Part 3: In which Alice enters Wonderland and suffers at the hands of a capricious puppetmaster.
I'd like to apologize in advance for the minimal opportunities for audience participation so far, but so far our choices have been 'solve puzzle' or 'don't solve puzzle', and none of the people we've had a chance to talk to have been the type to get offended by the wrong conversation option. I'll include choices for the audience whenever practical. Also, I'm playing through sections of the game without concern for the clock, screenshotting and capturing video, then jumping to a save state and recompleting the section in minimal time, so if the in-game clock ever seems a bit wonky, that's why.
If you have any questions for either of us, don't hesitate to ask. I enjoy a good conversation, as my menu proves. With that said, let's begin!
As the White Rabbit said, crouching is the key to enter the rabbit hole.
It's a good thing your dress is already wet and muddy, isn't it?
Goodness, this doesn't look like a rabbit hole. It looks more like a cave. And I'm noticing a distinct lack of dipping suddenly down, though there's a bit of a pit over there. Am I even in the right place? I'll check that notice.
Hear ye! Hear ye! By order of her Royal Highness, the Queen of Hearts, do not enter without candy. This means you!!!
Well, it's a good thing I have that tin of comfits, then. Let's see... I'm not certain I can jump far enough to reach that pit, and I'm certain I wouldn't enjoy the landing in either case.
Don't worry about it. You don't take falling damage, remember? Give it a try.
All right. Let me just hop over to that rock ledge, and...
Augh, my neck! I thought you said this wouldn't hurt?
I said you don't take falling damage. There's a difference.
Yes, and I'm feeling that difference in my spine!
This seems like a good time to mention one of those controls I didn't cover earlier. Once you have your parasol, you can press the button during a fall, or hold it while you jump, to open the parasol and glide gently earthward. You can even steer left and right as you do, which helps you make those longer jumps.
Why didn't you tell me that sooner?
It's also worth noting that if you collide with something on your way down, you'll be stunned and fall straight down the rest of the way, so navigate carefully.
May I enter this door, or will it fall on my head and crush me?
That door's perfectly safe.
Pointless, but safe.
Well, if I didn't know I was in Wonderland before, a ballroom at the bottom of a pit would certainly tell me. Is that a walrus playing a clarinet?
You can leave the way you came.
How rude! I've only just arrived.
I don't think scolding him is going to get you anywhere. Best to start civil.
All right. Ahem. Excuse me, sir, but my name's Alice. Who are you?
The royal musician. I welcome the Queen.
The Queen? Where is she? And how would she get here?
You can't get around me that way.
Why would I want to? The only thing you're in front of is that strangely shimmering mirror.
I have to wait for the queen to come through these doors. Only she has the key to open them.
What doors? I only see the door I... oh, wait. This is something from the other book! That mirror's some sort of portal, isn't it? Well, I'll just walk right up and--
Doors-- and mirrors, as you can see-- can be locked. The game helpfully informs you of what you need in order to pass through them; you don't have to explicitly use a key, just have it.
No wonder he didn't stop me from trying. I suppose I'll have to go back the way I came, at least until I find that key.
You like to babble so much that you must have been born in a brook.
(He's lucky I don't have a 'Kick' option.) Back out the door I go...
...and take another parasol-assisted leap.
Well, this is no good. I'm out of cave, and there's no way back. Have I missed something?
Yes, actually, you have. Take a closer look at the floor of the cave.
Well, all right, but I'm not sure what I'm looking f--
...ow... I can't feel my nose... I wish I couldn't feel my neck...
...wait a minute, what about my parasol? Why didn't you open my parasol, you jerk?
Well, I don't appear to be injured. Though this is hardly the 'heap of sticks and dry leaves' the book promised. At least I know which way to go.
Knew which way to go. Which door should I try first? Wait, don't answer that. You'll just send me to the door of pain or something. I'll pick... the door on top of that hill.
A Nursery? I'm not sure what's stranger, to find a nursery here, or to find no sign at all of children or nannies. Oh, but there's something on the wall. I'll take a closer look.
It is an embroidered sampler that says Puppies like to play fetch.
Another piece of oddly specific advice that couldn't possibly apply to me. Naturally, I'll have to remember it. There's nothing else here, though. I'll have to try the other door.
A pantry? Is someone going around pulling rooms off of houses and burying them? I wouldn't put it past Wonderland, but clearly whoever made this game is thinking of the books as more of a suggestion than a script. I suppose it's for the best; at least I'm seeing some new sights. And what's this?
It is a jar of marmalade covered with small paw prints.
Something with its own description that I can pick up. Naturally I'll need it later. Why do I have this strange urge to hold it overhead, though? No matter. I suppose I'll have to head back the way I came.
Now there is a useful sign. Thank you, sign!
...perhaps I spoke too soon. Three doors! And not a hint of which one to enter next. However shall I begin?
That's your cue, folks. There's a door to the left, a door in the center (Alice can reach it with some jumps on those little platforms), and a door to the right (Alice can crawl through that passage to reach it). Which one should she enter? Cast your vote now!
Yes, and while you're at it, tell him to stop injuring me for his own ghoulish amusement?
I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one being amused.