The Let's Play Archive

Barkley's Shut Up And Jam: Gaiden

by N.N. Ashe

Part 2: Welcome to The Future

Music Falling Down

The year is 2053. Basketball is dead. My name is Barkley. I am one of the last B-Ball stars alive. In 2041, basketball was made illegal and almost all b-ballers were massacred in what is now known as "The Great B-Ball Purge". I lived, but I lost my reason for living. B-ball was gone. I live in the post-cyberpocatlyptic ruins of Neo New York with my 12 year old son Hoopz. I've given him all I can but sometimes I wonder if it's enough...

Hoopz shows off some moves.

- Impressive, Hoopz. Your dribbling has gotten much better in the past few weeks.
- Right dad? I've gotten better, huh dad?
- (Akward silence)
- Dad?
- Huh? Oh, uh. Yeah. Yeah, you've gotten a lot better, son.
- What's the matter, dad?
- Nothing, Hoopz. I was just... Just thinking.
- Thinking about b-ball, huh?
- Yeah, that's it... I was thinking about b-ball... Hoopz, why don't you go play some vidcons? I want to speak to Mr. James for a moment.
- Sure dad. Thanks for the dribbling tips and wall scrolls, Mr. James.
- No sweat, kid. Keep on practicing though.
- Sure will!
- You were thinking about her again, weren't you Charles?
- Hmm?
- Maureen. You were thinking about Maureen, Weren't you?
- He reminds me so much of her. The way he moves, his enthusiasm for the game, his eyes...
- You still blame yourself for what happened.
- Yeah, Balthios. Yeah I do. And it won't happen ever again. I... I just can't stand knowing that all of this, everything could be different.
- Barkley, you don't need to...
- Yeah, Balthios... I know, but I swear on her grave that nobody will ever suffer a Chaos Dunk again...

Neo New York is a base and disgusting city...

Where the strong bully the weak for what few neo-shekels they've got.

Ruffian 1- Hand over the Neo-Shekels!

Crime is everywhere, weariness and despair behind every corner.

Ruffian 2 - "Gimme'em!"
Bum - "OOF!"
Ruffian 1 - "Ahahaha! C'mon bro, let's get some chups!"
Bum- "No! My neo-shekels!"

"The cloaked octoroon, known only as "Ultimate Hellbane" has struck again, this time killing two men in NNY Mall. Police reported signs of zauber use and Ultimate Hellbane is believed to have connections with the terrorist organization B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S."

- Crime everywhere... This city is going to hell. Hoopz, I don't want you going outside tonight.
- Awww, dad.
- I... I must take my leave now.
- Bye Mr. James
- ...Goodbye, Hoopz.

Someone even more mysterious enters...

- Mr. Jordan...
- Mr. James...
- Jordan... What are you doing here...
- That's a nice way to great a friend, Charles. Heh, I was just in the neighborhood and thought I hear some... dribbling.
- You have absolutely no grounds to come into this house, Michael. You know that.
- Really now? You were an all-star baller and I heard dribbling. I have every right to come in thanks to the B-ball Confiscation Act. Or are you saying I don't have that right?

- Hahahaha! I'll play your game, Barkley. This time.
- ...
- Oh, and Hoopz
- Yeah?
- Keep practicing.
- ...

Jordan leaves after showing a few moments of humanity. He quickly turns away with tears in his eyes.
- Hoopz, I'm going out to get some medicine.
- Okay dad. You gonna be okay?
- Yeah, Hoopz, I'm gonna be okay.
It's time to get moving, if we go down and check the oven....

Afterwards we stroll down into the foyer. That shoe in the bottom corner is the dash bar. Long as it ain't empty, you be running.

and prepare to face the future.