Part 6: Chapter SixChapter Six
Log ride time!
Here we go! This log ride is SUPA COOL!
Don't let Geno die. If Geno dies, you REALLY SUCK and do not deserve to be playing this game.
Here's our party, with Geno replacing Pipebomb. I wish it were permanent.
Notice his commands. Not only does he get to keep Health, he also gets Magitek abilities!
FREEDOM FRIES, BITCH.
Letting Geno die earns you this. Try to avoid it.
No, I didn't do the Lete river trick.
After making a few tricks and turns up and down the river, we run into this guy.
Hamburglar: Uwee hee hee...game over, man, game over! Don't tease the Hamburgler, kids!
View the dramatic fight here!
EPG: In conclusion, Hamburgler sucks.
OMGWTFBBQ: Hey Ozma, there's something shiny under the water.
EPG: OMGWTFBBQ! Don't tell her that!
Geno: What with her short attention span and all...
EPG: Aw jeez, there she goes again.
Ozma: Want shiny! Shiny get!
EPG: I hope you're proud of yourself.
OMGWTFBBQ: Hee hee hee!
Geno: Oh well, more log ride fun for the rest of us!
EPG: But now who's gonna shoot up all the enemies with an incredibly cheap attack?
Geno: Damn, you're right. I hope she doesn't die or something.
EPG: Oh great, one fewer party members...
OMGWTFBBQ; Er, sorry?
EPG: Ozma!!! PLZ DONT DIE!!
This is the most sensical portion of the game, so enjoy it while you can.
I'd ask you to vote but I wrote this update several days ago and I hate this group's scenario because it's boring no matter what version of the game I'm playing so I want to get it over with.
Geno: Say what what?
Unnamed Guard: Any idiot could remember 1-800-COLLECT, fool!
EPG: You just dial down the center, right?
Unnamed Guard: FUCKER!
As long as we're talking about obsolete garbage...
Not gonna lie, looking for that took twenty minutes. Or rather, two minutes to watch the video and eighteen minutes to watch about ten unrelated videos. Damn you, youtube.
Geno: oy vey...
EPG: Great. Now we probably have to go through some gay maze or something.
OMGWTFBBQ: It's all my fault...
EPG: Yes it CERTAINLY is. You are a horrible moster and I pray for your death.
While in Canada, I decided to visit an old friend to see if things turn out any differently.
EPG: Probably fiddled with himself too...
I don't remember this formation in the Narshe caves.
That encounter also taught OMGWTF Rape.
While we're here...
he;lp - Cure
Gold5 - ...we'll go over that one later.
Burp - Fire.
Rape - Drain.
Oh hey here's this dumb thing.
I have no idea why the game is telling me Pipebomb is talking. He's supposed to be damn near the other side of the continent.
Ep Pinto: I think this's that gay maze I was talking about. If we follow the light exactly, we'll probably be okay. For every mistake, Little Jimmy loses a finger.
Oh no! I'm sorry, Jimmy!
Random Moogle-thing: GameQuoter is the best gimmick ever.
GameQuoter: Do you have any idea what these ruins really are? We're still inside the ruins!!
Shine on, you crazy diamonds.
Geno: OMG ITS AIRDISC!! How has Canada been?
Airdisc: Its cold outside, and nobody ever comes to play with me, you know what I want? I want...
EPG: Who cares, where are the babes?
EPG: Fuck the fox network I pray hourly for their dicks to grow teeth and bite themselves.
Airdisc: No problem, my people will take care of it.
EPG: Your people? You mean those two naked guys behind the bar?
Airdisc: ...yes. Would you like some ham?
I think EPG is ultimately confused about his sexuality. By the end of this game, I'm sure we'll have an answer of which field he really plays for.