The Let's Play Archive

Awful Fantasy

by Roar

Part 18: Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen

Obviously we survived and we're taking these dudes, though I guess I didn't really need to bring EPG. Oh well!

Vector's on fire and smothered with Geno's gang and Canada soldiers but you already knew that.

Airdisc: Cake or death?
Geno: What would be cool is if enless mayonnaise came out of your eyes at command and you could trap your enemies in a pool of mayo.

That doesn't seem very grey of you, Geno.

Pirate: So go talk to him already!

Up near the Vector command center, we run into this dude and follow him to Al's room.

Al: You released the fucking furries from my Xbox, correct?

Stuntcock wanders in from the back doorway.

Stuntcock: Sounds funny to say it out loud, doesn't it?
Stuntcock: Never will I cleanse my retinas of the sight of a full-on furry yiff-orgy...
Pirate: Arr, some things a man was not meant to see...
Al: It is my fault. I should've bought the service warrenty.

Stuntcock: Say, why don't we have dinner with these fine people?
Al: Okay then, let's throw a great big party! Everyone's invited!
Stuntcock: You heard the man! Spread the word! There's some pirates who don't like Al's parties!
Pirate: The party starts in 4 minutes! It'll be the best thing ever!

So yeah we have four minutes to talk to dudes. Any interesting things from the millions of screenshots I took of this shit?

King REoL: Gotta hide my secret identity sucks in here!

The answer to my question was no. No, there isn't.

Pirate: Fat, blind, AIDS-riddled crack whore or not. That's a keeper.

>(To the Pirates!)

Al: Well the pirates! I.e. us! Woot!

>(You suck!)

Al: No, YOU ARE!

>(More drinks please!)
(The correct response)

Al: Agreed! More alcoholic beverages please!

Al: We locked up Todd in a filthy prison cell. Wanna go throw rocks at him?

>(Sure, after the party.)
(The correct response)
(Your idea fucking sucks!)
(What the hell are we waiting for?)

Al: Of course, it would be better to wait until after the party's over. We gonna have some fun!

Until futher notice, all of Al's responses to you are identical.

Al: I hope my pirate crew hasn't caused too much trouble, what with the plundering and destroying and all.
Al: It's just what they do, ya know?

Al: Eh, what can you do about it now, huh?
Al: By the way...with regard to Fistgrrl...

Al: Right then, I now declare this to be free question asking session. Fire away!

>(Can I have ten bux?)

Al: No, you may not have ten bux.

>(What's the sexiest body part?)

Al: Clearly, the correct answer is the genitals.

>(I have this rash. Should I see a doctor?)

Al: Tough it out, you big whiney baby. Until something falls off, at least.

Al: We cannot allow the furries to go around doing their furry thing. It just isn't right!

(Furry things...I don't want to think about that.)
(The correct response)
(You mean like homosex used to be?)

Al: It's time for the Final Solution...

I just noticed that TACO's head looks like a cat lying down on the back of the chair.

Al: Hey, pop quiz, hotshot! Which of the following questions did you ask me first?

>(Can I have ten bux?)

Al: Hee hee! Now go do 50 laps around this table! For serious!
Stuntcock: When he says he's serious, he means he's serious! Sometimes.

So, we now have control again to immediately talk to the guards on the other side and get into a fight. Let's talk to Stuntcock and Al first though.

Stuntcock: Run, you magnificant bastard! Run!
Al: Please don't touch me.
Pirates: We wanna kick your ass!

That sound good to you?
>(Bring it on)
(Bugger off)

They die horribly.

Pirate: *splurt*

Al: Any last minute song requests?

>(Let the bodies hit the floor!) (
The correct response)

>(It's getting hot in here!)

Al: It's getting hot in here! So take off all your clothes!

>(happy hardcore techno music plz kthx)

Al: Go fuck a pacifier, raver boi.

Al: Anyway, I have a proposition. We believe the furries headed north of here, to Pervert Island. We need a bit of help so we want to hire some hired muscle. Specifically, we heard your leader is a Super Saiyan.

...Since when has OMGWTFBBQ been the leader? I've been actively ignoring him for half the game.

Oh apparently the game agrees.

Al: We'll be taking the ship from Albrook to Pervert Island. Will your leader lend us his SSJ powers?

(Aye aye!)
>(No! Ass.)

Al: Ha ha ha. Now say yes before I break your legs.


Al: I'll send Rope Kid along, too! Better safe than sorry!

Oh, hey, it's that guy that let REoL poison Banned. With Kool-aid.

Rope Kid: I'm Rope Kid. I'll be your tough yet caring leadership figure for the day.
Ozma: Back from your vacation, eh? How veeery convenient.
Rope Kid: ...SHIT. There was a survivor from Banned Castle?
Jeddite: Shouldn't you be spitting a bin full of McNuggets somewhere?

He leaves.

Al: Okay, that just about wraps it up! Who wants pie?

The dinner passes and fades to black.

OMGWTFBBQ: That's it, I order you to accompany me to Pervert Island, you sorry excuse for a man!
Pipebomb: Okay, sounds like fun! But I'm the leader this time!
EPG: Alright, you can have a turn, you big baby.
Jeddite: I get to lead the rest of us as we party our pants off here and generally do absolute jack shit!
Pipebomb: Shine on, you crazy diamond!
EPG: Have fun slaughtering the nerds in fursuits!

If anyone's the leader of anything around here, it's TACO.

Oh hey there?

Pirate: Attendence is at an all-time high, so Al wants to repay you!
Pirate: Pirates have withdrawn from the port of South Figaro. Also, they've been banned from Banned Castle.
Pirate: Al wants to give you all his Xbox games. They're stored by the Xbox, if you want to go pick them up.
Pirate: And this phat lewt is from Al himself...

Pirate; Dum de dum...

I'm missing a prize. I must have fucked something up but I no idea what. I followed it to the letter of the original...oh well I don't care about Charm Bangles.

Speaking of prizes, though, let's check out our "Tintinabar".

When we find someone who can actually use this thing they're gonna be happy!


I will literally go out of my way to talk to TACO.

Speaking of talking, let's go watch that scene I didn't know existed until the other FF6 LPs in this forum.

Stuntcock: Wow! Is this a UFO?
X JAKK: Haw haw! You believe in UFOs!
Stuntcock: I must admit, it ain't exactly flying.
X JAKK: That's what YOU think!
Stuntcock: yo mamma
X JAKK: You talk about my mother that way!
Stuntcock: I'm going back to the party. See ya, loser!

X JAKK: I bought it used from UFO-MArt. Piece of shit breaks all the time, but I love it anyway!
OMGWTFBBQ: How much did it cost?
X JAKK: I talked the dealer down to 53 cents and some pocket lint! Pretty good deal if I say so myself!
X JAKK: If this thing doesn't start working soon, I swear to GOD I will kill you all while you sleep.

That sure was productive. Off to Albrook!

Rope Kid: Check it out, I conned these poor schmucks into joining our battle against evil!

Oh hey favorite characters!

Rope Kid: What a coincidence! You know these people! That's good, it means you're all like friends and stuff. You are friends, right?
Pipebomb: You know what, I have no fucking clue. That part of the dancu wasn't well written.
Rope Kid: Clearly there is some sexual tension to be resolved! Go get a room at the hotel and have some sex already!
Rope Kid: We set sail tomorrow morning! Go busy yourselves until then, wink wink nudge nudge.

Pipebomb walks up to her all and glares at her...

Pipebomb: You know you want it, baby!
Isnoop: Go-Gurt! Squeeze it, slurpt it, grab it, glurp it...I'm sorry, what were we talking about?

It's good to have you back, Isnoop

Pipebomb: Send me a copy of the tape and it's a deal!

Apparently, Pipebomb can't sleep.

It's time to end this chapter, but let's do it on a special note. I could easily transcribe this next scene but you really, really need to the music to make it work. So just watch it on Youtube instead!

Click me!

Next time: