The Let's Play Archive

Awful Fantasy

by Roar

Part 20: Chapter Nineteen

Chapter Nineteen

I tested out Pipebomb. Using Berserk on him makes him attack normally - he DOES have a weapon equipped, after all. I haven't tested out vanish/doom, mostly because I can't figure out which spell is vanish. Stupid renamed shit.

We went into this here cave and Ricequeen is very very stealthy. But you've all seen this dumb shit so let's get to what's been changed.

Apparently, the statues are now Realdolls.

Pipebomb: No, these are just some crappy generic brand. Not that I'd know the difference, ahem.
GeekTheMage: You're right. A brand name RealDoll can pass for human, save for its soulless eyes. Plus, it's inanimate. These things are rather frumpy, if I do say so myself.
OMGWTFBBQ: This one's still warm...
GeekTheMage: Don't touch it! Ick! You nasty, man!
OMGWTFBBQ: I think someone used that recently!
GeekTheMage: You wanna go check for sure?
Pipebomb: For the sake of science!
GeekTheMage: That's inhumane and unethical!
OMGWTFBBQ: I wonder if one of the furries did it?
Pipebomb: I suspect most are right now.
OMGWTFBBQ: ...damn you for that mental image. And we have to approach them... no wonder Ricequeen chickened out.
Pipebomb: Yeah, he's kind of a fag anyway.

Oh hey Hamburglar.

Hamburglar: Alright! Time to have some fun! SO LONELY
Pipebomb: Hey turdburgler! Don't you ever learn?
Hamburglar: For your information, it's pronounced HAMburglar.

Gotta say, I'm pretty sure I didn't need Ricequeen for this shit. All three of my guys were hitting him pretty damned hard.

He dropped in anyways, though.

GeekTheMage: sup
Ricequeen: hey mang
Ricequeen: sup turdburger
Hamburglar: It's pronounced HAMBURGLER!
Pipebomb: Yay! Ricequeen grew a pair!
Ricequeen: I'm here to fight furries with my friends!
Hamburglar: Heartwarming!

Rather impressive, actually.

Ricequeen: Ooh ooh! I've got a plan!
OMGWTFBBQ: Okay, let's hear it.

OMGWTFBBQ: Fuck, my eardrum!
OMGWTFBBQ: O I C, this is for that manga-style comic book you're making.
Pipebomb: Is he going to be a shitty reoccuring villian in that, too? Oh, BURN!
Hamburglar: .........I resemble that remark!
Ricequeen: Available never, just like all goon projects!

You gotta admire X JAKK's honesty here.

Anyways Ricequeen has Sketch and Slot, which makes him more useless than most of the other characters.

It works for now, though.

Hamburglar: Am...Am I really that ugly?

He disappears.

OMGWTFBBQ: The REAL furry threat is just ahead!
GeekTheMage: Big scary multi-breasted hermaphrodite furries!
Ricequeen: That's like a dick-girl, right?

Remember these lines for later.

Anyways, the RealDolls have something to say.

Upper Doll: What kind of freak could get off on this? o wai
Left Doll: Craftmanship like a four-fingered carpenter and detail like a sucked-on gummi bear...HAWT!
Right Doll: This one's still warm! Ugh... glad I bothered noticing them.

Further on in the cave, we find dudes.

OMGWTFBBQ: Alright, let's kick
GeekTheMage: Fuck this shit, I'm outta here!

OMGWTFBBQ: In the name of the earth, the water, the trees and all life, I shall punish you!
Pipebomb: Is he about to level up?

Time passes.

GeekTheMage: Ooh ooh! I get to finish you off now!
Chickensuit: That'd be cheating, silly.
OMGWTFBBQ: The way of the Ninja is deception!
Chickensuit: That's totally unfair!
OMGWTFBBQ: Such is the way of the Ninja.
GeekTheMage: That means we have the advantage now, right? Right?
Chickensuit: ...wait. We two are evenly matched, and my homiez outnumber your homiez. What advantage are you talking about?
Pipebomb: Yeah, now you gotta do as we say since we got you by the small parts! To the Furry Concentration Camp!

I have Team Get my mack on had similar good luck!

Rope Kid: ASDKH12 WOW! Don't forget to pick up your Yiff Star Badge as you enter the internment camp!
Chickensuit: Why do you hate us just because we're furries?
Rope Kid: Defiler of childhood memories! You will be escorted to the Furry Concentration Camp soon enough.

Pipebomb: You know you want it, baby!
Fistgrrl: Thanks, but I'd rather drink bleach.
GeekTheMage: That means she's in love with him, right?
Ricequeen: You sure know your anime!

Ho ho ho!

Even REoL thinks it's funny!

I don't think his Pirates are quite so amused, though.

King REoL: hay guys whats going on in this adtrw
Rope Kid: Woah, this like a supernatrual 90210-666!

REoL turns all of the furries into Yiff Tokens. I've never been so happy for his presence before this moment.

Todd: Now THATS how you put the lotion on its skin!

No idea why he's back to Todd.

Particuarly since he's REoL again one sentence later.

King REoL: I know it sucks, but that's life!

REoL smacks him down, but he gets back up again.

Rope Kid: Todd! Or should I say... King REoL!

Somehow, the fucker manages to poison me again. He's pretty good at that.

King REoL: Not the sharpest bowling ball, are you, Rope Kid?
Rope Kid: I don't get it.
King REoL: Al, I choose you!

Rope Kid: Omg! Al! Sir, the furries have been successfully capt-
Rope Kid: Wait a minute, you're not the real Al!
Al: Al al al!
King REoL: Ha ha, sucker fell for it!
Rope Kid: Um, no! Hello?!
King REoL: Al! Return!

Rope Kid: WTF
King REoL: You're such a dummy! No wonder you haven't figured out my true identity!

I'm pretty sure he called REoL a few minutes ago, dude.

King REoL: See why I always win?
Rope Kid: You're DELUSIONAL, King REoL!
King REoL: How does the saying go? "Kill you, and then yourself?"

King REoL: Close enough for me!

The screen goes wacky colors and the furries fly out of the sealed c


King REoL: I'm doing you all a favor! Don't you forget this! Time for some pwnage!

King REoL: All your Yiff Tokens are belong to ME! That joke's so goddamn fucking funny!
King REoL: Let's zoom in and take a closer look!

King REoL: Can't touch this! Here's the windup...and the pitch!

Apparently, JAKK couldn't/didn't change the magicite sprite in this scene.

Announcer: Impressive!

He gets a shitload of Yiff Tokens.

King REoL: MMMMMonster kill!! The world shall fear the name of King REoL!
King REoL: Gotta hide my secret identity though...

The scene fades out.

OMGWTFBBQ: The mission was a success. So why am I so pissed off?
OMGWTFBBQ: Maybe it's 'cause King REoL attacked us, I dunno.

I'm pretty sure x JAKK is leaving Intercepter's name vague on purpose.

Pipebomb: Gosh darn you, King REoL! Darn you to heck!
Pipebomb: Dibs on the dog!
Fistgrrl: I wanted the dog!
Ricequeen: Clearly, I deserve to inherit the dog!
Pipebomb: I hope Pinto and the others are safe!
OMGWTFBBQ: Yeah, maybe the pirates won't betray them too!

I'm thinking they got betrayed. Just a feeling.

Jeddite: He hasn't by any chance stopped by to kick your asses and steal the Three RealDolls(tm), has he?
Pipebomb: Do our asses look kicked? ...RealDolls(tm)?
EPG: The party sucked and everyone left. Maybe Al's looking for a different kind of entertainment?
Ozma: And you wanted to get your hands on those RealDolls(tm) before King REoL did!
EPg: Shut your pie hole!
Pipebomb: Rope Kid's dead... King REoL ownz0rd him.
Jeddite: "Ownz0rd?" Who talks like that anymore?

Yeah, I was happy to see that one die.

GeekTheMage: The "wrongness" of one RealDoll(tm) is immense! But three...what would they do with such power?
EPG: STFU noob, you obviously don't know what you're talking about.
Pipebomb: He's got a point! REoL's got osme nefariousness planned.
OMGWTFBBQ: Our course of ation should be obvious.
GeekTheMage: You mean we go find King REoL and return the favor?
Ricequeen: I don't want to fight!
GeekTheMage: Anta baka?
Ozma: Ricequeen is a scaredy cat!
Ricequeen: Don't sass me! These past events have mentally scarred me! I'm gonna sue SOMEBODY, by God!

GeekTheMage: Big scary multi-breasted hermaphrodite furries!
Ricequeen: That's like a dick-girl, right?

There's those two lines again. I think he's copy-pasting at this point.

Ozma: Now is the winter of our discontent!

Everyone leaves, with the exception of Ricequeen and EPG.

Ricequeen: ...fag.
EPg: OMFG you take that back!

Cue laughtrack.

Next time: