?

I think it adds flavor, actually.

I hope there's something with more substance farther to the left.

This is quite a tall hedge. I suppose you'll want me to climb to the top...

Nah, just head left.

Really? Well, all right.

Whoa, don't get close to the ferret! Now we climb.

At least I see a way around it, if I can reach that platform.

Oh, it's the March Hare again!

Stand back. Artist at work. I paint with enthusiasm if not with talent.

What are you doing here, anyway?

Let's see Peter Rabbit top this.

...wait, you're not rhyming. You're not the March Hare. Who are you?

A famous artist some day--maybe as long as tomorrow.

The water is certainly very... lifelike. But why such a small square on such a large canvas?

That shows what you know. The larger the canvas, the better it is.

But the extra canvas isn't doing you any good if you aren't painting on it.

I'm going to complain to the Queen about you.

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you.

The only time I relax is when I visit the Mad Hatter behind the chessboard.

Have I heard something about that before?

I think so. Anyway, let's leave him to his art.

All right.

If we jumped down from here, I could easily use my parasol to avoid the ferret... but getting back again would be tricky.

Head back the way we came.

All right. There's something I want to try anyway.


To quote Keanu Reeves, whoa.

I was just thinking, you know, that looks just like water, so I tried jumping and, well...

I think you're interfering with his muse, though.

All right, I'll get out. But what now?

Let's just go past the ferret.

You said he'd steal something.

He will, but I know where he'll put it, and it's not far.

If you say so...

Into the water, I assume?

You assume correctly.

You haven't had a lot to say.

Not really a lot too say. No real puzzles or anything here.

This is a long way to come to reach a museum. Say, this must be the one the ferret runs!

Yup. And we're going to get something important here.

It smells like mothballs in here.

The jar is filled with penguin feathers.

Wonder why anyone would put penguin feathers in a jar?

I wonder why anyone would put a museum in a bathing machine.

This, on the other hand, makes a slim amount of sense.

I thought the tourist season was over and all you fellows had flown south for the winter.

It's summer, actually. Or, at least, it was. I think. What is your name, if you don't mind me asking?

I've been a gryphon for all my life though I'm open to other employment possibilities.

I see. And you work at the museum?

Today is my day to dust the pictures and tomorrow is my turn to take the dust off. What fun!

...that's not how dusting works! And anyway, why are you putting the dust on if you're just going to take it off again!

Sounds like job security to me.

You're impossible or nearly so. That makes you illegal in Shrewsbury.

Impossible? You want to talk about impossible? How about we start with a museum inside a house inside a fireplace inside another house inside a rabbit's hole?

You might want to meet the Mock Turtle. He's very musical. If you played sports, you wouldn't have so much time to pester people. Here take this cricket bat.

I just want to go home, where people don't randomly vanish when I say the wrong thing!

Ah, but that was the right thing. Look, he's left you a gift!

It is a regulation cricket bat with a handle ending in a wide, flat rectangular surface.

Yaaay. I'll add it to the collection.

You're sounding kind of burnt out. (Oh, there's the key the ferret burgled. Be sure to grab it.)

I'm sorry. It's just be a long, strange day.

Well, the day's almost over. Just a little further, and you can stop for a rest.

This isn't a chessboard. It doesn't have the right number of squares.

I'm pretty sure this is what they meant, though. The question is, where do we go from here?

Ow. It's not this way.

Let's take a break here. Maybe one of the folks out there will know.

I thought you knew!

I do. But this update's getting long, you're tired, and I want to see if anyone else knows.

I won't argue. I'm so tired, I could sleep on the floor.

Next time on Alice in Wonderland, things start getting awesome again!