The Let's Play Archive

Aviary Attorney

by Xander77

Part 17: Second Day of Juan's Trial

: Now, your majesty, could you tell us your activities on the day of the murder?

: My activities? Well, I started my day with tea and toast, as I normally do. I was dressed in my PJs at the time...

: I think you can skip ahead a little. Perhaps to your arrival at the Louvre.

: Ah, right. Of course.

: Well, my entourage and l entered through the Louvre's south entrance around 9 o’clock. We passed through the Salle du Tibre with little fanfare. At the Grande Galerie, I unveiled the new painting and gave a short speech to inspire the citizens who attended. That's when I was approached by a man claiming to be the prince of Spain. He presented a rose, which was taken by Major Howl, and, well, I think you know the rest.

: Indeed we do, your majesty. Madames and messieurs of the court, what We have here is another testimony that establishes Prince Juan's guilt. And this is no ordinary testimony - it is the testimony of perhaps the most trustworthy man in all of France.

: Oh, you flatter me, prosecutor.

: But I am the trustworthiest in all the kingdom, aren't I?

: Nonetheless, I would like to perform a cross-examination.

: How dare you doubt your king?! The utter nerve...

: Oh, calm yourself, judge. I have no qualms with standard legal procedure.

Trial Turnabout

: Your majesty, you say that you entered the Louvre from the south entrance.

: Indeed. We approached from the Hotel de Ville, so it was an easy riverside stroll.

: Did you see anyone or anything suspicious around the Louvre’s entrance?

: Suspicious? I’m afraid not, monsieur. Just the regular riverside types. Bourgeoisie, Vendors, people-who-fish, and the like.

: Are you sure that you entered the Louvre's south entrance?

: Oh mon Dieu, Falcon. Are you seriously still tugging at this thread? The king himself just testified, under oath, no less, that he entered through the south entrance. You can’t possibly have any reason to call this fact into question.

: Your majesty, you say that you passed through the Salle du Tibre uneventfully.

: Indeed. We stopped briefly to look at the paintings, and then moved on to the Grande Galerie.

: There are several rooms between the Louvre's south entrance and the Grande Galerie, but you've only mentioned the Salle du Tibre by name. Why is that?

: Oh, the Salle du Tibre was the only room we looked around in detail. The other rooms, we simply passed straight through.

: Why did you stop in that room specifically?

: Well, see, there was this giant doorstop that caught my eye and sparked a debate.

: Say no more, your majesty.

: Could you elaborate? What did you see in the Salle du Tibre?

: What did I see? Well, Roman stuff, mostly.

: I meant, aside from the Roman artifacts. For example, did you talk to someone in the room who wasn't a member of your entourage?

: You're reaching, Jayjay. The king already testified that he passed through without encountering anything of interest.

: Now, your majesty, I would like to ask about your activities in the Grande Galerie.

: Please proceed.

: Could you give us a rendition of your speech?

: What, right now? Without my cue cards? I'll give it a shot, I suppose.

: Uh, madames and messieurs, welcome to the grand unveiling of my beautiful portrait.

: I don't claim to be the greatest king penguin to have reigned over France.

: Nor the handsomest. Nor the most competent. Some may argue that I'm not even top ten material.

: But I am a humble king penguin. Some consider me to be the humblest king penguin of all time.

: Your honor, I object. This speech is a travesty.

: Sustained.

: Your majesty, you say that you were presented with a rose by the prince of Spain.

: Indeed. He formally introduced himself. I knew he was telling the truth, because he called me “Senor”.

: I find it curious that Major Howl snatched the rose before you could take it. Why did he do that?

: The major has always been a protective fellow. I think he was just doing his diligence as a royal guard. And given how he took the figurative bullet for me, I would say that he did his job well.

: Well, I can't argue with that.

: Your majesty. Prosecutor. Members of the court. Brace yourselves, because I have a revelation that will turn this trial on its head.

: That's not a revelation, Falcon.

: It isn’t?

: Of course not. We all know that the current ruler is Queen Regnant Isabella II, and that she has no children. The Queridos are obviously pretenders to the throne. Prince Juan's title is probably self-appointed.

: Aside from the prince of Spain, did you see anyone out of the ordinary in the Grande Galerie?

: Why, monsieur. The Grande Galerie is always inhabited by artists. Everyone there is out of the ordinary.

: Nonetheless, can you think of anyone who stood out?

: Is this question going somewhere, Jayjay? Or are you blindly stabbing in the dark?

: It's a perfectly fine question. Please answer, your majesty. Who did you see?

: Well, I don't know. I saw dozens of paintbrush-wielding, mustache-touting weirdos.

: Be specific, your majesty!

: I... I saw photographers and sculptors and sketchers and hipsters and.. and...Just what do you want me to say, monsieur?

: Badgering the king? Tut-tut. Absolutely disgusting behavior.

: Could you elaborate? What did you see in the Salle du Tibre?

: What did I see? Well, Roman stuff, mostly.

: I meant, aside from the Roman artifacts. For example, did you talk to someone in the room who wasn't a member of your entourage?

: You're reaching, Jayjay. The king already testified that he passed through without encountering anything of interest.

: I have reason to believe that this was a key moment on the day of the murder. I want the king to elaborate on exactly what and who he saw.

: Then I suppose that you will have to proceed, your majesty.

: Alright. Let me think. So there was that giant doorstop... and there was that copper urn thing...

: I was offered a box of chocolates by some peasant mademoiselle. I don't have much of a sweet tooth, but Major Howl was keen to accept a chocolate or two on my behalf.

: WHAT?!

: Hmm? Did I say something startling, prosecutor?

: N-no. Please continue, your majesty.

: I think the prosecution is startled because he just came to the realization that I was not spouting drivel in the previous trial session.

: To cut a long story short, your majesty, this mademoiselle may hold some relevance to the case at hand. Could you describe her?

: Really? She's relevant? Well, let me think... I didn't get a good look at her face. But she was a sorry-looking swan. Probably in her late teens or early twenties.

: A young, sorry-looking swan, you say. I don't suppose her name was...

: Mademoiselle Cygne?

: Cygne... That sounds familiar. Why yes, I think that was it! She was called Mademoiselle Cygne!

: I see. This is undoubtedly significant. Mademoiselle Cygne gave chocolates to Major Howl minutes before he died.

: Now just one minute! I see what you are alluding to, Jayjay. You're suggesting that the gifted chocolates killed the Major. But that line of reasoning holds no weight because the evidence is circumstantial.

: Yes. That much is no longer in dispute. But you still have not proved that the chocolates were poisoned. Without that, we must assume that the swan was merely offering a gift, rather than speculating that she is a murderer.

: Yes. YES! Shame on you, defense! Implicating a poor, innocent girl like that! Absolutely disgusting! Why, I ought to end this trial...

: Hold on! I do have evidence that the chocolate was, in fact, poisoned.

: I don't believe you, Jayjay. If you had a piece of evidence that significant, you would have slammed it down already. Present it.

: Well... I can't. It's not really the “evidence folder” type of evidence.

: Why am I not surprised?

: ...

: The drama was just getting good! Why did you all suddenly go quiet?

: Well, your majesty, it appears that the defense just had a realization of his own. That is, that he lacks the evidence to support his theory. Since he cannot continue with his argument, I believe the cross/examination has come to an end.