Part 5: Chapter FiveChapter Five
Here's the SAclopedia entry for Geno. I read the majority of that and still have no idea what the fuck, or whether the two are even related.
Geno: ...WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE??
OMGWTFBBQ: It doesn't matter, we're just killing time so the story can progress.
Geno: I have a idea! Time now for a story! Once, when my nephew Jimmy came to visit, I told him very clearly, "DONT GO IN MY CLOSET JIMMY!" Of course, he went and did it anyway. After that, I stuck Jimmy in the Learning Box, and then shoved it down the stairs.
Geno: OMGWTFBBQ, will you be our filthy piece of trash, and lock yourself in my closet?
Geno: ...Okay, now why the fuck am I fucked?
EPG: Because you're old and we all hate you.
Geno: Oh well, I tried. Time for a nap.
I never promised this would be easy, guys.
Pipebomb: sometime, yo.
OMGWTFBBQ: Everybody is acting completely insane and it is making me cry.
Pipebomb: You dont like it, you walk back to the car and sit in the heat, maybe you have a stroke you stupid thing
Ozma: what an original concept that you continue to bring up every fucking year! thanks d00d. Im sorry, you were saying?
EPG: I Am Being Towards So Grillin' That Yours Truly is a Felon.
The gyst is that we have to talk to all of our party members to help us decide that thing that Geno apparently wants us to decide. Meanwhile, we can talk to some of Geno's soldiers...
Or we can loot the place...
Or find Goatse.
I...never knew there was an inn here. Huh.
Anyways, time to talk to Geno.
Geno: Have you made a decision?
Geno: Mike was going to advertise here, but after seeing some of my more obscene posts involving midget pornography, he decided it would be better not to!
Geno: Happy birthday, Clownhat!
Geno: Please, crackhead monkeys are smarter than me.
OMGWTFBBQ: oohhhh, alright.
It's actually neither. He gives us a Slap Glove.
Geno: Alrightee then...the priates photoshopped me doing homo naughty things! How did they do that?
EPG: Photoshop is for the DEVIL!
Pipebomb: MSPaint owns U all!
OMGWTFBBQ: You mean there's some connection between teh funnay and Photoshop?
This section is particuarly painful to transcribe.
Geno: I can only recall one thing linking teh funnay with photoshop power...
EPG: You don't mean...
Holy Jesus Mary Mother Of Dog!
Pipebomb: They used to do ICQ pranks...were those real?
EPG: Nobody is interested in your opinions Pipebomb!
Geno: And Im just here to hint at whatever the fuck the plot is supposed to be. Such as the evil machines being powered by cosplayers.
OMGWTFBBQ: Gawd... Can I borrow some Rescue Ranger hentai until this scene ends?
Geno: It's risky, but if we have OMGWTFBBQ...throw a rock at that cosplayer, it might just wake up...
EPG: Are you all high?!? That plan is for steers and queers! KILL EVERYONE!
OMGWTFBBQ: Why do I have to do it?
Ozma: To justify your existence, you loser.
Geno: ...where's my pizza?
Unnamed guard: The power of Xenu compels me to give you 5 dollars!
Geno: I didnt order the dead. How about this. You're paid money to service your customers. It's your job. Do it. Fuck this, it's adventure time!!
EPG: Pipebomb, we need you to slow down the unstobbale army of pirates.
Pipebomb: I knew this day would come. Just give me my assault rifle and a crack team of vigilantes, and...
EPG: One end is kinda pointy and you can take out an eye if you're not careful.
EPG: Now listen, you find their queen, you put yourself inside her, you pee, and you drive back home, got it?
This is the first line to actually make me cringe in disgust. Maybe since I wasn't active back then, the rest of this shit hasn't bothered me...but I remember this stupid shit and how popular it was.
Ozma: ignore me, Im just talking to have more lines.
Geno: What do we do? WHAT DO WE DO?!?!
Geno: Quick! To the Genocave!
If we had happened to say no to Geno before...
The rest of the scene plays out as normal, until the end.
So I guess it's time for a log ride!