The Let's Play Archive

Aviary Attorney

by Xander77

Part 10: Prince Juan

: Oh, it's you two again. Hey, nice work on Lady kitten's trial. Baron Rorgueil is pacing around a cell right now, ranting about wringing your neck.

: Yeah. I'm not surprised.

: He's super mad. But hey, a criminal's a criminal, right? If the lion didn't want a death sentence, he probably shouldn't have killed a guy. Oh, you're not here to defend him, are ya? Because that would be hilarious.

: We're actually here to see Prince Juan Querido, heir to the throne of Spain.

: The mouthy fox, huh? That guy's driving me nuts with his "Señores" and his flamboyant attitude. I say the sooner he hangs, the better.

: Well, come on, then. While we're young.

Prince Juan (George Bizet: Carmen Suite #1 - Aragonaise) (listen to this)

: Well, I wouldn't say legendary...

: I wouldn't even say notable...

: Such humility. I would expect nothing less from renowned individuals such as yourselves. But let us get down to business. I trust that my compañero, Mousey, explained the situation?

: He told us that you have been accused of murder, but we need some further details before we can start our investigation.

: Ah, of course. What is it that you wanted to know?

: What were you reading, before we so rudely interrupted?

: Ah, this book? It is a Spanish classic. Don Quixote of La Mancha. Do you know it?

: I've heard of it. It's about the knight who jousts windmills, right?

: That's one part of the story, yes. The hero is a virtuous-but-elderly knight by the name of Don Quixote. In the chapter you mentioned, he takes up arms against an army of giants who are terrorizing a town. Quixote's partner, Sancho, warns him that the giants are just windmills, and their flailing arms are just sails twirling in the wind. But Don Quixote doesn't listen. He takes up his lance, gets on his horse, and charges anyway.

: Sounds more like DUMB Quixote, am I right, Falcon?

: Perhaps he is dumb, Señor Sparrowson. But many of us spend our whole lives jousting imaginary giants.

: Speak for yourself, Juan. I've never been jousting, let alone seen a giant.

: I think we're getting off-track here.

: Indeed. I tell you what, Señor Falcon. I'll lend you my copy of this book. Maybe you'll have time to give it a read at some point.

: Maybe I will. Thank you.

: Was there anything else you wanted to know?

: Why did you come to Paris, Prince Juan?

: I was on a diplomatic mission. I do not know whether you are familiar with current events, but you may have heard that my country is in a state of turmoil. Contenders for the Spanish throne are slandering, plotting, backstabbing... it's chaos, and the people are suffering. So I thought, "if I can befriend some French royalty, perhaps even the king himself, maybe I can strengthen my family's name". With the Querido dynasty restored, I would have a chance at bringing peace to my beautiful nation.

: Welp. I guess that plan's gone out the window.

: Sparrowson! Don't be rude.

: No, he is right. I've failed terribly.

: Don't fret, Prince Juan. We'll do everything in our power to clear your name. Maybe once the dust has settled, you will have another opportunity to speak with King Louis Philippe and complete your mission.

: Thank you, Señor Falcon. I am sure you will do your best. Was there anything else you wanted to ask?

: To be honest, Prince Juan, I'm a little confused as to how a member of royalty could get in so much trouble. Could you walk us through your activities on the day of the murder?

: Of course. Let me see, where to begin... It was the cold and misty morning of the 6th of January. I had heard that King Louis Philippe was unveiling a new painting at the Palais du Louvre, and I wished to meet the man himself. So, after a brief stroll and picnic in Tuileries Garden, I entered the palace. I found the royal entourage in the Louvre's Grande Galerie. When I saw an opportunity, I presented a humble gift to the King.

: How romantic.

: But before the King could take it, a rather rude person snatched it from my fingers. It was a royal guard. A dog by the name of Major Howl. "Ouch," cried out Major Howl. "I have pricked myself upon the thorns of this dastardly flower." And then the Major slumped to the floor. His face turned blue. His mouth frothed. And he died.

: He died straight away after being pricked?

: Straight away, Señor.

: It's obvious that the pricked finger was the cause of death, but I don't know of any poison that acts so fast.

: Nor do I, Señor Falcon. But clearly, the police felt that poison upon the rose's thorns was the only logical explanation. And with so many witnesses, even the King himself, what could I say to defend myself?

: So where did this rose come from?

: I acquired it from a beautiful Parisian flower seller at Les Halles markets. A girl by the name of Catherine-Marie Cygne. But surely you're not suggesting that the flower girl applied the poison herself, Señor Falcon?

: Well, I'm not making any accusations yet. I'm just planning to explore every line of inquiry.

: Did you want to ask something else, Señor Falcon?

: No, I think that's everything, thank you.

: What's the plan, big bird?

: Well, we have two lines of enquiry. We should head to the scene of the crime, the Palais du Louvre, and see if we can find any clues or witnesses, and we should interview the flower girl in Les Halles market to see if she has anything to say about this alleged poisoned rose.

: Two tasks spread over six days? This almost sounds too easy.

: Let's not get complacent.

: Good luck, Señores.

: What is it?

: Did something seem... off... about Prince Juan to you?

: He seemed colorful to me. Throwing roses, spouting about literature... Juan's one suave Spaniard.

: Hmm. Maybe I misread him.

: Well, look. If this is bothering you, then we could always ask around. Maybe someone in the city knows Juan's dirty secret. If he actually has anything to hide, that is.

: Yeah! Let's dig up the dirt!

: But we've still got a trial to prepare for. Priorities, Sparrowson.

: That's the Arc de Triomphe over there, right? I swear it's smaller than how I remember it.

: That's the Arc de Triomphe ~du Carrousel~, you doofus. The big Arc de Triomphe is up the road.

: What? No way! Why are there two?

: Because when a man like Napoleon invades half of Europe, he gets to build as many triumphal arches as he damn well pleases.

Severin Cocorico (Leo Delibes, Le roi s'amuse, Gaillarde) (listen to this)

: Th-that arrogant voice.

: ~Sigh~ Good day, Séverin.

: Let's be civil, Jayjay. Why don't you introduce me to your new assistant?

: Fine, fine. Severin, this is Sparrowson, my assistant.

: Sparrowson, this is Severin, the most pompous prosecutor in Paris.

: Oh, are you two old school friends or something?

: More like arch-rivals.

: Please, Jayjay. I think "arch-rival" implies some sort of competition. As I recall, we've met in court on five occasions, and on five occasions did you get humiliated terribly. I'm amazed a failing bird-brain like you is still able to get clients.

: Actually, Severin, business has never been better. I'll have you know that I am currently being employed by the Prince of Spain, no less.

: The Prince of Spain? Juan Querido? Well, well, this is quite an amusing coincidence.

: Don't tell me -

: Correct. I am the prosecutor for the very same case.

: ...

: It is a pity that the Spanish prince will indubitably hang, but I suppose that is what he gets for hiring a bird-brain to represent him.

: Don't call me bird-brain! You're the only bird-brain here, Séverin!

: Tsk. "One always speaks badly when one has nothing to say." - Voltaire.

: Uh oh, he's giving you the verbal smack-down. Quick, Falcon, make a witty retort.

: Huh? Oh, yeah. Uh...

: "A witty saying proves nothing." - Voltaire.


: Heh. Very good, Jayjay. A worthy riposte. But enough talk. If you messieurs would excuse me, I have a case to prepare for. Jayjay. Sparrowson. I'll see you two in court.

: He did seem like a bit of a cockerel. But is it true what he said? You know, that he trounced you in court five times?

: I can't deny it. Severin has a reputation as a ruthlessly thorough prosecutor. Mountains of evidence, surprise witnesses... it's no wonder he always manages to one-up me.

: But this time will be different, right?

: I hope so...

: I know! For you see...

: Sparrowson! That's, that's, that's...

: Pretty impressive, actually. I swear you were standing three meters away the whole time.

: You tall birds are so busy with your heads in the clouds that you don't ever notice us small folk running around your feet! Pinching Cocorico's pocket was like taking candy from a very tall baby.

: Let's take a closer look...

: And those penned-in arrows seem to show the route taken by the king's entourage. Which means that the king first went...

: Didn't Prince Juan say that he spent the morning in the Tuileries gardens?

: Sounds like we have a lot of places to visit. Where should we go first?