Part 28: Thorn Brenin and the Strong Female CharactersThorn Brenin and the Strong Female Characters
So we have to talk to Andra. Or rather, we don't HAVE to, but I'm subjecting you to it anyway.
The thread brought up that Liki was basically stuffed into a fridge and I think that's a good segue to talk about the ladies in this game.
For fucks sake Thorn, Andra wears a red shirt and Foshta wears a blue shirt. This is not rocket science, also Andra is the one trying to fuck you.
Anyway, isn't it kind of odd that all the women are the ones talking about sex in this game? Lo Pheng's route is kind of the obvious one because all the women are either weird mystics (Reet) or prostitutes (everyone else) but I find it really odd that none of the young men show anything resembling desire aside from Hode's vague thing for Gleda.
: How do you tell each other apart after bathing?
Yea, this shit could be taken directly from one of the girls on Lo Pheng's route. There are three archetypes for women in this game - either extremely horny like Andra here, vaguely wise mystics like Reet, Chila, and Philia, or Spunky Tomboys(tm) like Gleda.
: I prefer looking at the ribbons.
Also I just noticed her iron cow skull thing flips between shoulders.
Part of it is of course the fact that there are far fewer female characters. These two ladies are the first to join Thorn's party aside from Gleda, and I'm going to spoil that we don't get any more. Yea, we have the whole pile of women accompanying Lo Pheng, but if I made you read their dialogue blind could you really tell them all apart? Go ahead, tell me how Bolla is different than Swarty. I'll wait.
The other part is of course that all the characters speak in poorly translated Ash of Gods rambling. Sopp really doesn't react that differently than Flitt or Brett, and those guys have been background characters since the trial. Vai is a monk who makes no references to faith or the gods. Ramlin...exists.
: It sounds like you have some experience with monastery life.
The real question than becomes whether or not you want to give the game the benefit of the doubt because they can't characterize anyone, or whether you think they've done the ladies a special disservice. Honestly I could go either way.
: I worry about my daughter.
I honestly don't remember if Philia was taking her to that monastery or not, but everything involving these twin girls is really, really fucking stupid
Huh? Was Gleda going to join the monastery? Did she ever...mention that? She's never seemed particularly bloodthirsty aside from threatening Brann.
: (Gloomily) You shouldn't guess at the future. Don't even look there. You'd get more out of feeding your girl to a shark. At least she might learn something.
: Who named you, Andra?
I don't fucking know where this came from.
: You got lucky with the names, then. Who's older? You or Foshta?
: I don't have anyone to ask. If you mean being wise, calm, and patient, than she's the older one. If you mean finesse and rage, than I am. You and I, we're both mad.
: Enough sweet talk, Andra.
: It was sweet indeed. Goodbye for now.
: Where are you going to go?
: I want to take a piss. Do you want to escort me? Can't even trust me to do that?
TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: Aside from the palette swapped clothing, how do I tell you apart? You guys look like the same sprite colored differently.
: You could look at my vagina.
: I only liked one vagina, and she's dead now. She never even got a portrait in the game. She was the only one who deserved my magic jizz.
: Incidentally, do you even know who taught Liki how to cut her own brother's dick off? It was the same woman who trained me. That's how Brann learned about us.
: (Ignoring the hint) So how bout monastery life? Something something Gleda.
: It fucking sucks, asshole! They literally drew my name out of a bucket!
: Nice conversation. Bye.
: Ok I'm off.
: Where are you going?
: I gotta piss, God! You're not my real dad, geez!
Foshta hates Thorn nearly as much as I do, making her one of the game's more intelligent characters.
: Have I offended you in some way?
Oh my god yes do it Foshta end him.
: They tell legends all across Berkana about the skill of Raydonian disciples.
: Eikons are more dangerous. They are Shadow Clan warriors. Their fighting style is similar-but harsher. Our former mentor left the Clan and founded our monastery.
This is absolutely correct, Lo Pheng would eat both these girls for lunch. It's also somewhat mechanically correct as well, as both the twins and Pheng fight with two swords and have attack lowering moves. Where they differ is that people tend to not survive when Lo Pheng hits them, and Lo Pheng auto-counters. The girls have ranged attacks but whatever.
: Why didn't you leave Brann Vichti sooner?
: Where could we go? To Vandil Forest? We'd have to watch out for both guards and bandits.
Maybe they're gay Thorn, did you ever think of that?
I guess not thinking that would be understandable with how horny Andra's acting.
: The quiet life is over. Troubles can drown you before you know it, even in a forgotten village. And tell me, where are these supposed men we could marry?
A really fucking obvious answer not in the game posted:
: Nice talk...
: (Mockingly) Did you think that I would just cling to you and cry?
: (Calmly) I didn't think about it at all. Though if you started crying, I wouldn't be scared. You aren't a snake, are you?
TheGreatEvilKing summary posted:
: What did I ever do to you?
: Nothing. You just suck. If I wanted you dead you would be dead.
: So everyone says you girls are really good.
: Eikons are better. You could be playing a Lo Pheng chapter right now but the devs stuck you with this crap, player! Ha ha!
: Don't you want to get married and do girly stuff instead of killing people?
: Nope. I don't know any single men. Maybe if there was some kind of band of soldiers I was traveling with, but nah, I like killing people. Also, I'm gonna say this in all caps, YOU SHOULDN'T TRUST ME.
Go ahead, thread, speculate as to how idiotically these twins are gonna fuck everything up!