Part 37: He has psionic powers now?!
Chapter 27 - He has psionic powers now?!
Deeper in the maze, there was some lame attempt at a trap that snapped a door shut and spawned a bunch of umber hulks. It was hardly noteworthy.
Next up was this little bunch of undead, some of which were kind of nasty.
Of course, I accidentally summoned a demon (I gotta say having someone around who can throw out a Protection from Evil at a moments' notice is kind of - wait, was I about to say something nice about Saerileth?)
which went to town on them in the way demons do.
Since I was in the mood for overkill, I let a Mordenkainen's Sword handle this group of gibberlings.
Also, fucking WILD SURGES HOLY HELL.
Yes. Yes that is 8 Mordenkainen's Swords summoned. Yes the max is only supposed to be 5. GOD do ever I love the "Wild Surge - Area Effect" roll.
Anyway,there was this book sort of thing here.
When you turned the pages, it summoned monsters.
Anyway it did that for a while, the only noteable thing it summoned was the beholder that got rid of the bunch of swords just before they killed it. I took it out with a Minute Meteor. Singular.
It made some magical items - scrolls of Simulacrum and Summon Fiend (both horribly redundant right now but I guess casting them from a scroll is nice sometimes?) and a Ring of Free Action.
Bunch of little demons and stupid kobolds gets a Mordenkainen's Sword, much like anything else does actually.
Wild Surge rolled Area Effect again. Haer'Dalis added super-fast movement Haste style to them so they hacked up the next room real nicely.
After a couple seconds of flying swords dismembering things:
Yip! We discovered! No time! No time! Avatar not focused! Crystal not ready! Avatar not formed! Kurtulmak not ready!
Focus... but not fully formed! Protect me! Protect or we are shattered once again and again! Call forth the Guardians!
More kobolds or something hell I don't -
hey that's a fucking xvart what the hell are you trying to pull here.
After we killed the "guardians" the crystal let out a wail and we were able to break off a Crystal Shard.
Oh, this crystal shard reminds me of a story! Drizzt and his companions -
Triumphed against all odds over some sort of stupid sentient crystal yes we all know Jan that's not a story you made up.
That's what YOU think.
Are you insinuating, Jan, that you are R.A. Salvatore? Because I would honestly expect the writing to actually be better if that were the case. And wait how the hell are you talking you're not even here?!
I'M IN YOUR MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIND!
Asim's right. It totally WOULD be better.
Archival Commentary - if I recall correctly, this was actually inspired by me forgetting that I didn't have Jan in the party at the time, writing that, then deciding that I liked it too much to delete it so I added the psionic powers bit.
Next up was a vampire. I guess that explains how Bodhi had control over all this stupid crap.
She sentenced me to this place. We should work together to escape!
I work here alone against all that would come! I have sealed the way, and only my hand can open what is now closed! We shall battle in this place I created and forever more it shall be sealed! If I do not hove control then no one shall! Only my hand can open the way!
Then I will TAKE your hand!
Oh come on now you're just REACHING for excuses to get all upset at me no rational person would extend that to "take your hand in marriage". what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck have I gotten myself into here
Ha HA! I removed the crystals that focus the magic for the door! Left it to rot in a pile of refuse! The kobolds have taken it now. They worship it, the fools! No way out for you! You'll starve here! Starve!
And then he attacked and Minsc had the Mace of Disruption-
I do! It is very disrupty.
- and it was all very anticlimactic and then I headed back to the library because I heard a noise there.
Well that's interesting.
So, I took a stake that one of the kobolds had had and headed on back to the big coffin.
Let me do it, Asim! Stakey goodness makes Boo happy!
[Saerileth also notices.] Why do thine eyes rest upon me so, Imoen?
I know how you feel about my brother. Aren't you a little young to be having your first crush?
Then thou knowest not my heart toward thy brother. 'Tis no infatuation.
[Imoen rolls her eyes, then raises her chin and imitates Saerileth's speech.] 'Tis no mere inflammation of the loins?
[Saerileth blushes.] Nay, indeed. But I love Asim as could no woman of twice my years.
Oh do you now? [Imoen's teasing suddenly turns serious.] And what makes you think you deserve someone like my brother?
I do not presume to deserve him. [Saerileth does not flinch beneath Imoen's gaze.] His love will make up any lack in me, as 'twould do for any woman whom he loved.
My brother is a dangerous man to know, and an even more dangerous man to love. I hope you will not regret falling in love with a Bhaalspawn.
The heritage of Asim is naught to me. His beauty, which didst pierce mine eyes when I first beheld him, proclaimed to my heart that he was free and unsullied by his father's taint.
Yeah, he always was a lady-killer...
What didst thou mean, Imoen, when thou didst say thy brother wast a "lady-killer"?~
[Imoen chuckles and shrugs.] Well, you said yourself how good-looking he is. You don't think you're the only girl who's ever fallen for him, do you?
[Saerileth's face pales.] Aye! I had thought so.
Don't get so worked up about it, Saerileth. When we were growing up, many of the girls around Candlekeep wrote him love-letters, gave him sweets, and batted their eyes at him. But he was just a kid then. He didn't really pay them any mind.
[Saerileth's face relaxes, though worry remains in her eyes.] I thank thee for this assurance. I am more at ease.
Yeah, you look it.
I swear to god that that's all actually in there and that all I changed was removing a couple words to make the timing make more sense since this is originally two different events I combined into one for... Time reasons, let's call them.
And that was that. I took his hand and we were free to move on.
AAAAAAAUGH GO AWAY GET OUT OF MY HEAD
I have no idea why I love this thing. I guess I've never met a death trap I didn't like.
Oh? But I see that Imoen is not with you. Heehee!
Thanks but no thanks on the turnips. I have sought you out to have you join my party. And yes, she ran off and got killed by the big snap trap up there.
Adventuring, eh? I don't know... I'm making close to 6 gp per week in this exciting field of black-market veggies. What would people say?
Uhh. What the HELL are you selling them to?
...Ooookay. Anyway, if it makes you happy, you can tell your friends that I've pressured you into joining.
As Uncle Scratchy used to say, 'A true friend is a bald-faced liar'. Let us depart then, my companion. I've had an itch to pepper a few hobgoblins with crossbow bolts.
Oh, and you wouldn't happen to know why Imoen screamed something about "get out of my head" before she ran into the trap? I mean, Haer'Dalis and I both heard you speaking in our minds at the same time...
Ugh. Don't remind me.
Blast! You've uncovered my masterful plot to have her run into an obvious death trap! You'll never catch Jan Jansen! Awaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyy- Ohhh you seem to have caught me. BLAST THESE STUBBY GNOME LEGS!
Tell you what. You can make it up to us by helping me get my soul back.
Anyhow, cleared out some silly umber hulks and minotaurs and opened the way to the next area.